Suggestions Requested

[HFXFFF]

I feel other firefighters (mostly the crew I was assigned to) dislike me for a variety of reasons, for example, I previously was a volunteer, I am female, and my husband was hired shortly after me as a District Fire Chief (he's management and I am union), in different districts. I am an intelligent, fit, energetic individual so it is not a competency thing. I have done my best to go with the flow. But, almost a year has passed and things haven't died down. Here is what is going on. I have been told by multiple immediate supervisors numerous times that I should have no opinion and make no comments (even on current events). Also I was told when someone asks me a question to say "I don't know the answer", in all circumstances, even if I know the answer. On many occasions I have been told to cool it and stop cleaning or training. I have been blamed for equipment damage that I did not do. Recently, I had a threatening message written on my locker. I only want to be treated like everyone else with some respect. I don't want this to escalate any further. I am not sure what to do or say to anyone. Do you have any suggestions? Has anyone else experienced this?

This Sucks!

[NCRSQ751]

The fact that supervisors are in on it is pretty bad. You obviously need to bring a formal complaint up the chain of command. A little ribbing for the rookie is normal, threats and the kind of behavior you speak of is not.

Having you say you don't know the answer is ridiculous and sounds like it comes from a bad movie. The rest of it is equally ridiculous.

In order to follow the chain of command you will have to confront your immediate supervisor - this may be unpleasant but you cannot skip that person in the chain if you want any respect or recourse.

Document everything, every conversation - take pictures of the threats, save any letters or memos etc.

If you get nowhere with the immediate supervisor you can go over his head and keep going.

Hopefully there will be no need to bring any legal action. I detest even the thought of such a thing - people should be professional enough where that is unnecessary.

Odds are you will find someone in the chain that will take you seriously and help you with your problem. In the meantime, do as you have been doing by doing your job. I wouldn't answer I don't know to anything however, it's just wrong and they could not defend themselves if they tried to write you up for it.

Best of Luck and DONT GIVE UP!!

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Susan Bednar
Forsyth Rescue Squad (Captain)
NCTF-1
Griffith Volunteer FD

[KGM]

I know exactly where your coming from. I have had a lot of the same problems in the department I work for. Do what you think is right. Don't compromise your values for theirs.

I know it is a touchy subject going up in the chain of command but do it if it becomes necessary.

Don't give up!

[Quint1Medic]

Ummm.

All the advice I've seen posted here is good, but there's another thing you might want to think about. Before I read this thread, I responded to another post from you - about whether other women have a problem with fire trucks being referred to as "she." Do you complain about the guys leaving the seat up, too? I'm thinking you might have a wee bit of a chip on your *own* shoulder.

[EastKyFF]

I won't accuse our friendly topic-igniter of having a chip, but for those in the same situation, it does not help.

Having served on 3 different FD's in my life, I know what that initiation period is like. The thing to do is keep your mouth shut and your hands working and prove yourself. If it continues after you should have been accepted, it's a problem.

How do you know if you should have been accepted by now? There are always some good people around, I hope. When they have accepted you, they become your barometer for what the others ought to do. If FF's A, B, and C consider you part of the family while D, E, F, G, H, and Q are still treating you like a greenhorn, you've got grounds to dig deeper.

And as an aside, my department would give a nickel to have some capable females. We are too short-handed to be chauvinists!

[eCappy]

HFXFFF: Please let me preface my suggestions with this; I'm glad that you're sure it's not a competency issue and that you're an intelligent, fit, and energetic firefighter - but you're forgetting that it takes years for a firefighter to grow the 'thick skin' that he/she needs for this job. Give it time to grow.

Now I've only been a firefighter since 1968 so I'm still new at this but my suggestions are; a) NEVER waste your time complaining, (no one listens to the message, they just look at the messenger), b) NEVER think for one second that the 'chain-of-command' really cares. They'll replace (it's cheaper and easier) one person that's 'right' long before they'll replace a whole crew that's 'wrong' c) NEVER let anyone take away something you worked hard to get - stay your course at all costs, d) NEVER let them see you sweat or know that they're getting to you, and e) NEVER sink down or lower yourself to their level.

Once you get your "thick skin" that all firefighters need you'll look back at these situations and laugh; but always stay true to yourself and NEVER change what's under your "thick skin" because that will really suck.

[Althea Forhan]

Glad you have so much faith in people, Cappy. http://www.firehouse.com/forums/wink.gif
HX:
Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Althea

[weir_33]

Well Sometimes life sucks You put all your energy into something you love and people sh*t on you. HRM,s FD has just gone through some big changes and a lot of them suck like Volunteers spending years building up a dept. and seeing it taken over by Paid members from outside their community. You only get called for clean up. Some vol. dept,s want to leave the HRM Its Going to be a long time to straighten this mess out. All that does not help you with your problem I moved into a small community and joined up its been 8 yrs 2 as LT. people are just starting to hear my opinions. Its a long road to travel but its easier in the long run to speak less and prove your self with your actions instead or your words. I don,t know what tone or context your super,s used when they told your to keep your opinions to yourself. but from my experience it takes the focus off when your not in the spot light. cheer up TTFN

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Lieut. J.B.WEIR
Summerville Vol Fire Dept
Pride In Service !

[firefighter882]

So HFXFFF, feeling a little left out and a little put out by your fellow firefighters? I find it hard to believe that the problem is that you were once a volunteer, as so many career firefighters came from volunteer departments. It probably also isn't because you are female, there are what nine or ten female firefighters in the city stations alone. I don't think anyone begrudges you for having a District Chief for a husband. Maybe you think you should be treated differently because you are married to a chief, and you let everyone know that. Maybe your compaint writing pen has been used a little too often. Maybe you are too quick to speak before thinking. Remember you only have a year into this service, sometimes it takes many years to become "one of the guys". If you are looking for sympathy from your fellow firefighters, full disclosure of the facts is a good place to start. I am sure everyone is glad you know your job and can do it well, but you have to learn to take things in stride, back off, and know when to open your mouth as well as when to keep it shut. We all have our axes to grind, choose yours carefully.

Stay safe!

[SonicFF]

Hey, I complain about the guys leaving the seat up - ew. Therefore, I don't clean the guys' bathrooms, ever. http://www.firehouse.com/forums/smile.gif Seriously, though, it is a difficult transition sometimes to go from being a civilian to being a member of a (however pseudo-)militaristic organizaton. Are there any other rookies on your shift? How are they treated? If they too are told to say they "don't know the answer" (which I agree sounds ridiculous) then it all could be just a rookie thing, with the exception of the threatening notes. I would advise you to grin and bear it for now, if they want you to shut up, do it. But in the meantime, document. Document everything (to yourself of course) just in case you do need it later. As an ex cop I can tell you that lack of documentation can come back to haunt you. I hope it all gets better for you! Keep your chin up,
Sonic

"150 years of tradition unimpeded by progress"

[MikeHunt]

Originally posted by HFXFFF:
I feel other firefighters (mostly the crew I was assigned to) dislike me for a variety of reasons, for example, I previously was a volunteer, I am female, and my husband was hired shortly after me as a District Fire Chief (he's management and I am union), in different districts

This Sucks!

I will give you a few suggestions
1. Give up - Start over
2. Start being nice to the guys
3. Stop pointing fingers
4. Dont look for your husband to help you with your problems
5. Take a leave of absence for health related reasons and come back with a new attitude.
6. If all else fails just quit before someone gets hurt.


"If you can't handle the heat stay out of the kitchen". That leaves "MORE FIRE FOR ME!"

[This message has been edited by MikeHunt (edited 06-26-2001).]