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Thread: After Hours Pubs

  1. #4201
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    The favorite gift of the past few years has been some Muscadine Wine that is made by a vineyard in Natchez, MS, called Old South. That will be the primary gift for this year.
    I got off a towboat in Natchez 21 years ago and the guy driving me up the hill to the bus station wanted to stop off at a bar.
    The bouncer stopped me and asked "Are you carrying any weapons of any sort,to include knives with a blade more than four inches in length,any firearm,any kind of stun gun,any chemical spray to include Mace(tm),any impact weapon like a tire knocker,brass knuckles or police baton?"
    I said,"No,I just got off a boat and I'm on my way home after having a beer or three".
    The bouncer laughed as he rounded the counter going to a cabinet behind it which he opened to reveal an arsenal of stuff more impressive than what Rutger Hauer had on his wall in "Wanted: Dead or Alive".
    He then asked me "Wanna buy one?Yer gonna need it."
    Last edited by doughesson; 02-05-2010 at 03:09 PM.


  2. #4202
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    I got stopped in Natchez for running a "red" light once with a heavy load of stainless steel plates on my flatbed. I had a car running behind me, who also followed me through the intersection where there was a local cop sitting, waiting on the light. I passed under the light as it turned yellow, then watched in dis-belief as the car came on well behind me. The local officer, feeling his oats, came and stopped both of us. He talked to me first, and told me to wait after getting my license. Then, he went to the car, and after several minutes, it was clear that he wrote the lady a ticket. Then was my turn. He asked to see my insurance card. After a lengthy discussion about the piece of paper, which was an entire page from my insurance company describing the one million dollar liability as well as a physical damage policy on my 1996 Freightliner and 2001 Fontaine Flatbed, I soon realized that I had one of those know it all's. He swore that I should have a plastic card for my insurance--wrong. Not on my Commercial Vehicle. Then the officer's statement was "You ran that red light in front of me." to which I adamantly replied that I had not, and was legally proceeding through the green light as it turned yellow with 40,000lbs of stainless steel sheets pushing me down the road. I added that I couldn't believe that the car behind me didn't stop, because she was a lot further behind me, and there was no way in He77 that I could have stopped for that light if I wanted to when it went yellow.(midway of my trailer as I watched the car following me..) I guess you'd have to know that I am the type of person who never talks back to an officer of the law, but that local wannabe had pushed the right buttons. He stood there and argued with me, about the incident, to which I kept a consistent answer over and over that it had meerly turned yellow for me, and red for the car. After realizing I wouldn't admit to guilt (and about 10 minutes), he handed my insurance paper back and went to check my record.. Clear--No Violations.. He came back and gave me my license and then he told me to never let him catch me running that light in "his town" again..

    I love Natchez, MS..








    If you pass through Natchez, MS, be carefull if you get behind a certain flatbed truck. That fellow always stops at the same traffic light, whether it is green, yellow, or red... The third light going south on Hwy 61 (just before you get to the Wendy's).
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  3. #4203
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    Talking Hey ANNAPOLIS Guys!

    Any of you figure this one out?

    how many bricks

    Posted: 11 Jan 2010 10:14 PM PST

    While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

    “What are they doing?” I asked our tour guide.


    “Each year,” he replied with a grin, “The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.”

    “So what’s the answer?” my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen.

    The guide replied, “One.”


    ===
    Marriage

    Posted: 11 Jan 2010 10:14 PM PST

    A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asks him: “How many women can a man marry?”

    “Sixteen!” replies the little boy.

    His cousin laughed and asked how he knew this.

    “Easy,” the little boy said. “All you have to do is add it up! 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer!”
    ==

    Women’s humor

    Posted: 11 Jan 2010 10:14 PM PST

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

    Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”


    “It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”

    He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”

    And they say blondes are dumb…

  4. #4204
    Forum Member PaladinKnight's Avatar
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    “It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”

    He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”
    Use hot water and add two cups of bleech.
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

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    Talking

    Gotta love that fairy!

    Posted: 11 Jan 2010 10:14 PM PST

    A man and his wife, now in their 60’s, were celebrating their

    40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.

    The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

    Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

    The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger…

    Whoosh…immediately he turned ninety!!!

    Gotta love that fairy!

