1. #1
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    Default Wife Nurse & Husband fulltime FF?

    Hi all, just need some advice here. My husband has been a volunteer ff for 10 yrs now. He has always had a state job during this time therefor never went for fulltime ff as he figured he had the best of both worlds. In the past few years he has decided he wants to become a fulltime ff & believes he should of made this transition years ago especially with a new baby on the way. I support whatever decision he makes because I want him to be satisfied with both family life & career life. The opportunity to interview & likely of getting hired on a department has arrived for him...however he's concerned about the baby coming in two months & my schedule as a nurse. He is having a hard time deciding what he wants for us as well as himself.

    The department is 2 days, 2 nights, & 4 off. Both careers will require us to be away some holidays & every other weekend (me) which is not the biggest of concern but what is of concern is since we both have strict careers than who will be available to pick up the baby from daycare should she get sick & needs to leave early. Or if the daycare closes early due to a snow day? Order backs as probies? We don't have much family locally that could help out. He suggests I become a stay at home mom however I love my profession & have only been a nurse for a lil less than 5 yrs. I'm willing to drop down to part time, change shifts, or go per diem to keep my career as well as support his. He also voiced concerns of being stressed during the first year as a probie as well as new dad, not necessarily wanting to miss out on the first few years. He voiced that his current job will provide flexibility with the above concerns so he seems pretty set in his choice.
    Any advice from anyone who is also married to a nurse & the pros/cons regarding scheduling? Or has made a career change with the spouse working part time as well? I would hate to see him miss out on his desire/dream if its possible to be worked out.

    Thanks guys/gals!

  2. #2
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    1 how sure is getting hired and say how soon?

    2 can you afford to stay at home for at least a year??

    3 yes with your job and if the finances can handle it look at prn

    4 with dad being home what seems alot more he can change more diapers and bond more. I did

    5 yes we had help on both working days, you just need to set up a support network, may come from the fd

    6 as far as holidays, wife and kids did alot if them at the fire station, and would visit her at the hospital


    I highly support stay at home mom, also consider other nursing fields such as visiting nurse- gives more of a flexible schedule

  3. #3
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    I'm not a nurse, but my husband just went career too, and I work outside the home as well. My job is mostly flexible, but I do have parts of my job that are on-call crisis type work. So if a client needs me at 4am, I go. We also have no family within 600 miles. In our case, we have really, really good in-home licensed daycare that we pay a ton for. I can drop the kids off any time. Perhaps you could look into a really professional daycare like that which you can use part time when you work normally, but have the option to use in an emergency as well. Good luck!

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    I am career and my wife is a nurse. We have our first child on the way so I cannot help on the kid issues. However as far as the nurse and firemans schedual mixing. I can tell you i wouldn't have it any other way.

    By both of us working shift work means that more then likely one of us or both of us will be working during the weekend. However, that leaves us days off together during the week, much less people when we go out.

    I work 24 hour shifts 2-3 a week and she works 3 12s a week. most of the time we have two days off a week together. Which leaves both of us a few days off alone during the week. For us that works out great it allows us to have our own alone time to unwind and relax.

    Remember that clear communication and commitment is the key to working out anything in a relationship.

    When i was going through the academy my wife was going through nursing school at the sametime.That was tough but we worked it out and made it work.

    One of my mentors told me one time whilie i was in the academy.
    "God, Family, and the RFD. Those are your priorities in that order. Don't forget that."

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    My wife is a nurse, and I am a career FF in a large city. We have two kids, 8 and 3. We also plan on having at least one more kid in the near future. She works 3-12s. There are some challenges pertaining to our schedules, but we make it work. For example, when she is on night shift she gets off at 730 am, and if I am going in to work that day I need to leave by 615 am. So we have to find someone to watch the kids for an hour and a half. The other obstacle is if we are both working on the same day. We have another FF's wife (stay at home mom) babysit while we are working the same day. And the mornings where we need someone for a hour or two, I just drop the kids off at a day care that opens at 6 or 630 and she picks them up on the way home, or leaves them there for awhile if she needs sleep.

    My point is we both enjoy our careers, and her schedule along with mine provide issues we find ways to overcome. She will try to schedule her work around my days as much as possible. Sometimes she doesn't get what she requests, and we deal with it. However we find ourselves only needing a babysitter maybe twice a month. It just takes careful planning. Sometimes she schedules her days off with mine so we can take trips and enjoy family time. It just works because we make it work.

    Pretty soon she is switching back to day shift, and guess what? We will make it work without either of us quitting. Just explore your options, and come up with a plan for every situation. Also for those days that something falls through, your husband may be able to do shift trades with a co-worker when he is on the floor. Takes sacrifice but it is obtainable without stressing out too much in my opinion.

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    Thank You all for your advice and personal experiences! It's nice to see how others are making it work

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    Smile Make being a nurse and mom work.

    Quote Originally Posted by meandc View Post
    Hi all, just need some advice here. My husband has been a volunteer ff for 10 yrs now. He has always had a state job during this time therefor never went for fulltime ff as he figured he had the best of both worlds. In the past few years he has decided he wants to become a fulltime ff & believes he should of made this transition years ago especially with a new baby on the way. I support whatever decision he makes because I want him to be satisfied with both family life & career life. The opportunity to interview & likely of getting hired on a department has arrived for him...however he's concerned about the baby coming in two months & my schedule as a nurse. He is having a hard time deciding what he wants for us as well as himself.

    The department is 2 days, 2 nights, & 4 off. Both careers will require us to be away some holidays & every other weekend (me) which is not the biggest of concern but what is of concern is since we both have strict careers than who will be available to pick up the baby from daycare should she get sick & needs to leave early. Or if the daycare closes early due to a snow day? Order backs as probies? We don't have much family locally that could help out. He suggests I become a stay at home mom however I love my profession & have only been a nurse for a lil less than 5 yrs. I'm willing to drop down to part time, change shifts, or go per diem to keep my career as well as support his. He also voiced concerns of being stressed during the first year as a probie as well as new dad, not necessarily wanting to miss out on the first few years. He voiced that his current job will provide flexibility with the above concerns so he seems pretty set in his choice.
    Any advice from anyone who is also married to a nurse & the pros/cons regarding scheduling? Or has made a career change with the spouse working part time as well? I would hate to see him miss out on his desire/dream if its possible to be worked out.

    Thanks guys/gals!
    Hi there,

    It sounds like you are in a little bit of pickle. I think that it is great that you and your husband are taking the time to think of the best solution to this issue. It is something that will have a great effect on your life. I would suggest that you find a good nurse job that is willing to work with your schedule, somewhere that is very flexible. I would suggest trying to find someplace that would look at your husband's schedule and then work around it so that your kids always have someone at home, whether it be you or your husband. I hope that helps and that you two figure out something that works best for you two.

    Shannon, RN

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