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Thread: Just be funny!

  1. #761
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    *lol idea courtesy of joke sent by Doug*
    Last edited by firecat1; 08-17-2011 at 03:40 PM.


  2. #762
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    This one should be mandatory in all the "My chief/department/instructor/etc hurt my feelings" threads:


    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  3. #763
    Forum Member FIREMECH1's Avatar
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    A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I
    can get a haircut?

    The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2
    hours.'

    The guy left.

    A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked,
    'How long before I can get a haircut?'

    The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'

    The guy left.

    A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How
    long before I can get a haircut?

    The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .

    The guy left.

    The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor ,
    follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to
    wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'

    A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.


    The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'

    Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,

    'Your house!'


    FM1
    I'm the one Fire and Rescue calls, when they need to be Rescued.

    Quote Originally Posted by EastKyFF
    "Firemens gets antsies. Theys wants to goes to fires. Sometimeses they haves to waits."

  4. #764
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    Last month,my neighbor had his granddaughter over and his wife asked her if she knew what the next day was.
    Li'l Darlin' answered that yes,she did know what the next day was.
    When asked she said,"It's President's Day,Gamma.That's when President Obama comes out of the White House and if he sees his shadow,we'll have two more years of unemployment and recession."
    Bob snorted his coffee across the room over that.

  5. #765
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by doughesson View Post
    Last month,my neighbor had his granddaughter over and his wife asked her if she knew what the next day was.
    Li'l Darlin' answered that yes,she did know what the next day was.
    When asked she said,"It's President's Day,Gamma.That's when President Obama comes out of the White House and if he sees his shadow,we'll have two more years of unemployment and recession."
    Bob snorted his coffee across the room over that.

    You have to love children!!!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  6. #766
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
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    I said EAT!!!






    `
    Last edited by CaptOldTimer; 07-08-2011 at 01:52 PM.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  7. #767
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
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    I am in big trouble!!


    .
    Last edited by CaptOldTimer; 07-08-2011 at 01:52 PM.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  8. #768
    Forum Member pasobuff's Avatar
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    A classic...I was CRYING!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTxkxG3DF4k

  9. #769
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pasobuff View Post
    My sides are busting.

    That was a good. A lot of truth in jokes too!!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  10. #770
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pasobuff View Post
    Yes. Thank you. me too.

  11. #771
    Forum Member FIREMECH1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pasobuff View Post
    Saw it live, busted every internal organ lmao. Did it again, thanks to you.

    Bill is coming your way.

    FM1
    I'm the one Fire and Rescue calls, when they need to be Rescued.

    Quote Originally Posted by EastKyFF
    "Firemens gets antsies. Theys wants to goes to fires. Sometimeses they haves to waits."

  12. #772
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Default Why Were YOU Wearing Clothes?

    Naked man taken to hospital
    Times Colonist March 23, 2011

    A man who had been walking naked around Rock Bay was taken to hospital by police.

    Officers who responded Monday after a complaint found the man "completely naked except for moments when a concerned woman citizen was able to place a towel around parts of him," said the Victoria police operations blog.

    When the officers asked why he was naked "the man responded by asking the officers why they were walking around in clothes," the blog said.

    "Unable to reconcile this philosophical paradox the officers conveyed the man to hospital for a mental health assessment."

    © Copyright (c) The Victoria Times Colonist

    Read more: http://www.timescolonist.com/health/...750/story.html

  13. #773
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    Back when I was 17,I worked as an ambulance driver for my Uncle who owned the local hospital.(What could possibly go wrong here?)For the reader's peace of mind,no I didn't have any patient contact.I just drove really well and looked good doing it.
    Well,one day,I was the only one in the office on fort holding duty during lunch when a patient called with a question about her recent bill from Uncle John.It seems that the printer had farbled up and the bill was sealed up with no legible printing on it.
    I was able to find her billing records and I started to run down what each item was and was it cost.
    I said"Okay,Mrs Smith first off,urinalysis..."
    She said,"I'm a WHAT?!You get me a doctor or an actual receptionist this very instant,young man..."
    The next day,I was working for his ex wife at her new husband's ranch "steering" bulls.

  14. #774
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Talking

    For you Star Wars fans out there.....
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  15. #775
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    I think the army makes coffee the same way.
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  16. #776
    Forum Member Alexianna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pasobuff View Post
    I just have to comment on this!

    I love Who's Line Is It. That was so funny!
    Greg is my favourite out of the regulars on there.
    Watch the time go right out the window ..... it starts with one thing, but in the end nothing really matters.

  17. #777
    Forum Member NFD-Firefighter's Avatar
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    Yeah, I've seen that, very funny!

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
    While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
    To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

  18. #778
    MembersZone Subscriber CKirk922's Avatar
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    A short demonstration of proper rescue tecniques...
    Last edited by Fireeaterbob; 05-10-2011 at 07:51 PM.
    A coward stands by and watches wrongs committed without saying a word...Any opinions expressed are purely my own and not necessarily reflective of the views of my former departments

  19. #779
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Got Scotch? I think I fit into the first 'toon a little too well... hhmmmm....
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  20. #780
    Forum Member Miller337's Avatar
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    Heck yes scotch is bad for you. VODKA its pure, unadulterated and hasn't sat around in a burned out barrel.

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