I'MMMMMMM BAAAAAACk!!!!!!

[Speedi120]

Subject: Y'allbonics

Subject: Southern Association of Colleges

Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of
Colleges and Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach
Y'allbonics in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Included
here
are some samples of Y'allbonics. If you do not understand any of them,
contact your closest southern bubba for an explanation.

Y'allbonics/English dictionary
HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage
"A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
improvements."
MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd
from
him in munts."
THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage
"Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I
eft
my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard
a few munts ago."
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
truck,
that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat
tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, sure hope to see that
Eiffel
Tire in Pars sometime."
RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
combat.
Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."
FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
country."
DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage "He's did, Jim."
ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; Oxygen.
Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war
fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
minnit
in'is laf."
SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
Usage "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

[N2DFire]

Whooo Boy !!

I understood almost all of those without the explination. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry !!

Being a southern boy myself - I find that things like this just serve to prove my theory ->

If you can't laugh at yourself, someone else will do it for you

Thanks for the laughs Speedi !!

Take Care - Stay Safe
Stephen

[This message has been edited by N2DFire (edited October 05, 2000).]

[Speedi120]

A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the
tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
the tip of your finger?"

"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I
thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"

"So, then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my
teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"

"So, then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud
noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."


N2DFire, being a Southern girl and a Blonde, I find that it is best to always laugh at yourself before someone else gets the chance. Enjoy Y'all lol

[Looper]

If you get into East Texas, people actually talk like that!

[Speedi120]

Looper,
They blame talk like that on the South, but the truth is that people from all over the US are prone to such speech. I have talked to people from the North that has never set foot on Southern soil and they talk just like that. I don't think that it is so much where you are from but how much education you have received.

[ENGINE18-3]

Thank God us Yanks don't tawlk like youse guys.

haha

------------------
The statements above are my own opinions

FF Greg Grudzinski
Oaklyn Fire Dept.
Station 18-3

[Looper]

Speedi --
Sorry, the East Texas thing is more of an inside joke. Around here its considered the hillbilly part of the state. Kinda like our version of Arkansas.

I'm not a native Texan -- moved here from Michigan 6 years ago -- so I don't have an accent, since everyone knows that midwestern english is the correct form and everyone else has accents!

[SRVFD2]

I have to agree with N2D - kind of scarey to be able to recognize every one of those!!! Thanx for the entertainment!!

[Preston]

Speedi they have been teaching this in Alabama for YEARS. Thanks for the laugh.

[jalbritt]

Whoad thunk weed lernt a dadburn thang if it wernt for that word album you wrote. True florida Cracker. JHA

[Speedi120]

Correct english? Hmmm, is that right? I'm going to have to think about that one.

[F02]

Had a fella from down south come in my garage once wanting me to check his "bat tree".After the third time of me asking "what"? He replys "BAT TREE My car do'nt start so good".

[daysleeper47]

GOD BLESS OHIO!!!

[chiefjay4]

Speed: I am not sure what part of the north you were in, but it sure wasn't the parts i've been in

[Speedi120]

ChiefJay,
I have talked to people from Michigan, PA, and Ohio that have talked maybe not as bad as that but pretty close to it. How many of you know what a mater is? Well, this southern girl didn't. And as far as I know that is suppose to be Southern slang. Yes us Southerners tend to be lazy with our speech, yes we tend to take short cuts. Thus you all become Y'all, and tomato becomes mater. But I personally would not live any other place.



[This message has been edited by Speedi120 (edited October 09, 2000).]

[eCappy]

Ah, the South!

I spent a year there one weekend.

Please ..... just kidding!

[Speedi120]

[This message has been edited by Speedi120 (edited October 09, 2000).]

[chiefjay4]

Easy speed....AS we say up north: "I was just breaking your balls" LOL

If you want e-mail me I have some other funny posts like yours but from the north.
chiefjay4@aol.com

[This message has been edited by chiefjay4 (edited October 10, 2000).]

[Speedi120]

Ummmm, Jay
I don't have ....... never mind.

Have a great day and be safe.

[daysleeper47]

Hey speedi,
What gives? Haven't seen you in the firefighters forum for a while...am I blind? come on back.