1. #1
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Wink I'MMMMMMM BAAAAAACk!!!!!!

    Subject: Y'allbonics

    Subject: Southern Association of Colleges

    Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of
    Colleges and Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach
    Y'allbonics in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Included
    are some samples of Y'allbonics. If you do not understand any of them,
    contact your closest southern bubba for an explanation.

    Y'allbonics/English dictionary
    HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
    Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
    BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
    Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
    JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
    Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
    BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
    "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
    MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
    Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd
    him in munts."
    THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
    Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
    BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
    "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
    IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
    Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
    RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I
    my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard
    a few munts ago."
    ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
    Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
    FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
    Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup
    that thing's gonna catch far."
    TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
    Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat
    tar in my pickup truck."
    TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
    Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, sure hope to see that
    Tire in Pars sometime."
    RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
    Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
    FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
    Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
    RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
    Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
    CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
    Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."
    FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
    Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn
    DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
    Usage "He's did, Jim."
    ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; Oxygen.
    Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"
    BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
    Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
    JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
    Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war
    fence cump'ny?"
    HAZE - a contraction.
    Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a
    in'is laf."
    SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
    VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
    Usage "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"
    GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
    Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

  2. #2
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Whooo Boy !!

    I understood almost all of those without the explination. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry !!

    Being a southern boy myself - I find that things like this just serve to prove my theory ->

    If you can't laugh at yourself, someone else will do it for you

    Thanks for the laughs Speedi !!

    Take Care - Stay Safe

    [This message has been edited by N2DFire (edited October 05, 2000).]

  3. #3
    Firehouse.com Guest


    A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the
    tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room
    doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

    "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off
    the tip of your finger?"

    "No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I
    thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"

    "So, then?" asked the doctor.

    "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my
    teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"

    "So, then?"

    "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud
    noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

    N2DFire, being a Southern girl and a Blonde, I find that it is best to always laugh at yourself before someone else gets the chance. Enjoy Y'all lol

  4. #4
    Firehouse.com Guest


    If you get into East Texas, people actually talk like that!

  5. #5
    Firehouse.com Guest


    They blame talk like that on the South, but the truth is that people from all over the US are prone to such speech. I have talked to people from the North that has never set foot on Southern soil and they talk just like that. I don't think that it is so much where you are from but how much education you have received.

  6. #6
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Thank God us Yanks don't tawlk like youse guys.


    The statements above are my own opinions

    FF Greg Grudzinski
    Oaklyn Fire Dept.
    Station 18-3

  7. #7
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Speedi --
    Sorry, the East Texas thing is more of an inside joke. Around here its considered the hillbilly part of the state. Kinda like our version of Arkansas.

    I'm not a native Texan -- moved here from Michigan 6 years ago -- so I don't have an accent, since everyone knows that midwestern english is the correct form and everyone else has accents!

  8. #8
    Firehouse.com Guest

    Thumbs up

    I have to agree with N2D - kind of scarey to be able to recognize every one of those!!! Thanx for the entertainment!!

  9. #9
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Speedi they have been teaching this in Alabama for YEARS. Thanks for the laugh.

  10. #10
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Whoad thunk weed lernt a dadburn thang if it wernt for that word album you wrote. True florida Cracker. JHA

  11. #11
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Correct english? Hmmm, is that right? I'm going to have to think about that one.

  12. #12
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Had a fella from down south come in my garage once wanting me to check his "bat tree".After the third time of me asking "what"? He replys "BAT TREE My car do'nt start so good".

  13. #13
    Firehouse.com Guest



  14. #14
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Speed: I am not sure what part of the north you were in, but it sure wasn't the parts i've been in

  15. #15
    Firehouse.com Guest


    I have talked to people from Michigan, PA, and Ohio that have talked maybe not as bad as that but pretty close to it. How many of you know what a mater is? Well, this southern girl didn't. And as far as I know that is suppose to be Southern slang. Yes us Southerners tend to be lazy with our speech, yes we tend to take short cuts. Thus you all become Y'all, and tomato becomes mater. But I personally would not live any other place.

    [This message has been edited by Speedi120 (edited October 09, 2000).]

  16. #16
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Ah, the South!

    I spent a year there one weekend.

    Please ..... just kidding!

  17. #17
    Firehouse.com Guest


    [This message has been edited by Speedi120 (edited October 09, 2000).]

  18. #18
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Easy speed....AS we say up north: "I was just breaking your balls" LOL

    If you want e-mail me I have some other funny posts like yours but from the north.

    [This message has been edited by chiefjay4 (edited October 10, 2000).]

  19. #19
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Ummmm, Jay
    I don't have ....... never mind.

    Have a great day and be safe.

  20. #20
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Hey speedi,
    What gives? Haven't seen you in the firefighters forum for a while...am I blind? come on back.

  21. #21
    Firehouse.com Guest


    I love it all the yanks making fun of us Southern ladies and gentlemen.... Do have one question for you North East yanks... how do you mow d yaad??? hehe... and my favorite from the Sapranos... Get outa here which as I understand can mean anything from cool to the kiss of death...

    [This message has been edited by apatrol (edited October 10, 2000).]

  22. #22
    Firehouse.com Guest


    35 Signs You might be a Yankee if....

    1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
    2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
    3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
    4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
    5) You don't know what a moon pie is.
    6) You've never had grain alcohol.
    7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
    8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
    9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
    10) You have no idea what a polecat is.
    11) Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
    12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
    13) You don't have bangs.
    14) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
    15) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
    16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
    17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
    18) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
    19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.
    20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at
    your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
    21) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
    22) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from
    getting on an on-ramp on the highway.
    23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
    24) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
    25) You call binoculars opera glasses.
    26) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
    27) You would never wear pink or an appliqued sweatshirt.
    28) You don't know what appliqued is.
    29) Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within the context of a football game.
    30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
    31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
    32) You've never been to a craft show.
    33) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
    34) You can't do your laundry without quarters.
    35) None of your fur coats are homemade.

  23. #23
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Here is a funny guide to speaking "Boston", since we all know they don't speak English (Just kidding)

  24. #24
    Firehouse.com Guest


    There is only one problem with the post about yanks, some of those fit me.
    4, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 23, 30, 35

    Does that mean that I am part yankee?

  25. #25
    Firehouse.com Guest


    Everything south of Baltimore and west of Pittsburgh should just be renamed "West Virginia"



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