Not being taken seriously.

[BFDff630]

Do any of you have a problem with not being taken seriously or that some of them think that you can't do things because you are female.I don't know if they are trying to be a gentleman or just the other.I find it very disturbing.I tried to be a adviser for our explorer troop but I was told that they don't want a den mother.I'm really beginning to get discouraged about being a ff/emt but I love it so much that I don't want to quit. If anyone can give me some advise I would be so grateful.Thanks! :( :confused:

[NCRSQ751]

You will find this anywhere. Some firefighters are skeptical of anyone new, and some men are skeptical of women.

Frankly some women are skeptical of other women. I am, that may shock you but unfortunately for every one of us that is sincere pulls her weight, there is a female that comes to the firehouse to meet men or keep an eye on one. They ususally weed themselves out rather quickly.

Why do they think you'll be a den mother? Do you spend a lot of time acting like a mom?

Take a look at your own behavior - objectively - and try to figure out if they have reason to say that.

The firehouse is supposed to be like a family - but after the training is done. Make sure that you make it understood that training, learning and leading are your priorities.

Why not come up with a program outline that emphasizes training activities and other things you'd like to see in an explorer program. By showing true interest in developing the young people to be firefighters you might get rid of some of their fears.

[Firebear230]

I have been in the field for about five years now, and I can understand what you are talking about. I spent a lot of time proving that I was there to do the job and not just be a "fire groupie". I still get ignored by superior officers at my volunteer department. At my jod, I had written up our aerial truck for low oil for a week and it was ignored because the garage assumed a chick didn't now enough about trucks to be right. I was and my shift supervisor tore them a new butt :D .

At any rate, I have proven myself and earned repsect by staying my course and showing respect and dedication. If you truely love what you do, no one can take it away from you. Hang in there, you seem like you care and there are a lot of us out here pulling for you.

Stay safe ;)

[DianeC]

Absolutely! Especially since I am on "school leave" finishing up my Master's so I am not around as much I used to be! Mind you, I do have TWO Bachelor of Science Degrees in Fire Science!! Three years of school on the subject of Fire! I was also the first member to take Firefighter I (I took it while in school in CT) because, at the time, Long Island wasn't up to par with the rest of the nation in terms of firefighter certification.
:mad: :confused:

[BFDff630]

Thanks alot Sisters.I have really been prayin about it and I'm just going to show everyone of them up.Alot of different things have happened with in the past year and I have stayed the course.I feel like this is a calling, it's in my blood.We've got alot of new young guys who haven't been there to long So I have to re-prove myself.But I'll do whatever it takes.God bless All of you!! :cool: :p

[rhondahiatt]

Hang in there BFDff630. That situation is everywhere. I have been on my dept. for 12 years and it took forever to gain the respect of those men. Just stand your ground and they will lighten up. Good luck an God bless.

[TCmib379]

We have 1 ff/emt who is a lady she is 23 yrs old a damn knackout but don't let her fool you I grew up in the great service!! She is first out on an MVC and I was in search and recue training with her last weekend and she was right on my *** pardon my fench!!! She is sharp as a tack so!!! I look for the title to read Lt. Heather Stiltner!!! So don't be discouraged grab it and growl!!!!

Please keep in our hearts and thoughts our brothers and sisters of FDNY but please got don't forget the most precious thing their children...

[Resqfreek]

I wouldn't worry so much about trying to prove how good you are in time things like that become too obvious to ignore i commend you for your efforts and your perservearence(is that spelled rignt?)some people are slow to accept change. You obviously have a desire to grow and expand your horizons so keep trying things from all different angles eventually you'll come up with one they simply can't ignore or pass up. :)

[BFDff630]

Thanks everybody for the great advice.It really does help.Since I've done this post I have tried to change my way of thinking and that I have proved that I can do the job but it's up to me to continue on.And as far as the new guys are concerned they just need to keep up.Thanks a bunch.God Bless America,And everybody . :cool:

[Sparkie911]

Hey BFDff630,
When I was hired on, MOST of the guys were complete ***** holes. There were only 3 other women on the job at the station level when I was hired on. Just so you’ll have a reference that is 3 other women out of just over 1,000 firefighters. The form of harassment was malicious at times. But I keep moving forward determined to prove myself worthy of the badge in their eyes, and maybe in my eyes too. After I had about 5 years under my belt I took a step back and realized … mission accomplished.

