I chuckle every time I see the GEICO insurance commercial where Jesse rides off into the sunset only to be struck in the head and knocked off his horse by the “E” in the word “End” that’s displayed on the screen, seemingly suspended in mid-air over the field, live for Jesse to hit. (If you haven’t seen it, you can watch it here: http://tinyurl.com/ad-geico.)
The lesson here is that words can hurt. This isn’t about “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”; this is about professionalism (which is NOT some code word for volunteers or paid people). I want you to realize that words and actions do more than hurt; they combine to tell your story—and collectively or individually, your department’s story—one interaction at a time. Depending on how you use and/or spell the same words, or their synonyms, your story could be perceived in a completely different way than what you were trying to say. It’s how you use and say those words that can have such a huge affect on the perception (think tone, inflection, body language, etc.).
Perception and reality
Recognizing that in many cases “perception is reality,” it is vital to choose your words carefully. Notice I didn’t say, “perception is always reality,” because perceptions are often based on more than just the present situation, to include positive and negative biases established over a period of time. A person’s past experiences may have absolutely nothing to do with the current situation, but those experiences (from a collective perception) could affect all circumstances dealing with that person or situation at that moment.
In heated arguments, it is usually advisable to stay away from words of passion—and this brings us to your first test. Do I mean passion or passion? You'd be advised to stay away from both meanings of the word passion in a heated argument! On the other hand, great speeches skillfully use passionate and positive words to drive home a point or convince an audience of progress to come. From motivational speaker Eric Thomas, “The wealthiest place on the planet is the graveyard. That’s where we find the inventions we were never exposed to, ideas and dreams that never became reality, hopes and aspirations that were never acted on. It doesn’t take any effort to be a loser!”
Those same words with the same passion in a one-on-one discussion could be construed as threatening or condescending, and would likely lead to a fight. Know your audience, know your mission, and, more importantly, know your topic. Further, when you’re writing, take the extra time to check your spelling and verbiage. What story do you tell when that press release has “too” instead of “two” or “there” instead of “their”? We are not just talking about speeches and press releases, though. How are you using those words, and how do you talk to the people you work with and those you serve every day?
EMS interactions
On an EMS call, how many of us have heard the first words out of a provider’s mouth to be, “Do you want to go to the hospital?” I worked for many years in an inner-Beltway community, riding the fire engine and the ambulance to many shootings, stabbings, seizures, headaches, broken toes, intoxicated(s), drug overdoses, etc., so don’t give me this, “But chief, you don’t know what it’s like” crap. I do know. Been there, done that. As soon as that provider says, “Do you want to go to the hospital?” what do you think goes through that patient’s mind? Though they may not present it outwardly, the patient likely takes great offense to the mere suggestion that they’re bothering you or that you consider them at this moment trivial enough to liken them to a taxi patron. Even for those regulars, start with a positive and even tone—something like, “What’s going on today, Mr. Jones?”
How about your body language? You walk into an office environment, where 9-1-1 reports a cancer patient with trouble breathing. You’re the first-responding engine crew in your first due at 10 a.m. in the middle of the work week, and this is an unknown patient. You walk in without equipment, throw your sunglasses on the table, and with your hand on your hip, your first words are, “What’s the problem?”
Dissecting that interaction, what have you told the patient and those observing you? What story have you already told? What if this was the fourth such complaint about the interaction of your members? What story are you then telling about your department? The story you’re telling is that your department doesn’t care about the community and that your management has bred an atmosphere of indifference. This should be the type of interaction that every chief wants to eradicate from their department.
The house fire interaction
Think about a house fire. You’re the first-arriving unit in a pickup truck. The homeowners are screaming in the front yard, “Why aren’t you putting the fire out? Where’s the fire truck? Why is it taking so long to get here?” How do you deal with this person? How will your interaction tell the story of your department? A calm and professional, yet authoritative, approach with the homeowner will likely diffuse the situation and allow you to get the job done. “Mrs. Jones, the fire engines are on the way; they’ll be here in a minute. As soon as they get here, we’ll do the best we can to take care of your house. Is everyone, including your pets, outside? Please wait right over there (pick a memorable spot). I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
Dissecting this interaction, what story did you just begin to tell? One of authority, empathy and compassion, which, repeated over time, will build significant trust and respect within your community.
Tell the right story
There’s no way to dissect every possible scenario. I don’t pretend to be able to. Let’s face it, though: More often than we probably care to admit, we have been less than professional in the way we deal with people who we both work with and serve. We also tend to use words of passion “because we can,” instead of reserving those words for the right moment. Any way you do it, it is important that you tell your story with passion, compassion, empathy and professionalism. Your future—our future—depends on successful interactions with our coworkers and the communities we serve.