  6. #4206
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    It is nice to see that some people had the right priorities during the recent cold weather!

    "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin

  7. #4207
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    Ok, who put "Pants on the Ground" in the jukebox rotation??
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  8. #4208
    Forum Member firecat1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    Ok, who put "Pants on the Ground" in the jukebox rotation??
    I don't know but get it the H3!! out of there!!!

    WHEW! Let's see... AC/DC, Hells Bells check. Alabama, Forever's as Far, check. Gretchen Wilson, Redneck Woman, check... What's on the rest of that list, Rh?

  9. #4209
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    Jimmy Buffet, Margarittaville
    Freddy Fender, Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
    Lynyrd Skynyrd, Free Byrd, Three Steps, and Sweet Home Alabama..
    Bob Seger, Turn the Page, and Night Moves...
    hmm..
    looks like some Hank Jr, Rowdy Friends... Born to Boogie..
    also Faron Young, Wine me Up.

    Here's some Hank Sr. -Honky Tonkin'
    and even some Willie Nelson, Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain..

    Sarah Evans, Faith Hill, Cinderella, Poison, Def Leppard...

    WHAT THE HE77.... Michael Bolton.... Who put this in here????
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  10. #4210
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    Talking Songs

    Sweet Home Alabama, the "NATIONAL ANTHEM OF THE SOUTH"

    I drove from Jacksonville, FLA. to New Orleans on I-10 about 10 hours and I swear while flipping through the radio stations I heard Sweet Home Alabama every hour of that 10 hour trip. It's OK cause I think it's a great song and enjoyed it every time I heard It!!!!

  11. #4211
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    WHAT THE HE77.... Michael Bolton.... Who put this in here????
    Not me, someone's gonna have their Pub privileges revoked for that one.

    What about Styx and Queen? Oh whew, there they are.

  12. #4212
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    I think I'll get the key and swap out the Bolton for some classic Percy Sledge..
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  13. #4213
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    What no Clapton or Springsteen?

    Just for that I'm slippin' in some Orbison.

    That will wake you up...
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

  14. #4214
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaladinKnight View Post
    What no Clapton or Springsteen?

    Just for that I'm slippin' in some Orbison.

    That will wake you up...
    Of course there's Eric and The Boss! Feel free to leave Roy tho. I think there's even a couple of Beatles in there, and The Kinks too!

  15. #4215
    Forum Member rhvfd1214's Avatar
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    Don't forget the classic Jimmy Buffet song, "Why Don't we get Drunk...."

    What happened to the Karokee catalog of songs? I can't find those cds anywhere? I was wanting to try my voice on "Lean on Me."

    Just my luck....
    I fish for a living, but I have to work for money...

  16. #4216
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    Ok, who put "Pants on the Ground" in the jukebox rotation??
    Oh dear God.
    They shouldn't have their pub privileges revoked.They need to be forced buy rounds for the house all evening while listening to earbuds connected to an iPod with diabled controls and nothing in rotation but "We Are the World" over and over and over and over and...

  17. #4217
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    FREEBIRD! Sing "Shove It!"
    Quote Originally Posted by donethat View Post
    Sweet Home Alabama, the "NATIONAL ANTHEM OF THE SOUTH"

    I drove from Jacksonville, FLA. to New Orleans on I-10 about 10 hours and I swear while flipping through the radio stations I heard Sweet Home Alabama every hour of that 10 hour trip. It's OK cause I think it's a great song and enjoyed it every time I heard It!!!!

  18. #4218
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    Quote Originally Posted by rhvfd1214 View Post
    I think I'll get the key and swap out the Bolton for some classic Percy Sledge..

    I got a halligan in my truck.Show me enroute on mutual aid.If that doesn't work,we can call my cousin Lefty to bring some dynamite from 'Bama.

  19. #4219
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    Quote Originally Posted by doughesson View Post
    we can call my cousin Lefty to bring some dynamite from 'Bama.
    How to kill a good juke in one easy lesson.
    HAVE PLAN.............WILL TRAVEL

  20. #4220
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaladinKnight View Post
    How to kill a good juke in one easy lesson.
    I dunno.Those old Rock-o-Las are pretty tough.Tough enough that some ol' boy can be bounced off the top on his way out to the parking lot with the bouncers.If was a Wurlitzer...

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