Firehouse Fantasy Worlds

Why do firefighters insist on believing in fantasies? I’ve assured my husband many times that when I went away to college, women in the dorms did not have pillow fights in their panties. Despite my adamant stance on this, he refuses to believe such nonsense. He’s even resorted to covering his ears and talking loudly over me so he can’t hear me tell him it’s all in his head.

Unfortunately, the firehouse supplies him with a steady source of fellow fantasy nuts who buy into his Hollywood induced delusion. It used to be that the other firefighters simply said, “Oh, yeah I’m pretty sure it happens too.” I never could tell them any differently because, as with my husband, they just told me they could never believe my version of reality.

The final straw was this morning though. Since I am actually stuck in the real world every day doing things like getting the kids dressed, fed and off to school, I don’t have time to debate fantasy football, online war fantasy worlds, or college dorm fantasies. But, ask a group of men to go through their morning meal and chores at a firehouse together and they seem to have ample time to discuss fantasies of all sorts.

Apparently my opposition has launched a full scale counter attack now. With a mayo covered knife poised over sandwich bread, two kids asking where their clothes were and an egg threatening to burn to the pan, my phone rang this morning. Like an idiot, I answered. My husband skipped the good morning hellos and went straight to, “See? I told you it was true. Two of my guys say that when they went to school they actually saw girls having pillow fights in their panties in the dorms. It’s official; it really does happen.”

Okay, fine. I give up. If anyone out there wants to believe this fantasy, be my guest. But fair warning to all believers: If you call your wife to spout your rhetoric during her morning rush with the kids, expect a lead-lined pillow upside your head when you return home from shift. No guarantee on the panties.