1. #1

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    Default long story and lots of confusion need help..

    so here i am doing my dream job and lovin it. i moved form colorado to cali to get back into my life long career goal as a firefighter. me and my lady split up and that day i got offered to come out here and do some firefighting. know me and my lady had lived together for 7 months i love her to death. she just is confused about what she wants right know in life. anyways so im here and lovin the firefighting i know this is what im meant to do with my life and i know this is whats best for me. but i miss her so much i cant seem to go even a day without calling her. she wants to try to work things out but im more about getting back together then she is, shes very hesitant. anyways we figured out alot about each other while ive been gone. well im so toren cause she thinks i only came for a 3 weeks well i have the opertunnity to stay here for as long as i want know thats a sure thing. and shes really not. but im still so torn i miss her so much and love her to death. BUT i love this job and what im doing. i know this was long and thanks for reading it if you got this far, i just want to know some of your opinions. if i do go back for her it will take me a long time to get this far in my career goal in colorado that ive already reached in cali. and more money. so basically the career i love or the women i love. decisions decisions.

  2. #2
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    FWDbuff's Avatar
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    I can tell from your post that you are young.

    Ever see the movie "The Godfather?" In the beginning, when Don Corleone receives the movie star/singer Johnny Fontaine in his office, during his daughter's wedding.......Johnny starts crying, and The Don slaps him upside his head when he says "Godfather- What can I do?" The Don Slaps him and yells "YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN!"

    Well, here is me telling you to act like a man. I am sure I will echo the opinions of many others on here, when I say, that there are literally millions of more women out there than paid firefighting jobs. You are young. She is probably your first love. Dude, get the hell over her. Stop calling her, stop thinking about her, just STOP. Cold turkey! The paid position you are in right now will be there a hell of a lot longer than she will ever be. Can she guarantee a career in something you truly want to do? Can she guarantee a pay check? Health benefits? Economic security?

    The answer to these is, no she can not.

    At the age of 21, I myself gave up a career firefighting position in a community in the mid-atlantic states that was rapidly growing. They had no civil service hiring laws. The Chief was a very good friend of my Father. Same Chief called me when I got IFSAC FFI, and told me to come on down. My Fiancee at the time was a paid EMT. He even offered to get her a position within the County-based EMS system. But to no avail. She could not cut the apron string from Mommy, and here I am 15 years later, long since divorced from her.

    Stay put in California young man. I know that "forgetting" about her is easier said than done. But I promise, time will heal all wounds. If you drop her and forget her, 6 months from now you will be saying "Who?" I promise, it will get easier.
    "Loyalty Above all Else. Except Honor."

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    Well Put Buff,

    I myself was in a situation about three years ago. I was with my now ex-girlfriend, our lives were taking us in different directions she wanted to persue a goal, I myself had my own.

    I broke it off with her and am now with my Fiancee and I have a beautiful son. I am walking down the career path I want, she I am sure is doing the same, the long and the short is that you can't go through life not reaching for your goals, you'll only F*ck yourself later.

    Sometimes the pain is strong, however if in time things are meant to be, you might see her again.

    Good Luck, Keep Strong, follow your dream

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    Lincoln, adding onto what I and fyrtrks said.....Look at it this way.....You want to take a risk, and gamble the chance that you stay with her now, forgo your current career firefighting position, and wind up a security guard at the mall, because you cant get hired on anywhere due to fierce competition, or......

    you forget her, and STAY in your current career firefighting job, and swear off any relationships for a year or two.....You go to the job that you HAVE, IS GUARANTEED, that you ARE GETTING PAID FOR, and in the meantime, you hump everything that is female for the next year and party your azz off.......

    Remember.....Going back to her, there are NO certainties. Nothing is written in stone. What would you do if you quit your current spot, went back to her, and a year from now she kicks you to the curb once and for all, and you cant get hired on anywhere?

    What you have now is written in stone.


    The ball is in your court.
    "Loyalty Above all Else. Except Honor."

  5. #5
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    Default A chick's perspective.

    Well, it was amazingly difficult, but I did indeed make it through your post.



    Anyway, I agree with Buff and my fellow Canuck.

    Another option if you decide to get back together would be for her to move to California. Why should YOU have to give up your dream job? What is stopping her from pursuing a career/life in California? It's not like Colorado and California are a gazillion miles away from each other.

    7 months is a drop in the bucket of time.
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

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    Geez Buff, you snuck another post in while I was writing mine up!!!!
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  7. #7
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    Remember little friend of all the world--If women didn't have certain items of equipment that you do not possess--You would throw rocks at them.



    Women are like buses--there will be another one along shortly.
    "If you thought it was hard getting into the job--wait until you have to hang the "fire gear"up and walk away!"
    Harry Lauder 1981.Me on the left!

  8. #8
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    well i too have had a bad time with women i guess we all do from time to time take it easy and stay safe

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