On Dec. 24, 2022, at about 10:30 p.m., I received a phone call that no one ever wants to get.
The caller told me that a good friend and brother firefighter took his own life. No one really knows what caused him to complete this horrible act.
He was the original “tough guy.” He was a 17-year veteran of the fire service and a technical rescue team member. He was hands down one of the best Squad guys who I ever met thus far during my career. He always was out in the apparatus bay working on God knows what and sharing his knowledge with younger members. He always was jovial and could get a smile out of anyone. He was the perfect example of a solid brother.
Out of this tragedy, a spark ignited.
A renaissance of concern
Brother and sister firefighters rallied around one another in a way that I didn’t see in a long time, maybe ever. The tragic loss started a wildfire, if you will, in the hearts and souls of the members. This is the first time that I experienced the brotherhood this alive, and the great thing is that it isn’t just at the station level. It’s at the department level, too.
People call each other daily and check on their teams and fellow firefighters. When they part ways, even on calls, it isn’t uncommon to hear “Love you, guys!” said out loud and without reserve.
Folks are getting together more to help each other or just to visit. It’s as though we remembered what the brotherhood is supposed to be about.
Morale
Many times, throughout my 15-year career, I heard “The brotherhood is dead” and “The good ol’ days are long gone” uttered by members familiar to me and otherwise.
Numerous factors contribute to poor morale within a department. Poor leadership across all levels is a big one. Not having a strong senior guy in the station to help to stop negative thinking is another. Station officers contributing to negative thoughts doesn’t help either.
The good thing about this is that we can correct all of these factors and make morale better.
There are some factors that we have no control over, such as the economy, call volume and political leaders.
The bond
Through the dark shroud of this terrible event, I realized something profound: The brotherhood never died. It lives well in the heart of every man and woman who ever performed the duties that are in the realm of the firehouse. That bond of family is shared by we who spend a third or more of our life with the brothers and sisters at the station.
We laugh and cry together. We break bread together at the kitchen table. We witness countless tragedies and support each other through the processing of those events, trying to make sense of them. When members hurt in their personal life, we share the burden of sorrow and sadness with them.
We also experience and share in many of the joys of life: attending a brother’s or sister’s wedding, gathering for the birth of a new child to the fire family, helping people move into their first house.
In short, sharing our life, good and bad, with one another builds that bond that’s unbreakable.
Honor and obligation
Each of us shares the honor of keeping the brotherhood alive and strong. I say honor, because that’s exactly what it is. We owe it to the solid brothers and sisters who came before us to carry on the strength and integrity that is the fire service, to do everything that’s humanly possible to ensure that future generations can experience this unique bond, to truly understand why the fire service is the best profession that anyone can have the privilege to be a part of and serve in. That way, one day, when retirement is upon us, we can look back and smile and see the fruits of good deeds.
Look around your department. Is your brotherhood strong? Is there something that you can do to make it strong or stronger? You owe it to yourself, to your department and to your team to do whatever is needed to ensure that you have that bond and that brotherhood.
