I get it man. I really do. Happy wife happy life. All I can say is do what you want to do. There is no career better then this one and I will argue that with anyone. The schedule for the most part is cake. If it's like most places it's 1 day on and 3 off for the most part. How can u beat that. And IT IS NOT AS DANGEROUS AS PEOPLE THINK. Can it be, of course at times. But it is no where near the most dangerous career you can have. If I were you, I would educate my wife on the job itself and show her what it's all about. Make her understand. Also, like someone on this post said, the hardest part now is getting a job. That's the biggest ting now. The fire service is at a very low point respectfully and places are looking for that to cut.
Anyway, that is what you should do. I understand there was a death involved of someone that she knew but deaths are few and far between. Play the odds. The job is amazing, the pay is good, the benefits are good, and the schedule for the most part is comical. All the ingridients for a good life.
If for some amazing way you have the opportunity to get hired and turn it down, I will have to beat you up. HaHaHa. Just joking. But seriously man, don't blow this
Good Advice So Far
Luckily for me my brother is a firefighter so my wife got a ton of advice from my sister in law (brother had been working for 18 years prior to me joining). The issues that she (my wife) faced was a drastic cut in pay, and then she was worried about the job (danger aspect). The positives were that she saw the time my brother spent with his kids, and how much vacation time they had. I was able to show her we could still make ends meet financially, and danger wise my sister-in-law talked with her about the realities of the job and what it was like being at home alone and dealing with worry and also being counted on to run the family and house while he was at work. In the end it worked out and she was okay with me joining, and supported me more than I ever could have hoped for both while I was trying to get a job and then while I went through the academy and probation.
Look, at the end of the day marriage is a partnership. You two obviously have some things figured out, I don't care which branch/which job you have, having 2 people married and in the service has got to be challenging. You guys both have to talk about where each is coming from. You want to have a rewarding career. Is firefighting the "end all be all" for you? Is the danger aspect the only objection that she has? I will say (and others have said before) that if she isn't supportive the chances of either your dream or your marriage succeeding is slim to none. We had a guy who was from out of state go through our academy. He left his wife and kids behind because he didn't want to move them up here until he was done with probation. Come to find out later that she didn't want him to be a firefighter, and didn't want to move out of state. There were some other issues going on, but he ended up being fired, and a few months later they split. Now the guy is divorced, and because he was fired he possibly will never be a firefighter. Not a great position to be in.
One thought, what about switching jobs in the Airforce to be a firefighter? Not sure what your time horizon is with the service, but that could be a middle ground that gives you some experience and allows her to see some aspects of the job. If you pm me I'd be happy to pass along my wife's email address so your wife could answer any questions (I am sure others here would offer the same). What part of the country are you in? We are near McChord AFB in case you happen to be here too.
Keep talking it out, seek the council of people you trust, and maybe work your network of friends and find a couple already in the fire service to speak with. At the end of the day I think there are few careers more family friendly. Both of us will never look back at how our life was pre-fire department. She loves that I am home with the kids, and during the summer we have a ton of time home together. We not only strengthened our family but we gained a new one as well.
Hope this helps.