1. ## How policy begins

Start with a cage containing 5 apes. In the cage,hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it.
Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same
result - all the apes are sprayed with water. This will continue through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it. Now, turn off the cold water and replace one of the apes with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and goes to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt, and another attack, he
knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Now, remove another of the original 5 apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a
third origianl ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the
beating of the newest ape. After replacing the fourth and the fifth of the original apes, all of the apes that were originally sprayed with cold water are now replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs.
Why not? Because that's the way we've always done it, and that's the way it's always been around here. And that's how policy begins!

**Well, now we know!**

2. That is Good FedFire...I actually watched a documentary on that once....it really does work...good analogy....

3. How do "government standards" get created?

Anybody know what standard railroad gauge is in the US?

The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the
way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.

Why did the English people build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the
pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools
that they used for building wagons,which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some
of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.

So who built these old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions built the first long

And the ruts?

Roman war chariots first made the initial ruts, which everyone else had to
match for fear of destroying their wagons. Since the chariots were made for or
by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original questions. The United States
standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original
specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot. Specs and
Bureaucracies live forever.

So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what *** came up
with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were
made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war horses.

And they even had to change the size of the solid rocket boosters for the space shuttle - So they could fit through railroad tunnels! Even NASA has to follow the old Roman MilSpec.

4. In the beginning there was The Plan.

And then came The Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the face of The Workers. And the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying, "This is a crock of sh*t, and it stinketh."

And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and we can't live with the smell".

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide it".

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength".

And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong".

And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents, saying, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful".

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with very powerful effects".

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good. And the Plan became Policy.

And that my friends, is how Sh*t happens.

5. I know in most department it takes some one to get hurt for a policy to be implemented. Does it take bloodshed in your department?
I feel a progressive department will try to develope something before this happens. At least I hope it would.
Stay safe

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