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  1. #1
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    Default Only in America!!!

    Spread the Stupidity

    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    ______________________________ __________


    Only in America .......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America .....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America ...........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    ______________________________ __________

    EVER WONDER ...
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    ______________________________ __________

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
    ______________________________ __________

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    ______________________________ __________

    I like this one!!!
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    ______________________________ __________

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


  2. #2
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    Default

    Thanks for my morning laugh. I kind of needed it.

  3. #3
    Forum Member DeputyChiefGonzo's Avatar
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    Default

    Please give proper credit to the original author, as we all know you do not have the intelligence to come up with that on your own.

    My guess is it came from Reader's Digest.
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
    Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainGonzo View Post
    Please give proper credit to the original author, as we all know you do not have the intelligence to come up with that on your own.

    My guess is it came from Reader's Digest.
    Nope came from an email. author unknown.

    They did leave off a couple of my favorites

    Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

    Why do they put expiration dates on sour cream?

  5. #5
    Forum Member len1582's Avatar
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    Default

    Here's what I've wondered...

    Why is there an expiration date on bottled water? What happens, does it turn back into a glacier??

    And how come there are asteriods in the hemisphere and hemorroids on your arse?

  6. #6
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by len1582 View Post
    And how come there are asteriods in the hemisphere and hemorroids on your arse?
    Funny! Silly, but funny.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScareCrow57 View Post

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    ______________________________ __________

    I'm really not wanting to know how he learned that.
    Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

  8. #8
    Forum Member gamewell35's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainGonzo View Post
    Please give proper credit to the original author, as we all know you do not have the intelligence to come up with that on your own.

    My guess is it came from Reader's Digest.
    Didn't they go out of business last year?
    "Did you check under the bed?" -- Judge Crater, 1930

  9. #9
    Forum Member DeputyChiefGonzo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gamewell35 View Post
    Didn't they go out of business last year?
    There are still plenty of copies in libraries and doctor's offices.
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
    Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

  10. #10
    Forum Member Frmboybuck's Avatar
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    Why are MUTTS allowed to post in a firefighting forum???
    Buck
    Assistant Chief/EMT-B

  11. #11
    Forum Member CaptOldTimer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScareCrow57 View Post
    Spread the Stupidity

    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    ______________________________ __________


    Only in America .......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America .....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America ...........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
    ______________________________ __________

    Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    ______________________________ __________

    EVER WONDER ...
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    ______________________________ __________

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
    ______________________________ __________

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    ______________________________ __________

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    ______________________________ __________

    I like this one!!!
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    ______________________________ __________

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?



    Why are you still here?

    Why are you so dumb?

    When do you work? IF YOU DO!

    Why?

    Why?

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    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

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