1. #1
    FirefighterReed
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking Humerous Dispatches..

    Lets all post funny dispatches we've heard I'll start things off.

    One there was about four or five at the station doing clean up, mowing weedeating, and burning off some brush. Well we got a page that went like this. "Station ** Caney Branch possible structure fire at 11970 Newport Hwy. the Caney Branch FD". Somebody driving by seen the smoke coming up from behind the building and called in on a cell phone that the station was on fire.

    ------------------
    Find em hot......Leave em wet...

    Fire Fighters job is never done

  2. #2
    bob1350
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    These are not really funny dispatches, but humorous radio traffic from on scene/arriving units:
    After being dispatched to a rectal bleed at a retirement village, the arriving Lt. took command and stated that the Engone Co. would be "investigating very carefully"
    After being dispatched to a possible fire involving Christmas ornaments outside a High School, an arriving Lt. was heard saying: "This will be Santa Claus command"

  3. #3
    capt3211
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Cool

    Went out on a Medical Assist call with the chief complaint as "difficulty in breeding" which was a "difficulty in breathing" after asking for repeat on chief complaint.

  4. #4
    SCFAO
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Before I went career, I was a vollie and a dispatcher for my County Public Safety. One really busy Saturday afternoon, I got a call for a portajon fire at a local ballfield. While writing up the dispatch card, I started the chant" The S**thouse is on fire...the s**thouse is on fire" much to the amusement of my fellow TCOs. Well, as I was dispatching the station to the call, I went so far as to say "Respond to a shi.... PORTAJON on fire" After the call was completed....the Asst. Chief from the Station, which was a neighboring station to my station, called me up and said " I know what you wanted to say"....and laughing his butt off. As you can well imagine, it took a while to live that one down. Also, one of the non-County stations that contracted dispatch services with us complained one time that they weren't getting complete information about calls when dispatched. Their arguement stemmed from a call they had one night where the caller told us his porch was on fire. Being that 99.99999% of front porches are attached to the structure, we dispatched a full residential response. First in unit found the remains of a bag of doggie do someone had lit off on the porch. The FD complained that we should have asked more questions instead of telling the caller to evacuate the residence. The Commo Coordinator sent out a memo that for this department, we were to get ANY information we could and disseminate it to the units as they respond. My first rotation back on the fire console, I caught a vehicle fire for this dept...my dispatch went like this..."Respond to a blue chevrolet ice cream van with fire and smoke issueing from the engine compartment" No more complaints about a lack of information. LOL

  5. #5
    D.SCHWER
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Several years ago we got dispatched to this

    County, Station 86 (address) short pause then in a monotone
    'A Lawnmower" and you heard the other dispatchers in the backgound chuckle.

  6. #6
    FGFD43
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    I just happened to this go out over the local sherrif's frequency last night and couldn't resist: "Respond to [address], possum in a kitchen cabinet" Unfortunantly, I didn't hear anything else. I was too busy rolling on the floor.

    ------------------
    Kevin Sink
    Fair Grove Fire Dept.
    Thomasville, NC USA
    kevinsink@northstate.net

  7. #7
    Dalma
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    A few weeks ago we get three calls about a railroad car on fire headed North Bound on the rails. We are dispatched and chase the train down. It turns out to be our local steam engine powered tourist train. It seems that every spring when it fires up again for the season we get a similar call.

  8. #8
    jj1967
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Recieved a call one night for a dog house on fire in a backyard. As officer of the first in engine I reported "Single story, occupied, fully involved, no life hazard. Code Yellow for **-**." The chief almost had a stroke, he didn't quite catch the origanal dispatch and thought I was going to handle a fully involved house fire with one engine.

  9. #9
    Lgreeves
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    The one that sticks in my mind is the page for a "trash truck with smoke coming out of the back they will meet you at the fire station". The local newspaper got this one on film.

  10. #10
    37 Fire/Rescue
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink

    Our neighboring dept. covers a personal care facility. One of the buildings there is called The Schick House. Of course, they were dispatched to a fire alarm activation reported at The Schick House. You could hear the dispatcher trying VERY hard not to laugh during the dispatch. The neighboring chief was not as good at hiding his amusement.

  11. #11
    pokeyfd12
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post


    We were dispatched to a "clothesline" fire once......PD was on scene advising a "working fire." Many of us scratched our heads and headed to the firehouse at a slightly cautious pace.

    Turned out it was a store named The Clothes Line. The firehouse was across the street from the store and the first guy to the station clarified the situation as a working structure fire, one story unoccupied storefront.

    Lt. Kevin C. (aka Pokey)



  12. #12
    actionj21
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Cool


    HEY IF U ARE EVER IN DELAWARE COUNTY PA TUNE YOUR SCANNER IN TO FIRE DISPATCH AND OPEARTION AND ALSO EMS FROM TIME TO TIME THE DISPATCHERS MAKE REMARKS AND ITS PRETTY FUNYY

    WWW.DREXELHILLFIRE.COM

  13. #13
    st34ff
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Arrow

    I heard a good one the other night.
    Station X respond for a bag on fire on the front porch. Hmm what was in the bag, I wounder?

