Last one to post wins

[BULL321]

Since I'm winning, it's time for a late night snack.

[MalahatTwo7]

Since I'm winning, it's time for a late night snack.

Hope it was a good snack, cuz now you ain't no more.

[PaladinKnight]

Since I'm winning, it's time for a late night snack.

I was wondering... what is it like to have a key to the dunkin donut shop?

[MalahatTwo7]

I was wondering... what is it like to have a key to the dunkin donut shop?

Not quite as good as the key to Denny's. They have a better menu choice! heheheheheee

[MalahatTwo7]

One doesn't simply anoint oneself top dog

{or does one????- Malahat minds are enquiring}

By Adrian Chamberlain, Times Colonist March 18, 2010

Ever hear of the alpha dog concept? I hadn't, at least, not until we got Ollie the Pug.

The theory is that dogs believe their human families aren't people, but rather, packs of dogs. And within this dog/human pack, there is competition for the position of top dog. Or the alpha dog.

Writes one expert: "It is your responsibility to establish yourself in the alpha position. If you fail to do this, your dog will do it as a natural behaviour."

Naturally, I wanted to establish myself in the alpha dog position. The article suggested holding your pet's forepaws and staring into his eyes. If he struggles, you growl at him. So I grabbed Ollie, gazed into his eyes and growled.

He stopped squirming and ****ed his head in amazement. Ollie looked like that Jack Russell from the old RCA Victor ads. His attitude seemed to say, "What up, crazy man?"

At that moment, my wife walked in.

"What are you doing with Ollie?" she asked.

I got up from my knees.

"Nothing. Well ... actually I'm establishing my dominance. You know. Letting him know who's top dog in this family."

My wife laughed. This laughing went on for a long time. A length of time some would call ... unseemly.

"And since when did you become top dog in this family?" she said, wiping tears from her eyes.

She had a point. It's probably hard to believe, but in the Chamberlain household, I am not top dog. In fact, I'm quite possibly bottom dog. Although I hope and pray this is not true.

You see, my wife constantly tells me what to do. In addition, she writes out elaborate lists of tasks for me to complete each weekend. Surely, this is irrefutable evidence of top dog-dom.

It is true that I do not complete many of these assigned tasks. Some weekends, I do not complete any. Rather, I wander about the house and yard, doing random things that appeal to me. Once, instead of cleaning up the remains of a dead rat in our crawl-space, I bought a used beer fridge.

Nonetheless, the bottom line is that my wife, having achieved the dominant status of list-maker, is top dog. She is the alpha human, the honcho, el-supremo, the Schwarzenegger-ian governor of the state of Chamberlain. And, since my daughter assumes command of the TV remote, I suspect she is higher in the chain of command than me.

So you can understand my enthusiasm to establish dominance over Ollie, the new member of the family. Otherwise all would be lost.

Lately, however, even Ollie has taken to usurping my authority.

In the past, to the idle passerby, it must have appeared I was dragging our dog rather than walking him. Ollie would stop to sniff every dandelion or grass tuft, savouring eau de doggie. He'd stop to eat anything resembling food, whether petrified gum or congealing Slurpee in a discarded paper cup.

But lately, Ollie has started dragging me around. He presses ahead powerfully, like a bulldog, wiggling his bottom purposefully. When I suggest we take a side road, he regards me disdainfully. His expression says, "Ah, the presumption that you are in charge -- while tiresome -- rather amuses me." Then he drags me to the park. Which is where he always wants to go.

It may seem ridiculous for a grown man to be pulled around by a pug. But remember, Ollie weighs 25 pounds. And he's pretty muscle-bound for a little guy.

So I've returned to that alpha dog exercise which involves staring into his eyes and growling. Ollie seems mostly bored when I do this. No tangible signs of doggie submission yet. Still, I am hopeful.

- Read the Adventures with Ollie blog at timescolonist.com/ollie

achamberlain@tc.canwest.com

© Copyright (c) The Victoria Times Colonist

[CaptOldTimer]

Wow what a day yesterday was. Green or not the beer was good!!!

[mtg55]

It hurts.....ugh

[RS1606]

think im wining

[CaptOldTimer]

I feel good, because I am!!!

[RS1606]

I feel good, because I am!!!

sure about that?

[pasobuff]

lol.....I was 'good' yesterday......wait......there ~was~ the new supply of wine at the house......hmmmm......

oh - back in the lead :-)

[MalahatTwo7]

lol.....I was 'good' yesterday......wait......there ~was~ the new supply of wine at the house......hmmmm......

oh - back in the lead :-)

You are? When? heheheheehe

[RS1606]

not now.

[firecat1]

I think I'll just take my rightful place in the lead.

[RS1606]

not for to long friend

[CaptOldTimer]

Yes I feel, just ask someone!!!

[RS1606]

i'll ask you then

[MalahatTwo7]

i'll ask you then

What? Why are you behind me?

[cheffie]

What? Why are you behind me?

Since I don't see anyone behind you, I am going to go play with my ball and see how many crunches I can do with it.






That would be my exercise ball.

[CaptOldTimer]

Now you are behind me!!!


Btw,

Yesteday, I made a nice corn beef brisket with cabbage, potatoes, carrots, Irish soda bread and stuffed me self last night. Have some left over's for another meal!