Okay. Okay. That's enough. I've had it with stupid names for vehicle rescue jobs.
I spent today browsing a website that is touted as having all the extrication information you would ever need to know in one spot. I'm told I should visit it daily just to be in the know. So I thought, well, I better see what all the fuss is about. Click, click, click I went for several hours.
What sort of tripped my trigger was the series of video instructors (actually one was the most obnoxious) describing vehicle rescue evolutions that we all do routinely with stupid names instead of calling them what they really are.
What I saw in video after video were rescue tasks being demonstrated that we all are already familiar with; opening a door at the hinges, removing a door at the hinges, removing a B-pillar, removing both side doors with the B-pillar, etc, etc. So I thought that up until now, if you are pushing or spreading something at a car crash, you would say that you are pushing or spreading. In my rescue training classes, if you are lifting something, then you say you are lifting something. But I guess I'm just behind the times because I came away with the feeling that to be a video instructor, you have to come up with a different name for the every task that we already know by its real name. You have to invent a name just so you can say you invented something I guess.
Here's my top five most stupid rescue task names and a description of what they really are.....
The Florida Floor Jack: You have got to be kidding! The instructor says that one of the advantages of giving every task a unique name is that everyone knows what you are talking about at the crash. Yeah, right!
This evolution is a roof-resting 4-door car, where they do a total sidewall removal, cut the front frame rail and the A-pillar, and basically lift the floorpan and frame of the vehicle upwards while pushing the roof towards the ground. Now how that becomes something that is called a floor jack evolution in Florida beats the crap out of me.
Da Swede Slide; Another really stupid name. You have a car with head-on crash damage and a front seat occupant trapped. Instead of rolling a dash from alongside the outside of the patient, you put the ram in between the two front seats and push the instrument panel and all that stuff forward. Now, in my University of Extrication class, I would assign that job to a crew by saying, "take a long ram and push the center of the instrument panel forward, off the simulated trapped patient. Understand?" Guess I can't do that any more. Nope. Now, it's Da Swede Slide. Gimme me a break.
Cross Ramming: Really? Cross ramming is a really inaccurate name for a side collision situation where you use a ram placed from the center of one B-pillar to the center of the other B-pillar to widen the car back out. There is nothing crossed about it so how does that even come into the picture. In my class that task would just be assigned as "widen the B-pillars from pillar to pillar with a long ram." Sorry, I'm just not into misleading names.
Oyster Cracker: My favorite idiotic name for another one of our simply routine rescue jobs. According to the video instructor, this is the name that is used on the scene in his area. Oh yeah? I can hear it now. "Chief, this guy is really trapped in his car, upside down, with two jammed doors on the same side. What do you think we should do?" "Well, I'd say we need to do the good ol' Oyster Cracker". Hey Chief. Here's a tip from Ron. If that doesn't work, why don't you give the guy a floor jack? How stupid.
Perform a total sidewall removal on the roof-resting, 4-door car and then lift the car upward if that's what you want to do. Forget the seafood. We'll eat later. I wouldn't even do this evolution if it were me and I really don't see the value in this at all but I'm not into oysters either.
A-Pillar Takedown: Again, what? Don't you mean just cutting the A-pillar of a car near the underside of the dash and then a second cut low near the floorpan/rocker and totally removing it? Yeah it might give you access to use your fancy little hydraulic pedal cutter tool to cut the brake pedal shaft but so would jacking or rolling the dash. Guess I don't sell rescue tools though so my solution is too simple.
Anyway, what ones am I missing? There has to be more stupid names for routine jobs out there. Enlighten me... Oh, and take the poll too!
View Poll Results: Most Stupid Name for a Vehicle Rescue Task?
- 21. You may not vote on this poll
Da Swede Slide
Florida Floor Jack
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 18 of 18
11-02-2010, 11:16 PM #1
Sick & Tired of Stupid Names! How About You?
Last edited by rmoore; 11-02-2010 at 11:24 PM.
