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Thread: Just be funny!

  1. #251
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    Quote Originally Posted by doughesson View Post
    Orange is NOT the state color!
    Nope, but we bleed orange in the football season!

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    And then...
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    I can relate!
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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    My inner nerd really enjoyed this one:

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcusKspn View Post
    DUDE! Way toooooo much time on your.... ummmm....eeerrrrrrr........ aaaahhhh.... hands.....
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Awww nutz!
    Last edited by firecat1; 01-13-2010 at 07:26 AM.

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    Caaaaaannnnnn nnnnoooooottttttttttt rrreeeesssssiiiissssstttttt tteeemmmppppttttaatttiiiooonnnnn......

    Obama a'la Nixon?
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    Last edited by MalahatTwo7; 10-09-2009 at 10:00 AM. Reason: The Devil MADE me do it!

  13. #263
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    Funny Pic Disabled
    Last edited by MarcusKspn; 10-10-2009 at 10:24 AM.
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    When ya gotta go....
    Last edited by firecat1; 01-13-2010 at 07:26 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcusKspn View Post
    Funny Pic Disabled
    Which one?
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Talking Two medical students

    Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

    One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

    The other student says: "No, I don't think so.. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."

    Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

    The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."

    The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

    The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

    The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."

    So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

    The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
    01.20.13
    Change We Can Believe In.

  17. #267
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    Rated PG-13 (I don't think it qualifies for R, but be forewarned)

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    sign language...
    Last edited by firecat1; 01-13-2010 at 07:26 AM.

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    B shift, they are the same everywhere....

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    This one is for DaSharkie:

    It's a German commercial for the Karlsruhe Institute of Technology. They are asking people about MIT and telling them that it would be a lot easier to pronounce KIT.

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Works for me
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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  23. #273
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    Default Haiku For You

    One call for poetry and it hails haikus

    By Adrian Chamberlain, Times Colonist October 19, 2009

    Who knew? I mean, sure, Victoria is famous for its plethora of writers. Still, a call for haiku poems about their pets produced results beyond all expectations.

    Shakespeare? Stand aside, you silly English ponce. Hemingway? Return to that half-empty whiskey bottle. Alice Munro? Well ... she's a pretty good writer. None of the haiku submitted approaches anything Alice Munro has written. Sorry. Have to be honest here.

    Anyway, of the dozens of literary-minded folk who entered the contest, the winner is Linda Herrero of Cowichan Bay. She emerges victorious with this witty haiku:

    My dogs and cats shed

    They have smooth beautiful coats

    I never wear black

    Isn't that great? For one thing, Linda carefully follows the traditional five-seven-five-syllable pattern of this ancient Japanese poetry form. Her language is nice and simple. The capper, for me, was the last line. Brother, can I relate. Every time Ollie the Pug shifts his pudgy body, clouds of fur waft off him. Sort of like Pig-Pen in the Charlie Brown comics. Except it's fur instead of dust.

    Linda is clever at penning last lines pregnant with subtle implication. Here's another of hers:

    My dog sleeps on bed

    I wake up ... smell something bad

    I sleep on the couch.

    Bingo! Let me tell you, I've experienced similar nocturnal couch-surfing.

    Dog flatulence is no laughing matter, my friends. So Linda will receive the much-coveted Ollie the Pug T-shirt in the mail. Congratulations -- may you wear it long and proudly.

    Judging this haiku contest was difficult. There were so many strong submissions. I also enjoyed this one from Rod or Judith Roberts (it wasn't clear which one wrote it):

    Gale barks at midnight

    Her cry spikes the retireds' rest

    A deer pauses in mid-bite.

    Nice alliteration with "retireds' rest." Also loved the use of the word "spikes," and the image of the deer pausing upon hearing Gale.

    Sarah Loos sent one she says is about her husband. I suspect she didn't read the contest rules carefully enough, especially the part where it says write about your pet as opposed to your spouse.

    Dancing and jumping

    Dressed only in underwear

    Plays his music loud.

    Brother, can I relate. Many is the time I've practised my B-boy moves in the living room with Mott the Hoople cranked to 11, dressed only in my skivvies. This husband of Sarah's sounds like a man after my own heart. Perhaps a sleepover is in order.

    Some entries were rather risqué, like this from Shantel Hume:

    I love my Tucker

    Irresistible ----er

    Number two outside!


    Shantel earns high marks for (1) following the five-seven-five rule and (2) keeping her language concise. And hers is a very spirited entry. On the other hand, I'm not sure haiku masters such as Kobayashi Issa or Basho Matsuo have a great deal to be worried about. Mostly because they're dead and all.

    Several pillars of our community entered. Here's one from Eugene Dowling, former principal tubist with the Victoria Symphony and current University of Victoria music instructor.

    Pug, snorting in the driveway:

    "Where's my treat, person?"

    Off for a walk in the park.

    Somehow, Gene has managed to completely flub the syllabic rules of haiku, writing seven-five-seven instead of the other way around. So, zero points. Although I did like the photo he enclosed of himself with his pet pugs, Ebbie and Angie.

    And here's one from Wendy Morton. Wendy is a professional poet, so I felt compelled to disqualify her immediately. Still, her haiku is rather good, so I grudgingly include it here.

    Dude! Ollie's no frog.

    More like a portabello

    Sweet, brown, delicious.

    For those of you who didn't win or weren't mentioned, do not despair. Your entries are published at the bottom of the online version of Adventures With Ollie.

    On the web:

    timescolonist.com/tcblogs

    © Copyright (c) The Victoria Times Colonist

  24. #274
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    It's never to early to learn:

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Harve, you quit you dirty old man:

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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