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Thread: Just be funny!

  1. #101
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    Flying rats are just weird! {Or was somebody playing horseshoes New York style, with onion rings and pigeons? }
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:49 AM.

  2. #102
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    ICHC stuff
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:50 AM.

  3. #103
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    Yeah, yeah....go on and say it......
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  4. #104
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    Here is a few more
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    Not a "funny" but still a good image........
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  6. #106
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    Toldja squirrels are scary.........
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by firecat1 View Post
    Toldja squirrels are scary.........

    No kidding!
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  8. #108
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    Scary squirrel vs. flying rat........
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  9. #109
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    I think the flying rat needs to say it's prayers........
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  10. #110
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    Cool Cockatiels with a taste for intimate mutterings

    This story is a true story out of a women's magazine I read. The mag is not online, so I have to put it up myself instead of being able to put in a link. It is told from first hand in the mag. It's so funny it's worth sharing...

    Jeff's brazen birds are ruining his reputation. Glacing out of his kitchen window he see's his new neighbour Kerry. He opens the back door and asks her if she fancies coming in for a cuppa. As Kerry, 25 a sales assistant sits at the kitchen table one of the cockatiels is perched on the cooker eyeing her up. "Oooh..." The bird squawks loudly. "Sssexy lady!" The chap is mortified. "I'm so sorry, Kerry." He appologies. "She comes out with all sorts of nonsense." "I like it! Mmm..." The other cockatiels flies over to join in."That feels so good..." Then the bird lets out a rude four letter word. Kerry's face drops. "Excuse me." She gasps. "I think it's time I went home." She must have thought he was a dirty old man! He'd adopted the two female birds two months earlier from a young couple who were friends of his brother, Michael 40 a painter. The couple were splitting up and could no longer keep them. Jeff was a single teacher and lonely in his flat so he agreed to take them in. What a big mistake that was turning out to be! The previous week his friend Bob 54 a retired teacher he's known since school visited unannounced. Within minutes of him sitting down the birds began ruffling some feathers. "Oooh, that's it! More, more..." Pippa screeched. "Just there!" Bob sits there open mouthed as they turn the air blue. "They copied from their previous owners." Jeff splutters, awkwardly. "Not me!" Bob looks at him quizzically. "I see." He mumbles. Then the birds get going again. "Give me a good rub, ahhh." Snowy squeaks. "What a big, hard **** you've got..." Bob gulps down his tea. "Must dash." He says, racing out the front door. Sadly this is the last Jeff hears from him. The birds saucy chatter was funny at first, but now it is beyond a joke. It's embarrassing. Jeff daren't leave a window open in case any of the neighbours hear their lewd comments. "You'll get a reputation if you're not careful." His brother chuckles. If Jeff is in a different room to the birds it sound's like there is an x-rated porn film playing! It's even worse in the evenings when the curtains are drawn and theres just the table lamp on. Dimmed romantic lighting seems to trigger their sex talk! Sometimes they take it in turn to squawk "Yes, yes, yes!" for 10 minutes non stop. Many words they come out with are unprintable in a family magazine. They also make a lot of squeaking noises that sound like a bed creaking. Their old owners - Whose names he kept to himself - must have had one hell of a sex life! The worst episode to date was when a lady called at the door collecting for charity. He popped inside to get some loose change and the birds suddenly let rip. "Yeeeaaahhh! Mmm, don't stop... Yes, yes, yes!" Snowy and Pippa squealed, following it up with a string of filthy expletives. By the time her returned to the door with some coins the woman had vanished. She'd no doubt legged it in disgust... Now if someone knocks on the door he turns up the radio to drown out the birds foul banter. He's hoping to wean them off pillow talk by teaching them nursery rhymes. The vet said they will never forget their foul language, but by teaching them new words Jeff will at least be able to give them a wider repertoire! He loves those birds.
    Jeff Blount 44 Shropshire UK

    I feel sorry for him, but it is SO hilarious!
    It's not the destination, but the journey that matters.

    Stay safe

  11. #111
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    um...yeah......
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  12. #112
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    The squirrels are in on the fun......
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  13. #113
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    Default Nomination

    I nominate this as the best thread on firehouse.com
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    I am now a past chief and the views, opinions, and comments are mine and mine alone. I do not speak for any department or in any official capacity. Although, they would be smart to listen to me.

    "The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."

    "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."

  14. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiefKN View Post
    I nominate this as the best thread on firehouse.com

    I second that nomination. Chief, I love that last image in your posting!

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    Happy almost b-day to.......
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  16. #116
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    Okay theres no funny picture or anything, but try this joke on for size...

    Q) What do you get if you cross a policeman and a fireman?

    A) A guy who will arrest you for something daft you did when you were drunk, but can't remember and then he'll tell you it was just a joke!
    It's not the destination, but the journey that matters.

    Stay safe

  17. #117
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    Thank you, Ron White..................
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:51 AM.

  18. #118
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    IAFF

  19. #119
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    Ohhh, myyy!
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    IAFF

  20. #120
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    Who comes up with these?!
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:52 AM.

  21. #121

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    something i found online, made me chuckle.
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  22. #122
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    B@llsy critters, ain't they?
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:52 AM.

  23. #123
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    ...................ok fixed image now.................

    For you Curling fans.........
    Last edited by firecat1; 06-12-2009 at 09:52 AM.

  24. #124
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    cant.......help.......staring.......
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  25. #125
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    At the risk of getting banned
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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