You have to want it, and then bust your butt doing it. For some of us, we need to remember to look up once in awhile during out determination so that we can look back to see the goals that we have already accomplished. This will allow us to be able to enjoy having met those goals and to move on to new ones.

I’ve been on the job for 11 years now and I have to tell ya… Work as hard as you might, there are some folks that just aint gonna bite! Choose your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff okay.

Sparkie

[Ian346]

Is a man allowed to make a post here?! I saw the title and wanted to add some words of encouragement. It really is time the guys grew up and dropped the ego.

To all women who have established themselves, remember that new women face the same troubles as you did and don't fall into the trap of siding with the men because you don't want them to see you as they do the new girl.

Bear in mind that any new person has to prove themselves, (it is doubly hard as a woman) and it isn't easy. Concentrate on being good at it, you can't make any mistakes and don't stand out too much to start with, if you try too hard they'll pick up on it!
The important thing is not to try and prove yourself to the men but to be a good FF (there's a difference!).

Best of luck, things are changing, slowly and hopefully the dinosaurs will become extinct.

[ 10-17-2001: Message edited by: Ian346 ]

[BFDff630]

Thanks Ian346 it is nice to have a mans point-of veiw And I plan on sticking around for the longhall :D :cool: We have drill tonight and I'm going to go and do what I always do,"my Job".God bless everybody. C-YA!!!!!!

[Ian346]

Go get 'em!

[Michelle Latham]

So far I've been very lucky. Both of my fire departments are full of really cool guys that treat me like a firefighter. There are a few annoying boys but they are the minority. To be honest, any time that I've been truly ignored or not taken seriously it's because I haven't proven myself in that area yet - or I've been too timid during training and the guys don't trust me yet. I can't blame them!

[nikp16]

so, how are things going for you now?

I find that dedication can sometimes be just as serious an attribute as experience. The veteran slacker isn't better than the dedicated probie!

wishing you the best

stay safe,
Nik

[LACAPT]

My best advice to woman that are considering the fire service is be certain that your motives are in the right place. I don't think I have to elaborate on that subject any further. Secondly be yourself and don't try to be anything phisicaly, mentally, or even spiritualy more than you really are. In other words if you find you cannot do something, admit it, and work towards accomplishing it, but don't kill yourself trying to do what you can't do. I garrantee that you will have the respect of your fellow FFs if you can show that you are just as human and prone to making mistakes as they are. I have in my 12 years found a number of woman candidates fall flat on their face because they were out to prove to the world that they were better that the guys. Can most woman do the job of most men, probably not but then again most of the work in the fire service is waiting for the next one and its what you do while you wait that makes the difference. And besides I found that most woman were more eager to learn than most of the seasoned veterans. :cool:

[BFDff630]

Hey everybody! Things have gotten better. We just got done with our fire prevention at the local school.The school told my chief that this was the best fire prevention that the school has had.He made it a point to tell me of a good job that I did in front of everybody at the station it made me fell really good.Plus me and a couple of the guys had a long heart to heart one night and that told me how they feel and I told them how I feel and we worked alot of things out.Since then it has turned around.
I just want to say thankyou again to everybody who helped.God Bless!!

[hctrouble25]

You have probably heard these things before but:

1. You have to pull your weight - show the guys you are there to do the job right along side of them

2. Don't ask for special treatment.

3. Make it known that you are there to stay and eventually they will back off of you.

4. Run a committee and show them that you are capable of doing multiple tasks.

5. Don't allow the officers to push you around or ignore you. Get in there and fight for yourself.

6. Remember that these guys are your friends, treat them as such. They are now your extended family.

7. Be honest about the way they act towards you and make them accountable for their actions as adults.

8. Don't be afraid to be female around them. You are a girl after all.

9. Be tough, brave, and determined..that usually shuts them up.

10. Prove yourself to yourself before you worry about what they think. If you know you can do the job and you do it, then they will see it too and move on to someone else.

Good luck! ;)