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Thread: Just be funny!

  1. #401
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    Default New Nursery Rhymes.

    Posted: 21 Feb 2010 11:39 PM PST

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    The structure of the wall was incorrect
    So he won a grand with Claims Direct.


    It’s Raining, It’s Pouring.
    Oh crap, it’s Global Warming.


    Mary had a little lamb
    her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her
    between two chunks of bread.


    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man
    “What have you got there?”
    Said the pie man unto Simon
    Pies you idiot.


    Mary had a little lamb
    it ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up its @ss
    and turned its wool to nylon.


    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    And planned to do some kissing.
    Jack made a pass
    and grabbed her @ss
    Now two of his teeth are missing.


    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white and wispy.
    Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
    And now it’s black and crispy.

    This post was submitted by rondetto.

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    Default

    Hey skwirlies.......
    Last edited by firecat1; 04-04-2010 at 06:49 AM.

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    Talking Is sex work?

    Posted: 24 Feb 2010 12:37 AM PST

    A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

    While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.


    He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

    He posed the question of just how much of sex was “work” and how much of it was “pleasure?”

    A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

    A Captain said it was 50-50%.

    A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

    There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?

    Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, “Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”

    The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?

    “Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.”

    The room fell silent.


    God Bless the enlisted man.


    This post was submitted by Joe Umphrey.

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    Default

    I've seen this before...
    Last edited by firecat1; 04-04-2010 at 06:49 AM.

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    Default

    hey kitty.....
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    Default

    now that is a damn good cat picture. I like it!
    The Box. You opened it. We Came...

    "You'll take my life but I'll take your's too. You'll fire musket but I'll run you through. So when your waiting for the next attack, you'll better understand there's no turn back."

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    Default

    hehehe, cat fail, gdog win
    Last edited by mtg55; 02-25-2010 at 01:56 PM.
    Matt G.
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    Default

    Meanwhile back at...
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    Meanwhile back at...
    Hmmm... Nik, Teaser, Pokie, Pogo.......

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    Right of Way

    Q: Who has the right of way any time?

    A: The car with a gun rack and a bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't kill people, I do."
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Default

    You've got to at least smile at this one
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    Turn about's fair play...
    Last edited by firecat1; 04-04-2010 at 06:50 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    Turn about's fair play...
    Yes, Yes it is!
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    Put teh kamra down an' helpz teh kitteh!!!

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    When nobody is watching...
    Last edited by firecat1; 04-04-2010 at 06:50 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    I've seen this before...
    Thia reminds me of a picture I have somewhere of a sign at the Holland Tunnel in NYC - from when my Dad was doing work there - it was a clearance sign with 'We mean it!' on the signboard.....

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    Default

    Name:  Croak.jpg
Views: 327
Size:  28.1 KB


    Don't worry... he's about to croak.
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

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    Necessity, the mother of invention?
    Last edited by firecat1; 04-04-2010 at 06:50 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    Necessity, the mother of invention?
    Haha, Instinct. The mother of inovation!
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtg55 View Post
    Haha, Instinct. The mother of inovation!
    Methinks someone doesn't like cats?

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    I just playin. If my dalmation liked cats I'd probly have a few
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtg55 View Post
    I just playin. If my dalmation liked cats I'd probly have a few
    Dals are usually too hyper for cats, from what a friend of mine told me. Hers was just too big and strong to play gently. Even her kids got knocked over by the pup! I love our Malamute and I'm glad that, altho he's old and getting grumpy, he puts up with the cats.

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    Its not so much he doesn't like them, one yes he is very hyper....two (and i'm almost afraid to admit), he's ascared of cats.....
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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Better be good.........
    Last edited by firecat1; 04-04-2010 at 06:50 AM.

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