Thread: Sage Advice

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    Default Sage Advice

    Heres a bit of advice, that while not directed towards the fire service, could stand us all in good stead.


    Old Farmer's Advice:

    Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

    Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

    Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

    A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor..

    Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

    Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

    Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

    Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

    It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

    You cannot unsay a cruel word.

    Every path has a few puddles.

    When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

    The best sermons are lived, not preached

    Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

    Don't judge folks by their relatives.

    Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

    Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

    Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

    Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

    If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

    Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

    The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

    Always drink upstream from the herd.

    Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

    Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

    If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..

    Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply..
    Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
    --
    Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
    he'll just kill you.

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    Thank you sir. They are certainly words to live by.
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

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    Reminds me of my Grandpa. Thanks Brother.
    Stay Safe
    Bull


    “Guys if you get hurt, we’ll help you. If you get sick we’ll treat you. If you want to bitch and moan, then all I can tell you is to flick the sand out of your slit, suck it up or get the hell out!”
    - Capt. Marc Cox CFD

    Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.
    -WINSTON CHURCHILL

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    And here I thought he meant:
    Attached Images Attached Images  

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    One of my favorites; Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you.

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    Words to live by. Thanks Bryan.

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?V=ZgyrWoD9-04

    This should be for more advice from Tim Wilson.It's "100 Things Every Man Should Know".

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    My wife is a wonderful person.

    She has been able to determine what is wrong with me:


    I am always wrong,

    She is always right,

    I don't know what is good for me,

    She knows what is best for me,

    I will never be correct,

    See above: She is always right,

    I cannot read a map,

    I don't know where I am going,

    I cannot keep track of time,

    I do not know good cusine,

    I cannot cook,

    She is a very good cook,

    I cannot clean,

    She needs a maid,

    I cannot budget her money,

    I don't make enough money,

    See above: She is always right,

    My feet stay too cold,

    I never listen,

    I talk too much,

    I don't know what I am talking about,

    Everything is my fault,

    It is my fault that childbirth is painful,

    See above: She is always right,

    I don't know what music is,

    I watch too much football,

    I watch too much TV,

    I am culturally challenged,

    I am always late,

    I am always early,

    I sleep too much,

    I don't sleep enough,

    I don't eat enough,

    I eat too much,

    See above: She is always right,

    I have too much stuff,

    I have to much time,

    I don't have enough time,

    I am not a mechanic,

    I am not a repairman,

    I should not try to fix electrical devices,

    I should not repair plumbing - especially the dishwasher,

    I never pay attention,

    I have lost my mind,

    See above: She is always right,

    And I am forgetful.

    --------------------------------------

    I think that is pretty much everything.

    I am glad she has taken the time to evaluate me.

    I was so lost when she found me and had no vision for my future.

    I was so lucky that she accepted me they way I was.

    I thought that I would share this since it is part of my on-going therapy that she forced me to enroll in to make me a better person.

    I feel so much better, but that is pending until she says so.

    What was the question?

    I was a little distracted for just a split second.
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

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    Bryan- Thank you for posting that.

    Paladin- You are quite witty sir. Thanks for the laugh.

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    Good one Bryan. I'm gonna frame it.
    I am now a past chief and the views, opinions, and comments are mine and mine alone. I do not speak for any department or in any official capacity. Although, they would be smart to listen to me.

    "The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."

    "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."

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    Paladin
    You've covered pretty nearly everything in a marriage. One addition: I always get the last 2 words in an arguement with the wife. " YES DEAR"

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    Quote Originally Posted by BryanLoader
    " YES DEAR"

    I'll put that in the next release. But that would run counter to standing instructions.

    These are her standard phrases:

    "Look at me when I'm talking to you."

    "Are you listening to me?

    "Did you hear me?"

    If I say "Yes Dear"

    She adds "You didn't hear anything that I said so just shut up."

    So "Yes Dear" is a little iffy on the list.
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaladinKnight View Post
    I'll put that in the next release. But that would run counter to standing instructions.

    These are her standard phrases:

    "Look at me when I'm talking to you."

