Pulling the Wool...

[FlyingKiwi]

Ok just for a relax, strange but TRUE stories for the fun of it.

Starting with

Friend of mine makes id cards for different companies.

One of his clients hired a new sales administrator, within a couple of days she was being reffered to as a female canine due to her sparkling office personality.

The person that sent her details and photo over the internet, for the id card made a wee typo.

Apparently she went ballistic when her id card arrived back.

They had left the "o" out of account manager.

:D :D

[FlyingKiwi]

The object here is TRUE STORIES not stuff that everyone gets from the email.

[Temptaker]

I was at work one day at the hospital, working one of our Geriatric floors. I was helping this man into bed. Obvioiusly in a hospital you usually wear a hospital gown. This man had a gown on and when the other nurse with me and I stood him up, we pulled down his pants, at which point he got aggressive. Hit the other nurse with me, sending her flying, since he can not stand up by himself, promptly fell directly on top of me.

So there I was stuck between a cupboard, which can't be moved and a bed which wasn't working properly, so it couldn't be lifted and moved either, with this man laying directly on top of me, with his face in my chest.

This happened in the summer so I was wearing walking shorts, and when he fell between my legs... (getting the visual yet?) my shorts went up so it looked like I didn't have any pants on either.

The other staff on the floor couldn't get this guy off me, so you guessed it, they called the FIRE DEPT. The staff didn't tell them what they were walking into before they came into the room.

It was ok when the first three walked in and promptly turned around and walked back out, I knew they were laughing. The fourth one couldn't contain himself, was laughing so hard he was crying. As they walked in they can hear this man yelling at me, "You're NOT Helen!" Helen was apparently his girlfriend (not wife) of many years.

Once they had contained their laughter, they got the guy off me, and sent him to ER. Then they decided I might have a neck injury so I should go to. They carried me through a tunnel we have underground (we use it to go the morgue)past the laundry. Nearly gave one of the workers there an MI when she heard me say something to one of them. Carried me into the ER (where I also work), where the staff already had the story on the guy, put me in the a bed, and then proceeded to stand in the middle of the dept, and tell everyone how they found me, and what the guy was saying.

It happened years ago, and NO ONE has ever let me forget it.

[MalahatTwo7]

When I was doing my basic training for the army, I met a course mate, from Dauphin, Manitoba. Kal told me that before he joined the army he was a Mortitian apprentice. Ok, that was fine with me, but he also said that due to the small size of his home town, the mortitian also acted as the local coroner as well, so Kal therefore received many different and sometimes very unusal calls.

One of his calls was to a local "red" motel where well... you'll get the idea in a little bit. The call was for a male cardiac arrest death and that they would be required for body pick up. So he and a younger partner arrive on scene, and are about the enter the motel, when one of the cops tries to suggest that they don't want to go in on account that "it's real messy in there". Kal being something of a veteran to this business just pushes past.

Well it turns out that the male pt is the Mayor of the town, and he died in the act of sex with a prostitute (he was also married at the time). The attending cops are in fits of laughter over this, cuz he has died with a raging erection! (Lucky him I guess :) what a way to go) . As it turns out, he won't fit into the body bag on account of his erection, so then the cops are now almost into hysterics by now, and the young assistant is turning many shades of red.

Kal has only one option to make this guy "fit" and what he does made two cops hurl their guts, and the young assistant quit his job shortly afterward.....

Kal had to break this guys erection to allow him to fit in the bag. As Kal told it, the crackling noise of it breaking was very very loud, and all laughing stopped instantly. All the attending police officers were male and I think the action and the sound were a "little close to home" on that one. :(

[martinm]

I believe the following occurred in a large Capital City fire service a few miles south of me many years ago.

A couple had pulled over to the side of the road as they were feeling a little "frisky". One thing lead to another another, but as they were in a small 2 seater sports car, decided that they would recline the two front seats and "occupy" the space a little better. All was apparently going well until the gentleman concerned suffered a slipped disc and was left in agony, lying, (ahem), "on top" of the until now other willing participant. After some time, being unable to move, the woman managed to call for help on her mobile phone and the Police arrived. being unable to lift the man out of the car, the boys in blue decided that they would have to summon further assistance.

The fire service and paramedics arrived and it was quickly realised that the man was in such pain that it would be quickest to cut the roof off the car and lift him straight off, (and out I presume), and into the ambulance.

A few snips later, the roof is gone and the "casualty" removed, leaving a sobbing female and a written off car. One of the fireman trying to sooth things said, "don't worry too much, love. Once they get him to the hospital, he'll be fine".

Comes the reply, "**** him. What am I going to tell my husband about his car!!";)