Why register? ...To Enhance Your Experience
+ Reply to Thread
Page 43 of 47 FirstFirst ... 3340414243444546 ... LastLast
Results 841 to 860 of 937
Like Tree22Likes

Thread: Just be funny!

  1. #841
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    7,151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hwoods View Post
    Wow..... You got 13 all the way from Norfolk??........

    Well, not really, but where I grew up, where doug is, Memphis, that is all we had.

    I did in some weather conditions, pick up WTAR Ch. 3 and WAVY Ch. 10 from Norfolk at times. Also at times a station out of North Carolina would come in pretty on Ch 9. I never found out where that was, but guessing Greensboro. This was on a old black and white table model, with an outside antenna.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers


  2. #842
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Betwixt here and there.
    Posts
    3,455

    Default

    Y'all know I'm convinced the skwirlies are taking over the world........

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfABnAS5i9Q

  3. #843
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    7,151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    Y'all know I'm convinced the skwirlies are taking over the world........

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfABnAS5i9Q


    I think you could call that one Super Skwirlie!!!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  4. #844
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,828

    Default Received in Email From My Duty Coordinator

    (and yep, she's Australian... well from Tasmania actually.)

    Men Are Just Happier People --

    What do you expect from such simple creatures?

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be President.

    You can never be pregnant.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

    Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet

    One mood all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you,

    He or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack..

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

    On December 24 in 25 minutes..

    No wonder men are happier.

    NICKNAMES

    ∑ If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

    ∑ If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Sh !thead.


    EATING OUT

    ∑ When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

    ∑ When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY

    ∑ A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    ∑ A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS

    ∑ A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

    ∑ The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS

    ∑ A woman has the last word in any argument.

    ∑ Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    FUTURE

    ∑ A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    ∑ A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..

    MARRIAGE

    ∑ A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    ∑ A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP

    ∑ A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    ∑ A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL

    ∑ Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    ∑ Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING

    ∑ Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    ∑ A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    A married man should forget his mistakes There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!



    SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and can handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

    {MalNote: and ya, I know. Most of this is as old as dirt, but who cares. Right?}

  5. #845
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    7,151

    Default

    Great one!!






    I think!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  6. #846
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Betwixt here and there.
    Posts
    3,455

    Default

    If this doesn't at least make you grin, you might wanna get a funny bone installed!

  7. #847
    Forum Member FWDbuff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Pee-Ayy!
    Posts
    7,300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptOldTimer View Post
    This was on a old black and white table model, with an outside antenna.
    I was making breakfast in the kitchen the other morning with the Three Stooges on, my 6 year old comes in, and after giggling for 5 minutes he says "daddy what's wrong with the colors?"
    "Loyalty Above all Else. Except Honor."

  8. #848
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,828

    Thumbs up A Great CHRISTMAS GIFT

    I might have to pick one of these up!

    DeWalt Nail Gun

    A must have in every home in America !

    For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house!

    In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket.

    NAIL GUNS! AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them!

    AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED!

    Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!

    Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for it:

    Thank you, DeWalt!!!

    New Nail Gun, made by DeWALT

    It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

    This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

    Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back, and relax and when she has the board in the right place, just fire away.

    With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, probably, ever again.

    =======

    Shoulda thought of this sooner!!!!
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Last edited by MalahatTwo7; 11-22-2011 at 09:21 AM.

  9. #849
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Betwixt here and there.
    Posts
    3,455

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    I might have to pick one of these up!

    DeWalt Nail Gun... After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, probably, ever again.

    =======

    Shoulda thought of this sooner!!!!
    Won't do you much good since I want a wrought iron fence.

  10. #850
    Forum Member Bushwhacker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Northern Rockies Region
    Posts
    637

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    I might have to pick one of these up!

    DeWalt Nail Gun

    A must have in every home in America !

    For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house!

    In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket.

    NAIL GUNS! AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them!

    AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED!

    Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!

    Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Father's Day or Christmas would immediately ask for it:

    Thank you, DeWalt!!!

    New Nail Gun, made by DeWALT

    It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

    This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

    Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back, and relax and when she has the board in the right place, just fire away.

    With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, probably, ever again.

    =======

    Shoulda thought of this sooner!!!!
    Well I never liked carpentry, but it looks like it might be something I can get into now
    Courage, Being Scared to Death and Saddling Up anyways.

  11. #851
    55 Years & Still Rolling hwoods's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Glenn Dale Md, Heart of the P.G. County Fire Belt....
    Posts
    10,739

    Talking Yeah, But........................

    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    Won't do you much good since I want a wrought iron fence.

    So what makes you think that he can't nail Wrought Iron??.......
    Never use Force! Get a Bigger Hammer.
    In memory of
    Chief Earle W. Woods, 1912 - 1997
    Asst. Chief John R. Woods Sr. 1937 - 2006

    IACOJ Budget Analyst

    I Refuse to be a Spectator. If I come to the Game, I'm Playing.

    www.gdvfd18.com

  12. #852
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,828

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hwoods View Post
    So what makes you think that he can't nail Wrought Iron??.......
    With the correct application of force, EVERYTHING is possible! Right Chief?

  13. #853
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    7,151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    With the correct application of force, EVERYTHING is possible! Right Chief?
    My money is on the fence!!!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  14. #854
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Betwixt here and there.
    Posts
    3,455

    Default

    This isn't one of mine so don't holler at me. I just thought it might give a few grins....



    http://cheezburger.com/Asset/View/5463531776

  15. #855
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    7,151

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    This isn't one of mine so don't holler at me. I just thought it might give a few grins....



    http://cheezburger.com/Asset/View/5463531776


    That was good, but it was just like you to post it.

    The good old days, when you had 6 members on a rig!!!
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  16. #856
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Betwixt here and there.
    Posts
    3,455

    Default

    Hmmmm... I'm gettin' an idea. *evil chuckle*

    http://cheezburger.com/View/5505321216

  17. #857
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,828

    Default

    Remember your algebra?
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  18. #858
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,828

    Talking Colonel Sanders

    My teacher asked what my favorite animal was and I said, "Fried chicken."
    She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right because everyone else laughed.

    My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

    I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do too...especially chicken, pork and beef.

    Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

    The next day in class, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.

    I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

    She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again.

    I don't understand.

    My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

    Today my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admire most.
    I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

    Guess where I am now??????

  19. #859
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
    Posts
    12,828

    Default

    Any takers?
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  20. #860
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Betwixt here and there.
    Posts
    3,455

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    Any takers?
    *stands waiting at door, arms crossed, tapping one foot*

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Funny Ad in FHM
    By DFW333 in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-27-2007, 10:08 AM
  2. Well I think its funny
    By protomkv in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-25-2004, 02:38 PM
  3. This is funny..do men really think this way?
    By JenniJ375 in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 04-22-2004, 09:55 PM
  4. Too Funny
    By MalahatTwo7 in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-10-2004, 05:25 PM
  5. Funny Pic
    By hickman1698 in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 12-19-2003, 10:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts