Subject: Southern Association of Colleges
Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of
Colleges and Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach
Y'allbonics in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Included
are some samples of Y'allbonics. If you do not understand any of them,
contact your closest southern bubba for an explanation.
HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
"A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd
him in munts."
THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
"Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I
my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard
a few munts ago."
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat
tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, sure hope to see that
Tire in Pars sometime."
RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."
FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage "He's did, Jim."
ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; Oxygen.
Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
Usage "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."