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Thread: Just be funny!

  1. #901
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptOldTimer View Post
    A trashy room you have there.
    This was the second semester at college. It's looked worse.
    Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.

  2. #902
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    How many firefighters does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Four: one to change the bulb and three to chop a hole in the roof.
    Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.

  3. #903
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    I have to post this before we loose electricty due to Sandy and obama.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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    Another squirllie pic for MS Cat.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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    This old man has a serious issue with chronic gas, releasing it indiscriminately and without regard for his wife.

    One Thanksgiving morning, he blows another big one and she finally gets fed up and says, "One of these days, you're going to fart your guts out!" He just laughs and lets another one rip, then heads upstairs for a nap.

    After he dozes off, the wife takes the guts she has removed from their Thanksgiving turkey, slips upstairs, and pours them out on the bed behind her sleeping husband's butt. She returns to the kitchen.

    Soon the husband enters the room with a strange look on his face. "Honey, you remember how you said I would fart my guts out someday?"

    "Yes," she says, barely able to suppress her laughter.

    "Well, it happened," he says. He holds up his right index and middle fingers and says, "But between these two fingers and the good Lord, I put 'em back in."
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    --General James Mattis, USMC


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    Gross, right? I bet on "Chicago Fire" they'd pull the guts out of his butt.
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    --General James Mattis, USMC


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    ok - what is funny is this thread is STILL going!!!!!!!
    CaptOldTimer and firecat1 like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pasobuff View Post
    ok - what is funny is this thread is STILL going!!!!!!!
    Thus proving we really are easily amused.
    firecat1 likes this.

  9. #909
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    Quote Originally Posted by pasobuff View Post
    ok - what is funny is this thread is STILL going!!!!!!!


    Hi L, Yes it is still going. Missed seeing you in here.
    firecat1 likes this.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  10. #910
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    He is another one for Ms Cat. Isn't this cute?
    firecat1 likes this.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  11. #911
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    Some more squirllie photos.
    firecat1 likes this.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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    Cap, ur nutz, u knoez that?
    CaptOldTimer likes this.

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    Name:  genie.jpg
Views: 128
Size:  46.1 KB
    Name:  baby shot.jpg
Views: 118
Size:  12.5 KB
    Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.

  14. #914
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    This is a great one!~!
    firecat1 likes this.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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    Another one of my squirlee photos..


    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptOldTimer View Post
    Another one of my squirlee photos..


    EEEEEEWWWWWWWW

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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptOldTimer View Post
    Another one of my squirlee photos..
    *sigh* That's what longjohns are for.

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    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.

    The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

    The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

    The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

    An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

    The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

    What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

    The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

    Finally... a smart blonde joke.

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    From the CFB Esquimalt "Lookout" newspaper (online version):

    Sorry. Error 404: Page Not Found
    I'm sorry, but the post or page you're looking for could not be found. It could be because of our recent re-design. Here are a couple of options that might help you.

    1) Use the search box in the upper right-hand corner.
    2) Try scrolling through the monthly archives to the right.
    3) Try scrolling through the categories at the top of the page.
    4) As a last resort, you can focus all your mental energy on what it is you're looking for, and it might magically appear on your screen (not likely though).

    You can also take a look through our most recent posts. Perhaps you'll find what you're looking for there.
    Still waiting for #4 to do "its thing."

  20. #920
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    Roses are red and violets are blue, a bottle of vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  21. #921
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    They live among us. They breed. They vote. God save us all.
    2012 Annual Darwin Awards

    Nominee No. 1:[ San Jose Mercury News]:
    An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl
    friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
    discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

    Nominee No. 2:[ Kalamazoo Gazette]:
    James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo MI, was killed in March as he was
    trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a
    friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that
    he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on
    something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive
    shaft."

    Nominee No. 3:[ Hickory Daily Record]:
    Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in
    Newton NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he
    reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which
    discharged when he drew it to his ear.

    Nominee No. 4:[UPI, Toronto ]:
    Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown
    Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24
    floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the
    courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was
    explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students.
    Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to
    police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day
    Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and
    brightest" members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what
    the dimmer members of this law firm are like.

    Nominee No. 5:[The News of the Weird]:
    Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent
    several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder
    conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
    sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he
    bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

    Nominee No. 6:[The Indianapolis Star]:
    A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk IN. A
    Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a
    muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his
    face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his
    parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was
    cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He
    was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

    Nominee No. 7:[Reuters, Mississauga , Ontario ]:
    A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in
    this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko,
    55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector
    Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved,
    and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

    Finally, THE WINNER!!!:[ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
    Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck
    a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County
    deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.
    Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock ,
    were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday
    night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

    The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had
    burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
    .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to
    the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again
    began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the
    White River Bridge .

    After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river,
    the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the
    testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and
    struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the
    accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his
    testicles, which will never operate as intended.

    Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God
    we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be
    dead," stated Wallis

    "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a
    first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident
    happened," said Snyder.

    Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife) asked how many
    frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck? Though
    Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally
    required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in
    fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  22. #922
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    We've heard about the same things here but, they all occur in Canada. EH.
    Last edited by Miller337; 01-17-2013 at 08:50 PM.

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    oops... sorry, wrong thread...not awake yet
    Last edited by firecat1; 01-24-2013 at 07:47 AM.

  24. #924
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    Super Squirlie
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  25. #925
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    This sounds reasonable...
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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