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Thread: Just be funny!

  1. #176
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    IAFF

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    Red face

    The Ladies will like this:

    Why's of Men

    1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX
    (because they are plugged into a genius)
    ----------------------------------------------
    2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
    (they don't have enough time)
    -----------------------------------------------
    3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
    (they don't stop to ask directions)
    -----------------------------------------------
    4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
    (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
    -----------------------------------------------
    (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
    -----------------------------------------------
    5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
    (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
    ----------------------------------------------
    6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
    (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
    -----------------------------------------------
    7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
    (don't know.....it never happened)
    -----------------------------------------------
    ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
    -----------------------------------------------
    And the personal favorite:
    8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
    (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
    -----------------------------------------------
    Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
    -----------------------------------------------
    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
    'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
    'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
    He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
    And they say blondes are dumb....
    ---------------------------------------------
    A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

    The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
    -----------------------------------------------
    'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
    'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
    -----------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
    ------- ---------------------------------------
    Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
    ----------------------------------------------
    Q: Why do little boys whine?

    A: They are practicing to be men
    ----------------------------------------------
    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
    ----------------------------------------------
    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
    ----------------------------------------------

    Send this to at least five bright funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!


    Not my fault, one of my co-workers sent it to me!

  3. #178
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    Not a funny, just wanted to share..........
    Last edited by firecat1; 11-17-2009 at 11:48 AM.

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    ....................
    Last edited by firecat1; 11-17-2009 at 11:48 AM.

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Good find, Marcus. Too funny!
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

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    could use a little of that heat up here.....
    Last edited by firecat1; 11-17-2009 at 11:48 AM.

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    "...Meet new and interesting people and learn...."
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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    This is for for you guys! You know who you are
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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcusKspn View Post
    No different than a Combat Medic. He'll shoot at you till you hit one of "his", then he drops his "bang-stick" and becomes a medic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7 View Post
    No different than a Combat Medic. He'll shoot at you till you hit one of "his", then he drops his "bang-stick" and becomes a medic.
    I know, but its sweet irony non-the-less. Especially from a civilian point of view
    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    Umm.... yeah....
    Last edited by firecat1; 11-17-2009 at 11:48 AM.

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    Somebody didn't proof the cover art before it went to the printer.....
    Last edited by firecat1; 11-17-2009 at 11:48 AM.

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    ......................
    Last edited by firecat1; 11-17-2009 at 11:48 AM.

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    CAUTION! Deer Stalker Alert
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    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

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    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    EYE BLEACH! PLEASE, for the love of God, somebody get me some eye bleach!
    Last edited by firecat1; 11-17-2009 at 11:48 AM.

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    Ok. In "view" of that last one, this is totally "appropriate"..... Apparently it comes a from boat launching ramp in Hingham, Massachusetts. .....
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    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    This sums up my day:

    "Anywhere but here Spotted by: Nick Marchorst Location: Islay, Scotland"
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    Default Sums up my week so far

    . .
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    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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