    Kyle

  14. #14
    Wally57fire
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    the other night we had one of our mutual aid departments respond to a brown paper bag on fire, dispatch comes over station xx fire respond-------for a brown paper bag on a front porch burning. In the back roun as the realerted and put the address back ove you heared "yeah a bag of sh@#" and the "dam kids always burnin sh$"at this point the dispatcher was doing all she could to stop laughing, and last night at about 3 in the mornin i hear my plectron key and then wasssssup, then the mike keyed off

  15. #15
    nsfirechap
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    When I was with a volunteer department in Florida-we got toned out at 1230Am on a Saturday for a report of a "snake in the house". Our Chief was the only one to respond!!!

  16. #16
    SRFD3114
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Cool

    I heard this on a while back.

    A local fire department toned out for a couch on fire with a wood pile exposure.

    The couch was a loss, but the wood pile was saved.

  17. #17
    Neptune 33
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Not really humorous, but kinda funny. A couple companies in my county were dispatched for a working barn fire, the PD arrived on scene and reported heavy smoke showing. The chief, of course beliving the PD, orders 2nd alarm. A few seconds later the PD, a little funny sounding, comes on a says cancel the FD, it's a control burn behind the barn! Talk about getting excited over nothing!

  18. #18
    RyanT
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Red face

    I put a call once for a man slumped over the steering wheel unable to be aroused! I ment to say roused. amazing how a little "a" can really put a spin on things.

  19. #19
    smokeeater51
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink

    I recieved a call from a frantic woman one evening stating that there was a bird on her porch. I said "Okay, what's the problem?" She explains that when she goes outside, the bird leaves, when she goes back inside, it comes back. Needless to say I DID NOT put that out over the radio. And then there was the call for two males that were in the woods......well, you know. How do you send a unit to that? One of my co-workers said that the term "lewd acts" should do. I had all I could do not to bust up over the radio.

    Take care, stay safe, and stay low.

  20. #20
    dfc18
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    My self and another firefighter were on station one night for coverage as most of our department were out on a ped. Struck by a train. When county dispatch calls me on the radio wanting to know if we were available for a run,i said sure dispatch it as we got in our engine she was dispatching tones.Here is how it went Sta.18 respond---- residence----Rd. Report of a manure pile on fire i looked at the guy next to me in the truck and he says "This is gonna be a ****ty job" i had to get out and let another guy drive i was laughing so hard, it turned out the home owner had mixed it with some straw and it did the decompose thing and well you all know the rest.....

  21. #21
    Kafbfire23
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Cool

    My grand father used to tel me a story of a county Battalion chief who I beleive was newly promoted. The county is both carrer and volunteer so sometimes the battalion chief will be the only one on scene in rural areas for a while. They recieved a call for a barn fire and reponded. The BC was the first on scene and the dispatcher must have interuped the BCs train of thought during size up by asking him for a sit-rep. His reply came back in an exited tone "The whole a** end of the place is on fire I need help".
    I am not sure if this is exactly the way it went. But I did my best I thought it was funny.

    ------------------
    My opinons do not reflect the views of my department
    or the U.S. Air Force
    Leather Forever

  22. #22
    Mikell
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    Not too long ago our dept was dispatched to a woods fire. As i arrived at the station, there was a lady parked in front. She calmly asked me if this was the fire dept, I said yes and get the he** out of the way I have a fire to go to. She said okay and that her house was on fire. I asked her where she lived and her exact words were "I dont know, its a trailer on the left after you take a right." I did find it, no fire just an electrical short

  23. #23
    SRVFD2
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Smile

    In our part of the world, the dispatchers and firefighters should really have a thing against "cell phones". This is "Fire-cured tobacco" territory - sawdust is lit in the bottom of barns to "smoke" the tobacco. (YEAH - SOME times barns are lost!!) It used to be that when we were called to a "barn fire", we knew we had a "barn fire" - but now with cell phones and an interstate going through the county carrying people not acquainted with dark tobacco, 2 vol. depts. are getting called out Many times from Sept. - Dec. for barns that are smoking. That's what they're supposed to be doing!!!!

  24. #24
    wsfd
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    this to isn't a dispatch but radio talk between reponding units to a chimney fire, *** to *** base, you wanna send the truck out with the ladder on it, we're gonna need it

  25. #25
    lpfd519
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    I was listening to my scanner as the university PD pulled up on a parked car in the football stadium's parking lot. Apparently, there was a high school couple in the car...together. As the officer politely explained to the two that he liked to keep the parking lots clear at night, they told him that they were parked on campus and another cop told them they could park out here and not be bothered. Needless to say, it was just about the funniest thing I had heard in a while. There was only one campus PD patrolling at that time.

    Chalking one up to creativity...

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