When things get hard to deal with
I am a firefighter/medic. I have been in this line of work for just over 20 years. I love what I do and I am proud of what I do. I am married to a cop who use to be such a nice loving caring guy until 911. After 911 he was at a big dope bust and when he called for back up nobody arrived to help. He became a very angry cop. He is from Iran. He hasn't been back there is over 30 years and doesn't live the religion. Anyway, I have been there for him through it all. When he said we were moving and he was going to transfer to a new district I followed. First he told his station to shove the job you know where. Anyway he has become a crazy cop in the last few years. He has so much hate and coldness to him. The other night I came home from my firehouse and as I walked through the doors he started yelling and screaming at me cause I didn't come home after my shift. I had things to pick up at the grocery store and then stopped at the bank. He was livid. He wouldn't even let me talk. He hit me and I flew. The guy has a hard fast hand and I know I have a fractured cheek bone for sure. I am not the barbie type that goes flirting. I have been with one man in my life and that is my husband. I have never cheated on him or anything. Like I said, after 911 he just became full of hate and anger. I don't know what the hell to do. If the guys at my firehouse find out what he has done they will kill him and same goes with my family. I have nobody else to talk to as they would all tell my family and the guys at work so I am looking and asking for advice here. Is there anyone who has any advice to give me? I know I need to leave and that he needs help, but he is a cop and will be able to find me wherever I am. Cops look after cops and they back one another no matter what, and so I can't trust them right now. Advice would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks.