Looking for a FF Wife's advice to a possible probie.
I am currently in a academy ran by a local school to get my certifications. I will be graduating in August and have a big decision to make: get a job as a full time firefighter or find another career. See, when beginning this academy, I was all about being a firefighter, I was ready for anything and everything. I had no worries about the schedule firefighting presented me or how firefighting would affect my home life as I would be living alone with no significant other. However during this time my fiance came along and we are set to be married next April. I almost dropped my academy to go be with her (we live a hour apart). My first dream for a long while was to just have a family of my own, being a husband who was home helping as much as possible, and spending as much time I could with them. Honestly, I had given up on that dream until I met her. Now, I am concerned that I will be spending so much time with fire fighting as my career, being gone every third night, and the distress that comes along with the job will affect my home life and future marriage. She works at a local bank and plans to stay there, so our schedules would far from aline time off wise. She will have all holidays off, I won't be able to. I will be gone when she wants me home, and quite frankly, anytime she wants me to be there I want to be there as well. I am beyond confused, because now I have NO idea what to do with my life or what direction to take it. I just want my marriage and family first not my job. She seems to be fine with it now, but I don't think she quite knows the extent of how everything will be. I see a lot of you have made marriages work with a significant other in the fire service. Any advice? Are there any upsides to having a husband in the fire service? Any help or advice would be appreciated.
Coming from the wife of a firefighter...
I have been with my husband for 6 years and we have been married for two of those years. The biggest concern I have is the amount of time you both have been together. Is there a reason for the hurry? Living with someone and getting to know them is work enough, adding in a time consuming and stressful job is ten times harder. My husband works for 3 days straight sometimes more ( he works for CAL FIRE and with large wild land fires, they can be gone for weeks or more at a time) and has a 2 hour commute, and it has been tough; however having been together for the time we have has made it easier. You both need to build a foundation for your relationship, and know that if firefighting is what you want to to you have to go for it. If she can't handle it, that doesn't mean you should give up; being your own person is not only beneficial for you but any potential partner. Being happy in your professional life is so crucial for your personal life. I am so proud of my husband and yes I worry and get lonely, but I know he is doing what he loves and I never want to take that away from him. And remember absence makes the heart grow fonder.