1. #1
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    Default NEED ADVICE: Rookie has to leave wife/kid behind temporarily to take job out-of-state

    Ok, fire service veterans, I need some advice. I finally achieved a lifelong goal and received an offer to work full-time for a very reputable department in a great city. Taking the job will require moving out-of-state (roughly 6.5 hour drive). Here's the issue...I'm married with a toddler and we own a home that will take months to sell (based on current market activity in our community). So, in order to make this work, I will have to move ahead of my wife and kid to attend academy, which is about 4 to 5 months and hope that the house sells within that time frame. Fortunately, my wife absolutely loves the city I'll be working for and is 100% behind the opportunity.

    Have any of you had to relocate for your job in the fire service - but had to leave your family behind for months in the beginning?

    Have any you in this position encountered any issues with selling your home due to relocating? I'd appreciate any advice or feedback.

  2. #2
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    It is tough leaving a sweet loving wife with a toddler to go to work out of town. It has been done by many firefighters and other occupations.

    Get yourself a room or apartment or share with other members of your class and when you get near graduation, then find a place to move the family.

    You can always make the trip home on a Friday evening after class, providing they don't have something schedule for the recruits on the weekends.

    Remember nothing counts until you receive the badge, be sworn in and have graduated.
    Stay Safe and Well Out There....

    Always remembering 9-11-2001 and 343+ Brothers

  3. #3
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    If you know anyone that is a reservist and has been deployed overseas for a tour, get with them for advice, it's very similar in to your situation.
    First thing, get a Skype account. That way you can talk face to face live.
    Make sure you each have a complete listing of all you accounts, with account numbers and access codes so you can take of anything as needed.
    It may help to get a limited power of attorney for each other (provided you have a solid marriage ), that way some of your paperwork can get done without both of you together.
    Get a support network with friends and family as much as you can. That way your wife can get a break now and then from taking care of the kid.
    Talk about expectations before you go. Who's going to handle what, when and how often you can visit, talk, etc.
    Tens of thousands of military service members have made it work under worse conditions and for longer times. It won't be easy, but reminder her that a little sacrifice now will lead to a better life down the road. Be patient with each other, don't sweat the little stuff. Good luck and Congrats on the new job.

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    yes and yes

    as far as the house, was not real estate savvy so I messed up on the sale, just find a great agent you can totaly rely on.

    as far as the move I would toatly suggest you get thorugh the acadmey first and get on shift before you move the family. I know that is hard, but you never know what may happen during the acadmey!!!!!

    find another academy student or shift firefighter to rent a room from, you will be tied up with school anyway, so not much down time for other stuff.

    are you a paid firefighter now, or is this your first paid gig????

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    Thanks for all the feedback and advice!

    @fire49: Yes, this is my first paid job with a fire department. So excited to get going. Looking forward to the start of a great career doing the best job in the world.

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    Can we see a picture of the wife before committing to an answer?





    Truly kidding, but in most career FD's that's the kind of joking you'll get. Don't expose any weaknesses at all, lest they be totally exploited. Good luck with the situation, it appears to be a difficult one, but at least your wife supports you. I know there are few other jobs I'd ever give this up for.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RFDACM02 View Post
    Can we see a picture of the wife before committing to an answer?





    Truly kidding, but in most career FD's that's the kind of joking you'll get. Don't expose any weaknesses at all, lest they be totally exploited. Good luck with the situation, it appears to be a difficult one, but at least your wife supports you. I know there are few other jobs I'd ever give this up for.
    Sort of off topic, but this reminds me of a probie several years ago. After he'd been on the job for just a few weeks, one of the old timers on another shift tells him to remind his wife to reset the bedside alarm in the morning before she leaves so he's not late for work. Probie comes up out of his chair and acts like he's going to start swinging. He thought the guy was serious. We got him calmed down and eventually he got with the program. Unfortunately he was subjected to comments about his wife for years afterwards. Never let them see a weakness.

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