1. #1
    Dalmation90
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Cool Humourus Dispatches...

    Heard tonite:

    Station WW to the 3 Windham (CT) Departments...be advised your water rescue drill for tomorrow has been cancelled. The water is to low.


  2. #2
    BVFD
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Heard here recently from new dispatcher:

    Attention ***** firefighters. You have a fire on state route 269.

    That was the end of the dispatch!

  3. #3
    phyrngn
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Heard over dispatch recently...

    Let's get ready to rumble!!!! Engine 2, Zone **, **** Park, on a trash can overturned and on fire...bring your hotdogs and marshmallows!!!!

  4. #4
    Todd Trimble
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    First in unit (actually a deputy) realizes primary co is going to need mutual aid and says:

    "County, start Fairland and tell them to bring *all the water they can find*!"

    Emphasis his.


    ------------------
    Todd Trimble
    Fairland Volunteer Fire Department


  5. #5
    Dalmation90
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Wow...wasn't expecting replys! But they are funny!

    Here's my all time most memorable. (The names have been changed to protect the innocent...
    )
    "Your responding to 123 Main Street, Smith residence, Cross streets are Elm and Park, a blue house with white shutters, for a working structure fire"

    Gee, if the flames blowing out the windows don't give it away, I guess I'll look at the color of the shutters Or imagine the call taker..."Really, there's fire coming from the windows? What color is the house?"

  6. #6
    Todd Trimble
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink

    Another one just last night:

    "...subjects in a silver Grand Am traveling north threw a rock at the complainant's mail box. Did no damage to the rock...(long pause)...check...to the box..."

    ------------------
    Todd Trimble
    Fairland Volunteer Fire Department


  7. #7
    Terry Storer
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    Overheard on a rural fire/rescue page out,"The baby's fallen ,The baby's fallen, The baby's fallen,..." repeated 'til the 60 second time out. No further pages made.

  8. #8
    firefly37
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Some of our guys use digital pagers for dispatch. We found this in the "notes" section of a possible barn fire:
    "There are houses in the barn."

    At the end of the final report the correction was made to: horses in the barn

  9. #9
    firefly37
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Some of our guys use digital pagers for dispatch. We found this in the "notes" section of a possible barn fire:
    "There are houses in the barn."

    At the end of the final report the correction was made to: horses in the barn

  10. #10
    DD
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    A neighboring department asked directions from the dispatcher who looks at the map on the computer screen and transmitts "Take the blue road to the green road and turn right". I'm sure that it wasn't in our area because we don't have any green roads to the right. All of our green roads go to the left.

  11. #11
    Jim M.
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    A nearby city has a rural Y intersection known as Molly's crotch. (The name has been in use for over 100 years - totally non-sexual in origin.) A permited burn got out of control and set decorative bushes on fire. You guessed it - "Respond with Engine X to a bush on fire at Molly's crotch". Happened over 10 years ago, still gets a chuckle every time I drive thru the intersection.
    - - - - - - -
    Jim

  12. #12
    iwood51
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Question

    Hey, web-team, can we move this out of fire-wire to maybe firefighters forum? This is a great topic and would get a lot more hits there.

  13. #13
    iwood51
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Dal90, great idea, our county has recently hired a lot of new dispatchers and I have just got the scanner in my truck going again, I will keep my ears open.
    About a week ago we were toned out for an alarm in the wee hours of the morning and the time given (4 times no less) was 15:xx instead of 05:xx. I thought "Boy am I late for work"


    [This message has been edited by iwood51 (edited August 30, 1999).]

  14. #14
    Dalmation90
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    For that matter, I kept reading the top of an incident report one morning, going "I know something's wrong here...can't quite figure it out though..."
    First two lines went as follows (Ok, I'm guessing at the incident number, but the time's right!)

    Incident Number 123456
    Time of Alarm: 24:01

    I eventually figured out what looked weird

  15. #15
    bgilmore07
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    Heard a few years ago:

    Ambulance 81, Medic 100, 2100 block of W. 2nd St., for a 10-18 (MVA) with injection.

    "Medic 100 to Radio."
    "Medic 100"
    "What was the patient injected with?"
    "He was injected from the vericle" (vehicle?)

    It's hard to talk on the radio and eat at the same time.

  16. #16
    ltlpfd
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Red face

    Sta. *** unknown med emergency 123 A street. The subject states that he has a swollen pee pee !!!!

    That was the start of a long tour!!!!

  17. #17
    CAPTAIN G
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Smile

    Once heard a neighboring dept tone "Need to respond to *John Doe's* house, he needs help, he needs help!"

  18. #18
    emsbrando
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    This is not a humorous dispatch, but it may fit the bill.

    My favorite one to play on dispathers is:

    Dispatch: "Unit with traffic"?

    Me: "Unit 8**".

    Dispatch: "Go ahead 8**".

    Me: "Yeah I'm behind a pickup, and 2 cars, what do you need?"

    After a moment of silence, they will usually have you call the Comm. while you can hear the others laughing in the background.


    Ed

    [This message has been edited by emsbrando (edited September 10, 1999).]

  19. #19
    Truckie414
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink

    One of the best heard over the scanner on PD freq:

    "***** County to 802, check the area of 220 Cedar St. for a report of a large snapping turtle in the middle of the road."

    Other units immediately jumped in:

    "805 to 802, does your unit have an 89? (radar gun)"
    "808 to 802, I'll be responding to back you for a 40F (foot pursuit)"

  20. #20
    EPFD-AL
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    - Late one night we heard the police desk dispatch a patrol car to a burglar alarm;
    "Check the Building Inspector's Office. Someone used the wrong code."
    - One afternoon our brother and sister firefighters across town were dispatched to; "Smoke from the Magic Shop" and upon arrival and investigation the Lt. reported, "Smoke was an illusion."


  21. #21
    stvfd88
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Best on scene report I have ever heard...for a porta-potty on fire..."Engine * on the scene of a single story structure, with a basement, fully involved". I still chuckle when I bring that one up.



    ------------------
    Scott Lambert
    Seminole Trail Volunteer Fire Department

  22. #22
    Fireguy57
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Cool

    Our local company was dispatched to route so and so for a brush fire along side the road. We were told to go 5 miles north of town, which we did and didn't find the fire, dispatch said to keep going it will be right along the road, just to continue till we find it. well, we found it, and extinguished it very fast, but just to mess with the new dispatchers head, we said we had just arrived at the New York state boarder(like 50 mile north of our small PA town) and we called county and said we were in Waverly Ny, should we turn left or right on to RTE. 17. I never heard him dispatch for the county again, I think he quit!

    All in good time!

  23. #23
    Paterson FireOfficers
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Ambulance dispatched to a fight at a bar. The dispatcher says to pick up the losers.
    http://www.iaff3860.com/

  24. #24
    LFD Dist. 63
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Smile

    A guy in our dept. always talks about the dispatch of a co. a few towns over on the same channels as ours.
    The dispatch went something like this.

    Dispatcher: Station 27-2 @ A Better Place Learning Center (The Alarm System.)

    A few minutes pass and then you hear:

    Officer: County be advised 2721 is responding to A BETTER PLACE.

    The story has it that when the dispatcher answered the responding engine you could hear laughter in the background.

    Just thought some of you might see the humor in that one.
    But remember what we laugh and make fun of they (dispatchers) luagh and make TAPES of.

  25. #25
    HarrisonJR
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Smile

    EMS and fire were dispatched to a factory where a female employee had gotten caught in a piece of machinery. Dispatch toned out the call and gave info on patient as being free and breeding. When they came back on the radio to correct herself you could hear the laughter in the background.

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