1. #1
    Banned

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    8,677

    Default Only in America!!!

    Spread the Stupidity

    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    ________________________________________


    Only in America .......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America .....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America ...........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    ________________________________________

    EVER WONDER ...
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    ________________________________________

    Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    ________________________________________

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
    ________________________________________

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    ________________________________________

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
    ________________________________________

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
    ________________________________________

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    ________________________________________

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
    ________________________________________

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    ________________________________________

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    ________________________________________

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    ________________________________________

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
    ________________________________________

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    ________________________________________

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    ________________________________________

    I like this one!!!
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    ________________________________________

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  2. #2
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    291

    Default

    Thanks for my morning laugh. I kind of needed it.

  3. #3
    Forum Member
    DeputyChiefGonzo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2000
    Location
    Somewhere between genius and insanity!
    Posts
    13,584

    Default

    Please give proper credit to the original author, as we all know you do not have the intelligence to come up with that on your own.

    My guess is it came from Reader's Digest.
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
    Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

  4. #4
    Banned

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    8,677

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainGonzo View Post
    Please give proper credit to the original author, as we all know you do not have the intelligence to come up with that on your own.

    My guess is it came from Reader's Digest.
    Nope came from an email. author unknown.

    They did leave off a couple of my favorites

    Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

    Why do they put expiration dates on sour cream?

  5. #5
    Forum Member
    len1582's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    N.J.
    Posts
    1,392

    Default

    Here's what I've wondered...

    Why is there an expiration date on bottled water? What happens, does it turn back into a glacier??

    And how come there are asteriods in the hemisphere and hemorroids on your arse?

  6. #6
    Forum Member
    firecat1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Betwixt here and there.
    Posts
    3,479

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by len1582 View Post
    And how come there are asteriods in the hemisphere and hemorroids on your arse?
    Funny! Silly, but funny.

  7. #7
    Forum Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Memphis Tn,USA-now
    Posts
    5,436

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ScareCrow57 View Post

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    ________________________________________

    I'm really not wanting to know how he learned that.
    Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

  8. #8
    Forum Member
    gamewell35's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    237

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainGonzo View Post
    Please give proper credit to the original author, as we all know you do not have the intelligence to come up with that on your own.

    My guess is it came from Reader's Digest.
    Didn't they go out of business last year?
    "Did you check under the bed?" -- Judge Crater, 1930

  9. #9
    Forum Member
    DeputyChiefGonzo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2000
    Location
    Somewhere between genius and insanity!
    Posts
    13,584

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gamewell35 View Post
    Didn't they go out of business last year?
    There are still plenty of copies in libraries and doctor's offices.
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
    Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

  10. #10
    Forum Member
    Frmboybuck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Cornfields
    Posts
    524

    Default

    Why are MUTTS allowed to post in a firefighting forum???
    Buck
    Assistant Chief/EMT-B

  11. #11
    Forum Member
    CaptOldTimer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    7,243

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ScareCrow57 View Post
    Spread the Stupidity

    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    ________________________________________


    Only in America .......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America .....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America ...........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
    ________________________________________

    Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    ________________________________________

    EVER WONDER ...
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    ________________________________________

    Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    ________________________________________

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
    ________________________________________

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    ________________________________________

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
    ________________________________________

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
    ________________________________________

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    ________________________________________

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
    ________________________________________

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    ________________________________________

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    ________________________________________

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    ________________________________________

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
    ________________________________________

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    ________________________________________

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    ________________________________________

    I like this one!!!
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    ________________________________________

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?



    Why are you still here?

    Why are you so dumb?

    When do you work? IF YOU DO!

    Why?

    Why?

    Why?
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. More liberal traitors helping to embolden the enemy
    By scfire86 in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 10-17-2007, 12:41 PM
  2. Dear America
    By BFDNJFF in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-19-2006, 05:28 PM
  3. Top 10 Reasons John Kerry is Out of Touch with America
    By Firefighter1219 in forum The Off Duty Forums
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-06-2004, 12:08 PM
  4. Thought this was a nice sum up of all the hatred twords the US...
    By Ladder 29-51 in forum The 9-11 Tragedy
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-09-2003, 05:27 PM
  5. Is America going to be nuked now??
    By Michelle Latham in forum Firefighters Forum
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 09-18-2001, 08:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Log in

Click here to log in or register