11-03-2010, 06:39 AM #2
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
What was the website called? I would like to have a look
11-03-2010, 09:38 AM #3
That's about the Nut of it. Just like all the cute lil monikers in Nims. Just PLAIN English please and what you would like me to accomplish. KISS. Just that easy. Am I off the hook yet? Hehe T.C.
Last edited by rmoore; 11-03-2010 at 11:07 PM.
11-03-2010, 03:01 PM #4
Chief, you are viewing this in the wrong light and missing the opportunity of a lifetime. Here is your chance to name some extrication techniques yourself.
Take these new extrication techniques names and come up with a method for each, I’ll start you in the right direction.
A-Post Molester: (Has to do with a simple A-post removal, but where does it go from there? I know, do you?)
Prom Night Regret: (Deals with switching tactics from cutting to spreading)
Dirty Sanchez: (Tool placement issue)
Richard Simmons: (Simple door pop, done with flare)~Drew
11-03-2010, 10:17 PM #5
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
They come up with the "cool" names because that is all they have. Vehical extrication just like everything in the fire service has to be re-invented. Why you might ask. How else are you going to become the next nationally reconginzed teacher. Marketing at it finest. Most every type of situation in vehical extrication just like in firefigthing is basic tasks. In order to make it sound harder then it really is we add names to it.
Think about it for a min.
How many times have you had the exact same situation in training as you do in real life. I know i haven't, unless it is after the fact. To me the part were training comes in to play is learning how the tools react and operate and how the car is going to react. Then on a call I can take that experience and apply it to the situation
You always have to remember that this is good old fashion blue collar work. Nothing fancy just using tools to achompilish a task.
I think next time I cut a 2x4 with a circular saw I am going to call it the cellulose rip!!
11-03-2010, 10:23 PM #6
- Join Date
- Jul 2001
- Not the end of the earth but I can see it from here...
Don't forget the Noah's Ark....Chief Dwayne LeBlanc
Paincourtville Volunteer Fire Department
"I have a dream. It's not a big dream, it's just a little dream. My dream — and I hope you don't find this too crazy — is that I would like the people of this community to feel that if, God forbid, there were a fire, calling the fire department would actually be a wise thing to do. You can't have people, if their houses are burning down, saying, 'Whatever you do, don't call the fire department!' That would be bad."
— C.D. Bales, "Roxanne"
11-03-2010, 11:02 PM #7Even the burger-flippers at McDonald's probably have some McWackers.
11-04-2010, 04:38 AM #8
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
what site are these videos on please
11-04-2010, 03:10 PM #9
If we get hung up on gathering a group of skills into one evolution and then giving it a name, then people only know the evolution as a whole, not its component skills. They won't know what to do when they face a situation that doesn't fit perfectly with the cutesie name.
They need to know the fundamentals of the tools and vehicles far worse than they need to know the "Sliding Trapeze Landmine" or the "Gomer Pyle Alignment".
Last edited by EastKyFF; 11-05-2010 at 12:31 PM."Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”
--General James Mattis, USMC
11-14-2010, 08:10 AM #10
- Join Date
- Mar 2003
- Wilmington, Vt.
Ron, good Post!!!
Common Sense always worked/works for us. (OOPS!!! did I say two bad words??)
11-22-2010, 02:27 PM #11
Sorry to tune in late, just checking out these threads and posts.
Seems to me unless this is all standardized in your locality, county or any other departments you work with it would cause more confusion than anything. Also depending on where your members get trained at. If someone goes to a state academy and someone else takes it through a rescue squad and yet another from a city department and everyone of them makes up their own names no one is going to know what is going on. Might not be the same for a city department which trains all their members but I am not there yet so just looking at it from a rural stand point. Did get some good laughs out of it though.
11-29-2010, 10:11 AM #12"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”
--General James Mattis, USMC
12-03-2010, 06:55 AM #13
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
- Central Illinois
Does it really matter what we call it , as long as the technique works?
12-03-2010, 08:05 AM #14"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.”
