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12-06-2002, 10:30 AM #21Forum Member
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- Oct 1999
- Location
- Why? It's not like you're going to visit me! But I'm near Waco, Texas
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- 2,378
NREMT-P\ Volunteer Fire Chief\Tactical Paramedic
IACOJ Attack
Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.
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12-06-2002, 10:58 AM #22Forum Member
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- Apr 2002
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- 2,236
....of which he borrowed off of the crazy old lady across the street...who was in her front yard with her housegown flung over her head...and she was...was...OMG!!...Struggling just like the dog??!!?? MY WORD!!! What did that woman eat?? Now more than ever I was compelled to watch as she grunted and strained...shaking and shivering under the magnolia....Now was the time to take action......
May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.
I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer
E6511
"Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree
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12-06-2002, 11:10 AM #23MembersZone Subscriber
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- May 2000
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- 2,987
...I ran into the house to get my 9 iron. You see, the crazy old lady rarely cut her lawn so a 5 iron just wouldn't do. As I came out the door, there she was, face down on the ground. I went back for my sand wedge...
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12-06-2002, 11:30 AM #24Truckie
- Join Date
- Mar 1999
- Location
- St Paul, MN
- Posts
- 2,329
...but before I could return, there was that dog. An evil grin spread on his face, firery trinkle in his eye, right then and there I knew the dog was going to...
My posts reflect my views and opinions, not the organization I work for or my IAFF local. Some of which they may not agree. I.A.C.O.J. member
"I ask, Sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people. To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them."
George Mason
Co-author of the Second Amendment
during Virginia's Convention to Ratify the Constitution, 1788
Elevator Rescue Information
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12-06-2002, 11:42 AM #25MembersZone Subscriber
- Join Date
- May 2000
- Posts
- 2,987
...ask for a drop. His ball had landed in a hazard.
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12-06-2002, 12:03 PM #26Forum Member
- Join Date
- Oct 1999
- Location
- Why? It's not like you're going to visit me! But I'm near Waco, Texas
- Posts
- 2,378
The hazard being a cow pasture with a bull angerily standing over the ball. The bull's eye was bruised, giving me a pretty good idea of where the ball hit him. I considered my options and resorted to....
NREMT-P\ Volunteer Fire Chief\Tactical Paramedic
IACOJ Attack
Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.
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12-06-2002, 12:18 PM #27Forum Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Posts
- 2,236
Viagra....Let me tell you what, that poor little dog got some lovin' like he had never experienced before. It's amazing just how quickly that little blue pill got into the bull's bloodstream. Now our canine friend found himself..........
May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.
I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer
E6511
"Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree
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12-06-2002, 12:32 PM #28MembersZone Subscriber
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- Mar 2002
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- Loco madidus effercio in rutilus effercio.
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- 12,819
.... So, I looked around and considered my options...... Hmmm this is NOT LOOKING GOOD AT ALL!!!
I thought of using my "foot-wedge", but the bull was kinda get'n too close to the ball, so that option fell through.
Then I considered just goiong the cowards way out and taking my Mulligan... NAAAAAAAAA I just can't do that.
Then I found my answer..... it was time to bring out my "Extra Special Heavy Duty Golfers Delight". It was time to call on my best Friend, Mr Colt45. (Now I know what yo'all are think'n and that ain't nice! I did not shoot the bull! I might have hit the cow patty, but I DID NOT SHOOT THE BULL!!)
Well wasn't it the darndest thing. I lined up on that there li'l white ball and I blasted at for at least 5 rounds before I sent it off at a great rate of knots ------- in the WRONG FRIGG'N DIRECTION!! Up up up it went.... over the fence into the air it went............If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)
"I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD
"Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination."
(Me)
Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!
impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto
IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.
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12-06-2002, 12:35 PM #29MembersZone Subscriber
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- May 2000
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- 2,987
My dog "sheepishly" heading back to the house. I, on the otherhand, continued across the street. The crazy old lady was still face down and I noticed the golfball 'tween her cheeks. A TITLEST! This was my ball as was the ball my dog had passed.
