1. #1
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    Talking Signs You Drive A Monster Truck

    Tales found in the NBC4 online news tonight:

    Five Signs You Might Be Driving a Monster Truck


    by Jon Acuff Source: AutoTrader.com July 1, 2008

    Despite skyrocketing gas prices, drivers are still finding creative ways to make their pickup trucks bigger and badder. From chunky tires to suspension systems that raise frames to lofty new heights, it's easier than ever to add size to your truck. But how much is too much? How far is too far? What if you wake up one morning and realize you're not tricking out a pickup truck, you're driving a monster truck?

    As a public service to all our truck drivers out there, we put together a quick list of five signs that you might, in fact, be driving a monster truck.

    1. Children run alongside asking you to honk.
    If you're driving a normal pickup truck down the road, don't expect neighborhood children to chase after you like you're the ice cream man. In a monster truck, however, they can't help it. Suddenly, driving home from work in the afternoon will feel like a parade, with kids waving excitedly when you go by.

    2. You need a ladder to get in.
    It's completely normal to need a running board to step into a vehicle. Many SUVs now include stylish running board options for an extra boost inside. But if you ever find yourself needing a ladder, with multiple rungs, to climb into your truck, you no longer own a pickup truck. That's a monster truck, my friend.

    3. You are able to drive over MINI Coopers.
    Even the lightest fender bender seems like a big deal when you're in an ordinary-sized car. Simply touching bumper to bumper is enough to snap your neck and jolt you back into reality. Not so with a monster truck. If you are able to park on top of MINI Coopers or smart cars, that's not a pickup truck you're driving. I promise.

    4. People take pictures of your truck.
    I drive a Toyota 4-Runner. In the six years I have owned it, approximately zero people have asked if they can take their picture by it. It's a great car, it's just not that unusual. You certainly can't say the same thing about a monster truck. Seeing one on the street is like spotting a unicorn. You can't help but stare and gape, and if you're really brave, take your picture next to it.

    5. Next to your truck, a HUMMER is an adorable little car.
    Professional basketball players don't look that tall on television. The reason is that all of them are roughly the same height. There's a false sense of proportion. Car dimensions are similar, and understanding them is a matter of context. If I told you that a car was 118 inches long, that wouldn't mean anything to you. What does 118 inches really translate to in the real world anyway? The real test is to see how your truck looks next to other vehicles. If it makes a HUMMER look small and cute, then you've got a monster truck.


    Will this list save you gas this summer or make you a better driver? Probably not. Will it help you never end up accidentally driving a monster truck because you can't stop yourself from adding accessory after accessory to your pickup? Without a doubt.

    2008 AutoTrader.com, Inc

  2. #2
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    Thumbs up Yeahhhhhhh..................

    He's Right...............


    And Yes, I'm still adding stuff to my Trucks (both of them) as well as sending the wife's Lincoln Town Car in next month to have the perfectly good Exhaust System replaced with a MagnaFlow system that will it have sounding like a 5.0 Mustang leaving.............


    "Rednecks R Us"...........
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

    IACOJ Budget Analyst

    I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

    www.gdvfd18.com

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    A woman that would come to a gas station I used to work would climb up the grille of her husband's Ford Bronco to check the oil and she could crawl out onto the air filter to reach the dipstick.I'd tease her about how one day the hood was going to fall on her like it was eating her and then raise back up for a burp.Big mistake.Her husband started bringing it in to fill up."Sorry folks.Park's closed.The moose out front shoulda told ya."
    One of my sisters used to own an Isuzu Trooper and she is short enough that she actually had to rappel out of it.The day she brought it to our folks' place,Dad and I installed a rope ladder for her to use when we or her husband weren't around to boost her up into it.
    She got mad enough that she kicked me in the shins about it.
    So,if a woman is small enough that she has to climb ladders or be boosted into the vehicle,does that qualify it as a monster truck?

  4. #4
    55 Years & Still Rolling
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    Thumbs up Yeahh.........

    Quote Originally Posted by doughesson View Post
    So,if a woman is small enough that she has to climb ladders or be boosted into the vehicle,does that qualify it as a monster truck?

    Yes, it does. According to my wife.
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

    IACOJ Budget Analyst

    I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

    www.gdvfd18.com

  5. #5
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    I've known a few "petite, small, or short" women. They were dangerous to be around when mad. Their best defense was to kick. The last one dang near stubbed my big toe..
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    I've known a few "petite, small, or short" women. They were dangerous to be around when mad. Their best defense was to kick. The last one dang near stubbed my big toe..
    So you also have a shirt that reads "You must be THIS tall to ride this attraction" with a line at the 5'3" level?

  7. #7
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    It's right beside the shirt that reads "It's not a Beer Belly, It's a fuel tank for a Love Machine..."
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

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