1. #1
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    Default No Nursing Home For Me (Too Good to Waste on Joke thread)

    No nursing home for me

    There will be no nursing home in my future.........
    When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.
    The
    average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on
    reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior
    discount price starting @ $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
    1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
    2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
    restaurant, or I can have room service ( which means I can have
    breakfast in bed every day of the week).
    3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
    washers and dryers, and shows every night.
    4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
    5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra
    $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
    6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
    7. TV. broken? Light bulb need hanging? Need to have mattress replaced?
    No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
    inconvenience.
    8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask
    for them.
    9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare.
    If you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade
    you to a suite for the rest of your life.
    10. Frequent opportunity to shoot clay pigeons off the fantail if one
    can still hoist the shotgun; nice guns too.

    Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the
    Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you
    want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for
    me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship. I'll email you my number
    after I board.
    I'll be on the upper-deck by the pool with Margarita.

    P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side
    at no charge.

    THE ONLY WAY TO GO!!

    For Reservations: 1-800-421-0522


    For a sailor guy like me, this sounds perty darn good!

  2. #2
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    firecat1's Avatar
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    Default

    THAT sounds like a plan!!!

  3. #3
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    Well Nursing Homes charge that much because that is what the government says they should get. Take away government subsidies and the cost will drop; this is proof.

  4. #4
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    Default

    And I thought I had a good deal in Uncle's yacht club:Three hots and a cot but no guarantees I'd ever see either.Payday every two weeks,liberty whenever the work was all done.
    That and I had to salute officers but you can't have everything.

  5. #5
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ScareCrow57 View Post
    Well Nursing Homes charge that much because that is what the government says they should get. Take away government subsidies and the cost will drop; this is proof.
    Great. Now even the jokes are getting politicized. Just laugh and go on with your life.
    I am more than just a serious basketball fan. I am a life-long addict. I was addicted from birth, in fact, because I was born in Kentucky.
    ― Hunter S. Thompson

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