Thread: Pathetic....

  1. #1
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    Default Pathetic....

    5000 views on a thread about missing riding tailboard? Yet a Brother dies this week and 7 post's. I remember back in the day there would be over 300, 500 post's. I guess only a few true Brothers left on this site.
    FTM PTB RFB

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    Couple of thoughts come to mind...

    1. The tailboard thread is a decade old! I would expect 5000 views in 10 years.

    2. Why am I not a brother because I don't post condolences for every LODD that occurs?

    3. Do you respond to every LODD posting that occurs?
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    After the near war that transpired here following the Chicago LODDs, it's no wonder.
    Opinions my own. Standard disclaimers apply.

    Everyone goes home. Safety begins with you.

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    I guess only a few true Brothers left on this site.
    Oh yeah, and your whole long month and 4 posts gives you insider knowledge the rest of us are missing....
    Relax there backdraft. Stick around awhile and do a little reading. What you will find is not everyone posts condolences. But there is another site that these incidents are reviewed and discussed in a civil and educated manor so that we may all learn.
    My posts reflect my views and opinions, not the organization I work for or my IAFF local. Some of which they may not agree. I.A.C.O.J. member
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    because posting "RIP" or something else in an LODD thread really is a giant act of brotherhood.

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    The OP has at least one pager and a leather helmet.
    Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

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    I like peppers. But I LOOOVE anchovies. 'Cause they're real fishy. Y'know, sometimes I like to get a pizza with nothin' on it but anchovies. No peppers, olives or onions, just anchovies. 'Cause they're good.
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    Anchovie calzone rocks da house..

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    NO anchovies please,hehe T.C.

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    The creature in the sky got sucked into a hole now there's a hole in the sky and the ground's not cold and if the ground's not cold, everything is gonna burn we'll all take turns I'll get mine too
    Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

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    Default oooh, me three!

    here are some fine words of wisdom and possibly encouragement for all of you that may have experienced swampbutt, smelly finger (from itchy behind the night before of course) or other assorted unpleasantries.

    Arse cleaning tips:


    I have mastered the art of cleaning my stool hall and I want to share it with you losers who simply lather your wash cloth with some soap and do a quick reach around..THAT WILL NOT CLEAN YOUR ARSE!!!! You need to spend at least 5 minutes in that area to have maximun cleanage. You think it's clean but it is NOT!!! Here are some tips:

    Tip 1: After dropping the fecal children off at the pool, you can either use some babywipes (my personal favorite) or you can use a technique I learned from an ex-girlfriend of mine, you wet the toilet paper and proceed to wipe front-to-back, NOT back-to-front. You risk sliding some of the grease beneath your ball sack which creates another problem. This only applies to those who do not get what is called a perfect excrement session aka.."A Clean Break" to where the ca-ca breaks off completely and all you have to do is wipe the water off your gluteus after the initial plop.

    Tip 2: Shave the hair off around your rectal, nuts and butt crack. This is just common knowledge, if you dont you risk piling up a weeks worth of dingleberries and in rare occasions, creation of poop-dreadlocks to where the ca-ca firmly laminates itself to the ace hair and it twists together as you walk. This is more likely to happen to those who wear boxers because of the free "airflow" and those who dont shower often because you give the poop time to dry up like cement.

    Tip 3: Jump into a public pool or spa. This is just as effective as a shower or even better because you get maximum "soakage" and it requires less work such and combats lazy reach arounds in the shower. Believe it or not, that is the only useful purpose for public pools, I think of them as gigantic bathtubs that goggle up loose ace hairs, dingleberries and makes a great place to take a quick pee. If I find myself in that situation, I just jump in the pool on one end, pee then swim to the other end, do a couple quick 360's under water then jump out the shallow side and dry off.

    Tip 4: Go to the beach and be a good samaritan, jump into the ocean and "feed the fish", fish LOVE dung, I have 2 goldfish and they are always sucking eachothers doo-doo holes. Get a nice, salty ace treatment. For those of you who gets bumps after shaving your pubes or ace, this is a great to dry those up. Just simply go out past the waves a bit, however, dont be too obvious if you are going to release some bait into the ocean. Flop around a bit, move around because if you sit still people will become suspicious and besides the poop might float up to the surface quickly. Fish will love you for it!

