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  1. #1
    Speedi120
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink I'MMMMMMM BAAAAAACk!!!!!!

    Subject: Y'allbonics

    Subject: Southern Association of Colleges

    Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of
    Colleges and Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach
    Y'allbonics in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Included
    here
    are some samples of Y'allbonics. If you do not understand any of them,
    contact your closest southern bubba for an explanation.

    Y'allbonics/English dictionary
    HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
    Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
    BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
    Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
    JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
    Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
    BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
    Usage
    "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
    improvements."
    MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
    Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd
    from
    him in munts."
    THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
    Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
    BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
    Usage
    "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
    IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
    Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
    RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I
    eft
    my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard
    a few munts ago."
    ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
    Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
    FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
    Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
    truck,
    that thing's gonna catch far."
    TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
    Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat
    tar in my pickup truck."
    TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
    Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, sure hope to see that
    Eiffel
    Tire in Pars sometime."
    RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
    Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
    FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
    combat.
    Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
    RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
    Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
    CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
    Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."
    FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
    Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
    country."
    DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
    Usage "He's did, Jim."
    ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; Oxygen.
    Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
    BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
    Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
    JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
    Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war
    fence cump'ny?"
    HAZE - a contraction.
    Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
    minnit
    in'is laf."
    SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
    VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
    Usage "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"
    GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
    Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."



  2. #2
    N2DFire
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Whooo Boy !!

    I understood almost all of those without the explination. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry !!

    Being a southern boy myself - I find that things like this just serve to prove my theory ->

    If you can't laugh at yourself, someone else will do it for you

    Thanks for the laughs Speedi !!

    Take Care - Stay Safe
    Stephen

    [This message has been edited by N2DFire (edited October 05, 2000).]

  3. #3
    Speedi120
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink

    A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the
    tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
    doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

    "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
    the tip of your finger?"

    "No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I
    thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"

    "So, then?" asked the doctor.

    "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my
    teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"

    "So, then?"

    "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud
    noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."


    N2DFire, being a Southern girl and a Blonde, I find that it is best to always laugh at yourself before someone else gets the chance. Enjoy Y'all lol



  4. #4
    Looper
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    If you get into East Texas, people actually talk like that!

  5. #5
    Speedi120
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Smile

    Looper,
    They blame talk like that on the South, but the truth is that people from all over the US are prone to such speech. I have talked to people from the North that has never set foot on Southern soil and they talk just like that. I don't think that it is so much where you are from but how much education you have received.

  6. #6
    ENGINE18-3
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Thank God us Yanks don't tawlk like youse guys.

    haha

    ------------------
    The statements above are my own opinions

    FF Greg Grudzinski
    Oaklyn Fire Dept.
    Station 18-3

  7. #7
    Looper
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Speedi --
    Sorry, the East Texas thing is more of an inside joke. Around here its considered the hillbilly part of the state. Kinda like our version of Arkansas.

    I'm not a native Texan -- moved here from Michigan 6 years ago -- so I don't have an accent, since everyone knows that midwestern english is the correct form and everyone else has accents!

  8. #8
    SRVFD2
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Thumbs up

    I have to agree with N2D - kind of scarey to be able to recognize every one of those!!! Thanx for the entertainment!!

  9. #9
    Preston
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    Speedi they have been teaching this in Alabama for YEARS. Thanks for the laugh.

  10. #10
    jalbritt
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    Whoad thunk weed lernt a dadburn thang if it wernt for that word album you wrote. True florida Cracker. JHA

  11. #11
    Speedi120
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink

    Correct english? Hmmm, is that right? I'm going to have to think about that one.

  12. #12
    F02
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Smile

    Had a fella from down south come in my garage once wanting me to check his "bat tree".After the third time of me asking "what"? He replys "BAT TREE My car do'nt start so good".

  13. #13
    daysleeper47
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    GOD BLESS OHIO!!!

  14. #14
    chiefjay4
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Speed: I am not sure what part of the north you were in, but it sure wasn't the parts i've been in

  15. #15
    Speedi120
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    ChiefJay,
    I have talked to people from Michigan, PA, and Ohio that have talked maybe not as bad as that but pretty close to it. How many of you know what a mater is? Well, this southern girl didn't. And as far as I know that is suppose to be Southern slang. Yes us Southerners tend to be lazy with our speech, yes we tend to take short cuts. Thus you all become Y'all, and tomato becomes mater. But I personally would not live any other place.



    [This message has been edited by Speedi120 (edited October 09, 2000).]

  16. #16
    eCappy
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Talking

    Ah, the South!

    I spent a year there one weekend.

    Please ..... just kidding!

  17. #17
    Speedi120
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post



    [This message has been edited by Speedi120 (edited October 09, 2000).]

  18. #18
    chiefjay4
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink

    Easy speed....AS we say up north: "I was just breaking your balls" LOL

    If you want e-mail me I have some other funny posts like yours but from the north.
    chiefjay4@aol.com

    [This message has been edited by chiefjay4 (edited October 10, 2000).]

  19. #19
    Speedi120
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Ummmm, Jay
    I don't have ....... never mind.

    Have a great day and be safe.

  20. #20
    daysleeper47
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Post

    Hey speedi,
    What gives? Haven't seen you in the firefighters forum for a while...am I blind? come on back.

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