I stood over her, her skin glistened in the moonlight. Her thighs were like cottage cheese and her cheeks like a St. Andrews poc bunker. "Helllloooo Ball" I said, and picked the ball clean with my sand wedge.
She jumped to her feet and said...
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12-06-2002, 12:38 PM #30Truckie
- Join Date
- Mar 1999
- Location
- St Paul, MN
- Posts
- 2,329
...hi handsome, you are the man of my dreams, let me slip out of these bloomers, and we can...
My posts reflect my views and opinions, not the organization I work for or my IAFF local. Some of which they may not agree. I.A.C.O.J. member
"I ask, Sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people. To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them."
George Mason
Co-author of the Second Amendment
during Virginia's Convention to Ratify the Constitution, 1788
Elevator Rescue Information
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12-06-2002, 01:21 PM #31Forum Member
- Join Date
- Oct 1999
- Location
- Why? It's not like you're going to visit me! But I'm near Waco, Texas
- Posts
- 2,378
get down to business. "how would you like to be my pimp?", she asked me. i stood there fabergasted and yelled, "you can't have my pudding, it's mine. i ate my serving of meat, now i can have pudding!" i ran off towards a flock of pidgeons and watched them take flight. i was rained on a few times by the birds but otherwise came out the better. suddenly standing to my left was....
NREMT-P\ Volunteer Fire Chief\Tactical Paramedic
IACOJ Attack
Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.
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12-06-2002, 01:41 PM #32Forum Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Posts
- 2,236
....Boy George and Nipsy Russell.......
May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.
I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer
E6511
"Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree
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12-06-2002, 01:42 PM #33MembersZone Subscriber
- Join Date
- Jun 2000
- Location
- 911 N. Sycamore St. Yep, that's really our address.
- Posts
- 2,604
Cedevoe, handing me a beer. "No, thanks," I said, "I'm on call tonight." He was incredulous. I was in stitches. He turned to walk away when suddenly....
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12-06-2002, 01:43 PM #34MembersZone Subscriber
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- May 2000
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- 2,987
...he fell flat on his face. I teed up another ball and...
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12-06-2002, 01:52 PM #35Forum Member
- Join Date
- Oct 1999
- Location
- Why? It's not like you're going to visit me! But I'm near Waco, Texas
- Posts
- 2,378
...realized i was playing on a frisbee golf course.
NREMT-P\ Volunteer Fire Chief\Tactical Paramedic
IACOJ Attack
Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.
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12-06-2002, 01:56 PM #36Forum Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2000
- Location
- Somewhere between genius and insanity!
- Posts
- 13,227
I suddenly heard a quartet of female voices....It was the Women of the Tundra...Tempie, Cheffie Pfire and Respect from Calgary...they were all wearing shortshorts and Hooters t-shirts one size too small to show their "attributes"...they asked if they could play through..the sight of them made my putter flutter.....
"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY
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12-06-2002, 01:58 PM #37Forum Member
- Join Date
- Oct 1999
- Location
- Why? It's not like you're going to visit me! But I'm near Waco, Texas
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- 2,378
...and the thought of yelling "FOUR" never inspired me more.
NREMT-P\ Volunteer Fire Chief\Tactical Paramedic
IACOJ Attack
Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.
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12-06-2002, 02:13 PM #38IACOJ BOD
- Join Date
- May 2002
- Location
- New Zealand
- Posts
- 4,757
Suddenly the 'Women of the Tundra' reappeared wearing wetsuits.
"Oh look" I thought to myself, "Four skin divers."Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.
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12-06-2002, 02:25 PM #39Forum Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2002
- Posts
- 2,236
So Boy George, Nipsey Russell and The Women of the Tundra begin to.....
May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.
I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer
E6511
"Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree
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12-06-2002, 02:30 PM #40MembersZone Subscriber
- Join Date
- Aug 2002
- Location
- Chicago area
- Posts
- 780
...sing "Karma Chameleon" in Swahili...
"We shouldn't be opening firehouses in Baghdad and closing them in New York City."
IACOJ
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