    Tip 5: Woman love to get manicures and pedicures, I call this the "assicure" It has a meaningful name *** I Cure, it's self explanitory..yes, it is up to you to cure that hideous arse smell and here is how you do it in the shower. Pamper yourself, get the water luke warm and try to get the shower nozzle to propel the water quickly. Begin by turning in the opposite direction of the shower, about 180 degrees to where the nozzle in shooting directly down your arse crack. Position yourself at a 90 degree angle, butt up nice and high, reach around and spread your butt cheeks and let the water do its magic. The object is to really clean out the crevices of your brown eye, wedged up about a 1/4 inch of the butthole is some fecal matter that masks itself like a bat in a cave. This will allow the water to loosen it up for the wash cloth lathering. The next step is to lather your wash cloth with some bodywash or soap bar. Reach around and scrub it good, go ahead and wrap the towel around a finger of choice (i use my index finger) and put that finger up your buttocks and move it around in a circular motion. Go ahead and scrub nice and good up the butt crack to make sure you get all the grease. After you are done, rinse well then repeat step 1.



    That is all for now party people, hope this hass been insightful. I would love some feedback from possible success stories.

    Please read some of them now.

    " I would like to thank you for your ace cleaning tips, it has changed my life.

    "Wow, my arse has never been cleaner. I feel more confident and got my dream job"

    "I love to feed the fish, thanks Rick...my ace used to be filled with pimples and anal grease but now my ace is as smooth as a babies bottom, I feel like a kid again, thanks"

    " I used to mask my arse smell with cologne and other junk, I have tried so many other techniques but yours is by far the best. I am now engaged to a playboy model"

    Siskel & Roeper give it "Two un-smelly fingers up"

    P.S. I AM OFFERING FREE SERVICE TO LADIEs
    Last edited by pipeman_shortname; 01-15-2011 at 08:24 PM.

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    So I jumped port in hong kong and made my way over to tibet. I got a job loopin' over in the himalayas, you know a pro jock. So i get a job loopin' for none other than the dhali llama himself, the bald head, the flowing robes...striking!
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    Quote Originally Posted by johnny46 View Post
    The creature in the sky got sucked into a hole now there's a hole in the sky and the ground's not cold and if the ground's not cold, everything is gonna burn we'll all take turns I'll get mine too
    pixies?

    you hipster.
    ‎"I was always taught..." Four words impacting fire service education in the most negative of ways. -Bill Carey

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    Quote Originally Posted by tajm611 View Post
    pixies?

    you hipster.

    shoot mayne.

    46, you sure you ain't from Austin instead of Houston? I think I'm gonna get me out my little stowaway map of kitch vegetarian joints in Austin. I got ta get down with that sensitive-man-scene. Pixies, ankle sucking-tight jeans and the smiths for me, from now on....

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    im sorry, i couldnt hear you over the sound of my fixie, and my ipod playing a band called.......well......nevermind, you've never heard of them.
    ‎"I was always taught..." Four words impacting fire service education in the most negative of ways. -Bill Carey

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    Quote Originally Posted by tajm611 View Post
    pixies?

    you hipster.
    You need to look up some pictures of Black Francis.
    Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

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    Black Francis........


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    Nothing skinny about that man.
    Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pipeman_shortname View Post
    shoot mayne.

    46, you sure you ain't from Austin instead of Houston? I think I'm gonna get me out my little stowaway map of kitch vegetarian joints in Austin. I got ta get down with that sensitive-man-scene. Pixies, ankle sucking-tight jeans and the smiths for me, from now on....
    Pixies and smiths? Not to be mentioned together. the Smiths sucked.
    Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

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    Quote Originally Posted by johnny46 View Post
    Pixies and smiths? Not to be mentioned together. the Smiths sucked.
    I understand your purist standard for quality punk, however...as a "hard-ace" turned "sensitive-man", I kindly disagree. You see, they both can live together in harmony. I learned this while eating falafel in Austin. have you had a falafel? it is an eastern dish. it is so choice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pipeman_shortname View Post
    I understand your purist standard for quality punk, however...as a "hard-ace" turned "sensitive-man", I kindly disagree. You see, they both can live together in harmony. I learned this while eating falafel in Austin. have you had a falafel? it is an eastern dish. it is so choice.
    smiths sucked. sorry. it's science.
    Logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

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    Default You have blinded me

    Quote Originally Posted by johnny46 View Post
    smiths sucked. sorry. it's science.

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    Quote Originally Posted by johnny46 View Post
    smiths sucked. sorry. it's science.
    science sucks.

    however, it has an antidote; have you ever had......a falafel?

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    anyway....

    if you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up, it is so choice.
    Last edited by pipeman_shortname; 01-15-2011 at 10:25 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by johnny46 View Post
    smiths sucked. sorry. it's science.
    Bigmouth strikes again.

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