Thread: Best joke...

  1. #1
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    Poin28's Avatar
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    Default Best joke...

    I need a good joke to break the ice at are Awards banquet on Saturday night. I'm the M.C. and don't want to sound "stuffy and straight laced" so I need something to throw in. Let's here your best firehouse joke.....

    Thanks....

    Lynn Fernbaugh, Lt128
    Washington Fire Co. #1
    Mechanicsburg, PA
    Lynn Fernbaugh
    Washington Fire Co. #1
    Mechanicsburg, PA 17055
    www.washies.org

  2. #2
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    Talking If you can't laugh at your self ..........

    There are three kinds of ff's....# 1 the one's that cann't count and ... #3 the one's that can
    J.B.WEIR
    Summerville Vol Fire Dept
    Pride In Service !

  3. #3
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    Blue on Black's Avatar
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    A fireman had twins. You know what he named them:

    Hose A and Hose B


    Good Luck

  4. #4
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    It's Christmas time and weary traveler is lost in a small southern town. He's about to give up looking for the main road when he sees the town Minister setting up the Manger display in the front of the church. The man stops, gets out of his car, and wanders over to ask the pastor for directions. Before he can say anything he notices that all the wise men are dressed in turnout gear, their faces black with soot. The man says to the pastor" I stopped to ask you for directions, but I notice that all your wise men are dressed like firemen, am I missing somthing?" The pastor looks at the man and says in a slow southern drawl " Boy, Don't you read the Baable"? To that the man replies " Of course I do! " The pastor then says " Heck son!, then you should know EVERYONE knows that the wise men came from a far".

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    crashbgfdchick's Avatar
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    Default okay, maybe not appropriate for mass audience (but still my favorite!)

    A downtown fire station got a call for a highrise apartment fire. They came around the corner, red lights and sirens, and saw smoke billowing out of the windows. Most people evacuated safely, but one firefighter saw a beautiful woman on the 10th floor - screaming with fear to be saved.

    This brave firefighter raised the aerial, and boldly climbed up to her rescue. The woman began to calm down as she saw her hero climb closer and closer.

    As the firefighter climbed his last few rungs to her window, he tells the woman "You're the first pregnant woman I've climbed to rescue from a fire"

    "But I'm not pregnant", she contests.

    He replies and corrects her..."You haven't been rescued yet, either"
    Spec. Krista M. Aukeman, United States Army

    Some day, in years to come, you will be wrestling with the great temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the real struggle is here, now, in these quiet weeks. Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process.
    - Phillips Brooks

  6. #6
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    Talking C.H.A.O.S.

    Here's a good one, what does "C.H.A.O.S." stand for??? "Chief Has Arrived On Scene. good luck and have fun. peace
    Matt G. Warminster Fire Dept. Station 90
    IAFF Local F-106

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    Default

    A man was driving thru West Texas & he saw a farmer walking down the road, trotting along side the farmer was a pig with a wooden leg. The man was a little curious so he pulled over said "Thats some pig you got there".

    The farmer said "This pig is an amazing pig. See all those oil wells over there in that field? Well one day this here pig was out there in those fields when there was nothin' there & he was just a rootin' & goin' crazy, so I decided to sink some oil wells there. Darned if I didn't hit oil & hit it big. I am rich man today because of this here pig".

    "Wow, thats amazing", said the man, "but what about the wooden.."

    "Wait a minute buddy, I ain't thru yet", the farmer said, "This here pig is a hero pig. One night when my family & I were asleep the house caught fire. Well this here pig came running into the house. He pulled my little girl out to safety. Then he ran back in & woke up me & my wife & led us thru all the smoke & fire out into the yard. Shoot, we are all alive today because of this here pig, he's a hero pig!"

    "Wow, thats incredible! But what about the wooden leg?", the man asked.

    The farmer replied,"Well heck son, you don't eat a pig like this all at once!"

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    Default

    This has been posted a couple of times before, I dont remember who the posters were to give credit but here goes.

    Did you know that they have revised the fire tetrahedron to be a pentahedron (five sided pyramid)?

    Now five things are necessary:

    Oxygen
    Fuel
    Heat
    Chemical chain reaction
    Chief

    Take any one of the five away and the fire goes out!

    Good luck
    Shawn M. Cecula
    Firefighter
    IACOJ Division of Fire and EMS

  9. #9
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    fire266's Avatar
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    I'm not good at jokes but I thought this was cute:

    A lady called the fire house the other day screaming "My house is on fire, My house is on fire" I asked the lady,"how do we get there?, She said don't you still have those big red trucks!"
    ???? Good Luck!
    Michael W. Gorley C.F.P.S.
    SAFETY FIRST! / Certified Fire Protection Specialist (NFPA) /Fire Fighter

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    A fireman went outside to soke a cagarette and noticed the little boy across the had his wagon set up like a fire engine and had it tied to his dog. He went over to the little boy and said thats a mighty fine fire engine you have there son. The little boy said thank you sir its just like yours. The fireman says is that so? The little boy says yes sir. The fireman looks at the dog and notices that the little boy has the rope thats tied to the wagon and the dog is tied to the dog by his testicles and tells the little boy " ya know son if you ties the rope to the dog's tail instead of his testicles he walk a little bit faster and then the boy says I know but then I wouldnt have a siren.
    LADIES LOVE ME.
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