How many firefighters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four: one to change the bulb and three to chop a hole in the roof.
I have to post this before we loose electricty due to Sandy and obama.
Another squirllie pic for MS Cat.
This old man has a serious issue with chronic gas, releasing it indiscriminately and without regard for his wife.
One Thanksgiving morning, he blows another big one and she finally gets fed up and says, "One of these days, you're going to fart your guts out!" He just laughs and lets another one rip, then heads upstairs for a nap.
After he dozes off, the wife takes the guts she has removed from their Thanksgiving turkey, slips upstairs, and pours them out on the bed behind her sleeping husband's butt. She returns to the kitchen.
Soon the husband enters the room with a strange look on his face. "Honey, you remember how you said I would fart my guts out someday?"
"Yes," she says, barely able to suppress her laughter.
"Well, it happened," he says. He holds up his right index and middle fingers and says, "But between these two fingers and the good Lord, I put 'em back in."
Gross, right? I bet on "Chicago Fire" they'd pull the guts out of his butt.
ok - what is funny is this thread is STILL going!!!!!!!
He is another one for Ms Cat. Isn't this cute?
Some more squirllie photos.
Cap, ur nutz, u knoez that? :)
This is a great one!~! ;)
Another one of my squirlee photos..
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally... a smart blonde joke.
From the CFB Esquimalt "Lookout" newspaper (online version):
Still waiting for #4 to do "its thing."Quote:
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Roses are red and violets are blue, a bottle of vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.