    "Are you listening to me?

    "Did you hear me?"

    If I say "Yes Dear"

    She adds "You didn't hear anything that I said so just shut up."

    So "Yes Dear" is a little iffy on the list.

    Yes you're quite right. I forgot those little gems. Maybe its due to this
    "selective hearing" I keep getting accused of having.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BryanLoader View Post
    Paladin
    You've covered pretty nearly everything in a marriage. One addition: I always get the last 2 words in an arguement with the wife. " YES DEAR"
    Whenever I realized that she was right and I was wroe-wreew-,worng- that she was right,my ex always made me say "You're right,you're always right and you will always be right,Dear".
    At least she stopped making me do the "I love Lisa" dance because it creeped out her kids when they walked in on it in the livving room.

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    Quote Originally Posted by doughesson View Post
    because it creeped out her kids when they walked in on it in the livving room.
    I'm creeped out and I wasn't even there...


    One should not use the words dance, creeped and kids in one sentence.

    In a living room? Have you no shame man?

    The garage... but not the living room!
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

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    It's posted on youtube.Her daughter had the camcorder and used it for blackmail purposes.Travolta had nothing on me that night."Ah,Ah,Ah.Stayin' aliiiiiiive!"
    Quote Originally Posted by PaladinKnight View Post
    I'm creeped out and I wasn't even there...

    One should not use the words dance, creeped and kids in one sentence.

    In a living room? Have you no shame man?

    The garage... but not the living room!

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    Default More Sage Advice

    "I had a crazy Uncle who was on his deathbed a long time ago and he told me "Boy,come over here.There's a hunnerd things every man needs to know in this world to survive and here's 39 of 'em:
    A virgin never drives a Z-28,
    never bet the ranch on your prostate,
    if it's got an Adam's apple,it's probably a man,
    never trust a gay Gypsy with the palm of your hand,
    she didn't accidently get good in bed,
    you can't join the Church if you're already dead,
    A work uniform ain't totally nude
    bream and bass ain't seafood,
    When there's guns in the house one better be yours,
    don't be nekkid next to any fishin' lures,
    if there's Girl Scout cookies,she's a little too young,
    if you say "I do",it'll be the ugly one,
    don't ever let a bald man borrow your comb,
    never play strip poker in a nursing home,
    don't blame your pall bearers cause they don't show if you're buried in the middle of the Super Bowl,
    Let people borrow money,they'll leave you alone,
    never fry bacon without a shirt on,
    never spray water on a hornet's nest,
    a woman rarely aces the driver's test,
    the sign prob'ly don't really mean massage,
    never threaten anybody in camouflage,
    say you love her til she lays down the butcher knife,
    never put your moves on the boss' wife,
    she's messin' around on ya if yer briefs don't fit,
    never trust a hitchhiker to babysit,
    Cosmo's never in a happy home,
    you can't cut a deal with a kidney stone,
    a politician ain't got an HMO,
    washin' her hair means she don't wanna go,
    don't ridicule a biker about his tattoo,
    if you been married nine times,Hell maybe it's you,
    Doom ain't the same as Donkey Kong,
    if he's wearing high heels,you might have raised him wrong,
    the clinic ain't the best place to pick up dates,
    don't rent a room from a man named Bates,
    a tank top's never on a billionaire,
    Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there,
    how many get to Heaven,no one knows but Hell'll be a.s.s.es and elbows.
    And then he died.
    Crazy fool rolled over and died,and never did tell me those other 61 things.
    So if anybody out there knows,how about gettin' a hold of me at timwilson.net?"

    Tim Wilson from his "Gettin' My Mind Right"cd
    (and it's even funnier when you type it all into that "Bonzi bear" website.Doug)
    Last edited by doughesson; 03-02-2010 at 02:35 PM.

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    Talking

    Two that I always remember.
    If your out huntin with friends and get chased by a bear, just make sure your faster than your slowest friend.
    And if you walk over to pee by the fence row, make shure there's not an electric fence wire in the weeds.

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