Should I be in grief even though I have no connection to the folks who were killed?
Should I spend time thinking about my actions even though I could have had no effect on the outcome of the incident?
Yes, it's unfortunate and is painful for the friends, families and relatives, and certainly I see it as an unfortunate event, but exactly how do you want me to feel as somebody completely disconnected from the victims?
Yes it sucks, but yes it happens, and always will happen. And as much i do not want to see folks die in this way, there is little or nothing that the suppression side can do to prevent it.
And throwing our members into ultrahazardous environments and accepting firefighter injuries and deaths is not the solution.
We have the right to go home after every call, and if that means not taking the risks for victims that some see as acceptable, which may sacrifice a civilian on occasion, so be it.
Until we see fire prevention, not suppression and response, as the solution, and fund it as such, we will continue to lose an unacceptable number of civilians.
As far as pretending, most that I have served with would disagree.