Thread: 1 Bad American

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    Cool 1 Bad American

    This isn't really fire related....but enjoy it anyway. I hope. I thought it was penned by Ted Nugent, but the email which I got this with said it was George Carlin. Either way, I think it's a masterpiece.


    I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English. I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way. I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents. I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches? And where does he get his money? And why is he always part of the problem and not the solution?
    I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex for both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United States. I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy *** through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality. I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.
    I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it. I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I am freezing my *** through a long winter? I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut up already. I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry *** if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your *** over if you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation of the world for the next four years. I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again. I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.
    I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. I think Dr. Seuss was a genius. I 'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise. If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

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    Whoo Hoo... me too.

    Does that mean I have dual citizenship now?

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    Default Right on!

    And that's the way I like to be!!

    code_blue81
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    Thumbs up

    Damn enginecappy, I'll be right there watching the 4th of July parade with you! PS; If I start to tear up at the sight of the American flag and/or the National Anthem, please excuse me...
    My posts reflect my views and opinions, not the organization I work for or my IAFF local. Some of which they may not agree. I.A.C.O.J. member
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    Thumbs up HELLLLL YEAH!

    That just about says it all!
    FTM-PTB
    trk4

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    Default oh yeah!!!

    That says it all. Any questions?
    GOD BLESS THOSE WHO WENT BEFORE US

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    To quote the Great Mongo:Bing-freakin-O

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    Amen to that.
    "The more we sweat in training, the less we bleed in battle."

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    I've got a slightly different version posted right on my bedroom door.

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    Talking

    College Buff Said...

    I've got a slightly different version posted right on my bedroom door.
    Thats why I posted it here. I was tired of having to squint reading that copy on your bedroom door. It was ruining my eyes.

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    That sounds more like Ted Nugent than George Carlin. Carlin is a bit too liberal to write something like this. Did we ever find out the author?

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    It is Carlin and it's several years old. This went throught the e-mail cycle years ago and now with everything that's happened recently it's surfaced again.
    Steve Dragon
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    I.A.C.O.J. Charter Member
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    "Not for fame or reward,Not for place or rank. Not lured by ambition or goaded by necessity. But in simple obedience to duty as they understood it. These men suffered,sacrificed,dared all, and died. Let us never forget our fallen friends."

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    How true it is! I wish I could remember all of it, just for those opportune times!
    Last edited by quint1driver; 05-02-2002 at 12:02 PM.

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    I would love to post this on my office door, but all the bleeding hearts would say that I am "insensitive".

    Whatever happened to the concept of right and wrong in this country?

    I still think that this was Ted Nugent, I will look for it.
    9/11/01 Never forget Never forgive

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  16. #16
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    Talking NOT...By George

    I don't know who wrote it....but it's not "By George."

    Excerpt from Carlin.com regarding "Bad American."
    Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.

    Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.

    And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.
    Further comments are available at his official website...AND IT"S A GOOD ONE! Visit at your own risk!!

    http://www.georgecarlin.com
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  17. #17
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    I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.
    Here, Here!

    My heroes are John Wayne
    Here, Here Again!

    I believe that you shouldn't have to be told over a PA system to stand and put your hand over your heart when the Flag is passing and the National Anthem is playing..........

    Just my amendment to the original post .
    BKE
    Proud to be an American.

    "No animals were used in the posting of this thread. Two sticks of bubble gum and a hulahoop yes, animals no..."

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    Originally posted by enginecappy
    College Buff Said...



    Thats why I posted it here. I was tired of having to squint reading that copy on your bedroom door. It was ruining my eyes.

    You're scaring me Cap... How's you know the print was small??????


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