--General James Mattis, USMC
12-04-2010, 09:58 PM #15
"It really does matter" seems to be the most common theme of the replies to this thread and that is the reasonable and prudent answer to this issue.
If you don't think so then try this. Next time you and I both show up to an extrication training program, let's gather two teams and tell them that we need them to help each of us with a rescue task. The challenge is we are not allowed to be with them while they work; just tell them what they need to do.
For the guys that come assigned to me, I'll tell them that they have to remove both doors and the B-pillar on one side of a roof-resting vehicle.
Since it doesn't matter, you will only be allowed to tell your guys that they have to go over to the vehicle and do an Oyster Cracker.
Let's see what the results are!
12-05-2010, 09:04 AM #16
I am sure you'd get a colorful response if you told one of our guys to do an "Oyster cracker". It would probably involve a discussion about doing a rear-end head extraction, or as we call it, a "noggin butt-outski".
I'm with you on this one. Just stupid.I am now a past chief and the views, opinions, and comments are mine and mine alone. I do not speak for any department or in any official capacity. Although, they would be smart to listen to me.
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."
"When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."
01-09-2011, 01:45 PM #17
02-13-2011, 09:43 AM #18
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
“For the guys that come assigned to me, I'll tell them that they have to remove both doors and the B-pillar on one side of a roof-resting vehicle.” Do really have to tell the guys assigned to you how to do their jobs. This thread is while a waste of time, I am sorry to step in to it so late. Thank god for slow days huh guys. I do agree in extrication we do have stupid names for procedures and evolutions. I if you look at our field as a whole we have stupid names and acronyms for everything. If your crew arrives and “oh we need to do the Florida Floor Jack” We should be looking at a bigger picture and just go with we need to access and free this trapped patient. If they need the stupid name to remind them how to do their assigned task, thank god we have that stupid name.
Granted Ron you did find some great stupid names:
As a patient would I never want to hear any name with the work cracker in it… probably not.
A pillar take down - I can see this one “take down the a pillar so we can access the foot well” starts to sound much like "take a long ram and push the center of the instrument panel forward, off the simulated trapped patient.” Hmmm on ron’s list but starts to sound like a quick version of Ron taking his crew threw their job step by step.
In NJ I have dealt with several departments cross ramming seems to be a wide spread term for spreading across the vehicle in this region.
Da Swede slide – ok maybe the Swede slide would be more proper English but technique from Sweden that slides the dash back forward. Ron has been involved with TERC I don’t know about the rest of you guys but when it comes to vehicle rescue the Swedes seem to be pushing the way into the future. “Using a established technique, but performing and naming it with some wacky name.... calling it their own... lol” giving credit where credit is due as the name can be worked on as educators using proper English can be the way to go, show that we really are well educated in this field.
I think these “stupid names” are designed to help students retain the skill being new in the rescue world only about 12 years in the field still a Rookie, Probie, or FNG in the experience of some of the people posting here. The all of our services have much larger problems from local to national issues. Are names really that big I understand the risk of miscommunication; this risk is exactly why we should be drilling with our neighbors. If we are so a so afraid that a different name for an evolution is going to cause problems can you imagine the disaster when we are using my Holmatro tools in place of their Hurst. Remember we are their to serve our trapped patient, Making comments over issues like these happen between regular staff as a matter of firehouse drama, but When instructors / Editors like Ron Moore make comments that one can view it as his opinion as well as the publication he writes for and his comments hopefully was not to speak negatively on another publication or instructor. One of the jobs of officers an especially a chief is to help steer away from this kind of petty stuff. It goes hand in hand with the respect of your title. No matter the evolution name given by an agency the main point is everybody goes home, if it is a safe technique that accomplishes our goal WE WIN.
Wow that was a long rant now I need a ladder truck or maybe a stick to get down from this soap box. So what it is important to remember if you call it a submarine, grinder, or a hoagie it is still a sandwich and if you cant figure how to eat because of a different name, then you deserve to starve.
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