Thread: Killer crickets

  1. #1
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    Default Killer crickets

    Holy crap there were 10 million crickets out last night. It was cold for the first time last night here in Texas and the damn crickets came out. We went to a piece of crap fire alarm at the stupid McDonalds and it sounded like we were driving on....well 10 million damn crickets. Anyway, there is a point to this story, tust me. So we were already awake and in awe of the multitude of crickets and decided to perform an experiment. I must warn you, it is the biggest waste of time on the planet and if you have something better to do than read this go ahead, I won't be hurt. Ok, we got some duct tape and made a 5 strip wide section and layed it on the ground sticky side up and set it on the patio where the crickets were swarming. Here is some of the data we collected.

    65% of the crickets who walked onto the tape backed up after getting two or four legs stuck.
    30% walked all the way on to it and jumped off after a few seconds of trying to walk across.
    5% walked all the way across. Real troopers.

    Crickets that rip a leg off trying to free themself from a sticky surface jump crooked.
    But still jump.

    Crickets that landed on the strip upside down generally left without their wings.

    Crickets do not like sugar, honey, oatmeal, corn starch, powder laxative or chili powder. (we put a small ammount of each on the strip trying to attract the bugs and see if they ate people food)

    Crickets really do not like chili powder. They few that landed in the pile acted really ****ed off.

    Crickets will dive bomb other crickets that are in trouble. Some got stuck in the middle and the other crickets would jump from like 10,000 feet (in cricket feet) and drill them. We were unsure if this was an attempt to free the trapped cricket or just to be an ***.

    See I told you it was ignorant. So whats the stupidest thing you have ever done at the fire station at 3 am? Id like to see if anyone can top this.
    My comments posted here do not reflect the views of my department.

  2. #2
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    You better be careful or People For The Ethical Treatment of Crickets might come knocking on you door.
    Bless all of our Fallen Brothers and Sisters. You will not be forgotten

  3. #3
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    Very interesting! There has to be Federal govt research money out there somewhere to cover the cost of your study. Check out area colleges or write Washington. Can you put your research in writing? Maybe crickets are being affected by the same environmental influence as sharks. You really have to get this out to the media. Now I'm nervous for nightfall. No need to panic, everyone, just stay indoors at night!

  4. #4
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    Calculate the volume of a room and then, based on the size of an average human sh*t, calculate how many sh*ts it would take to fill the room from floor to ceiling.

    Contort face into the ugliest positions imaginable and hold it like that using clear tape. See who can look most like the big, ugly guy from the Goonies. Take picture with polaroid...you can't see the tape.

    Play "slap". Two people grasp each others right or left hands and hold this position. Take turns using free hand to slap opponents hand (the one in your grasp) as hard as you can. Alternate and keep going until one guy has to take his hand away due to the pain.

  5. #5
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    We already figured out that one of the bathrooms in our firehouse (12,000" square) at an average dump of 9.5" square would take
    1263.1578 dumps to fill it.

  6. #6
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    ntvilleff,

    Did you figure this out after reading the posts or have you known this for quite some time?

    Also, if you're talking 12,000 inches "square", you are only talking about how much sh*t would cover the surface area of the bathroom floor. You should calculate how many "cubic" inches the room is so you know how many sh*ts it would take to fill the bathroom from floor to ceiling.

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    Sorry,It is cubed, not squared.

  8. #8
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    A 9.5" dump (cubed or squared) has got to hurt!

  9. #9
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    Ok the dump thing is almost as stupid as the cricket experiment. Ill give credit where credit is due. Im tryig to think of some other ignorant things Ive done...oh here is one. I had a East Texas snow ball fight in July. I got several rolls of toilet paper, pulled off clumps, soaked em in ice water and pelted the crap out of all my fellow firemen. They failed to see the humor in it. I thought it was funny as hell. Its amazing what kind of crap you can come up with when you are confined to quarters every third day.
    My comments posted here do not reflect the views of my department.

  10. #10
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    Hey Waterboy, that was too friggin funny! I laughed my ***** off reading that. Are you sure they weren't filming the next episode of Fear Factor in your town and the crickets didn't escape? I wonder if a cricket will drag it's ***** like a dog after eating chili powder? Not that I'd know or anything.....
    Take care, stay safe, & stay low!

    Lt.

  11. #11
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    And no, I haven't fed a dog chili powder. What kind of a person do you think I am? Tobasco sauce on the other hand.....
    Take care, stay safe, & stay low!

    Lt.

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