Stimulus Check Humor

[len1582]

STIMULUS CHECK 2010

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
Spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .


* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .


* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
To management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
Sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help...

[Acklan]

There are ssooooo many levels you are wrong on, but I like it. Carry on.

[ChiefKN]

This thread is why I come here...

Screw my accountant, he doesn't know jack!

[len1582]

There are ssooooo many levels you are wrong on, but I like it. Carry on.

It's meant to be humorous... Kind of like satire.

[Acklan]

It's meant to be humorous... Kind of like satire.

I get it! It is great.

[Blulakr]

Ball games, tattoos, postitutes, beer and yard sales. I got 3 of 'em covered.

[len1582]

Ball games, tattoos, postitutes, beer and yard sales. I got 3 of 'em covered.

...and the weekend's not over yet !!

[ScareCrow57]

Ball games, tattoos, postitutes, beer and yard sales. I got 3 of 'em covered.

Guess you don't like Ball Games and Yard Sales

[FIREMECH1]

Dang it Blulakr, I told you he would notice his girl missing.

[CaptOldTimer]

This thread is why I come here...

Screw my accountant, he doesn't know jack!

I bet he knows crowbar!!!

[hwoods]

Financial advice without the Disclaimer.........

[firecat1]

*disregard---wrong thread*

[doughesson]

Ball games, tattoos, postitutes, beer and yard sales. I got 3 of 'em covered.

Alcohol,tobacco,firearms and explosives make up my usual weekend shopping list.

[doughesson]

It's meant to be humorous... Kind of like satire.

"Oh,humor.Are,are,are,are!"
It's a 70s thing.You wouldn't understand.

[len1582]

"Oh,humor.Are,are,are,are!"
It's a 70s thing.You wouldn't understand.

The 70's....I remember that day.

[doughesson]

The 70's....I remember that day.

Nanoo,nanno.
(Seriously,with the hair and most of the music,WTF were people thinking?)