1. #26
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    The hazard being a cow pasture with a bull angerily standing over the ball. The bull's eye was bruised, giving me a pretty good idea of where the ball hit him. I considered my options and resorted to....
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  2. #27
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    Viagra....Let me tell you what, that poor little dog got some lovin' like he had never experienced before. It's amazing just how quickly that little blue pill got into the bull's bloodstream. Now our canine friend found himself..........
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

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    .... So, I looked around and considered my options...... Hmmm this is NOT LOOKING GOOD AT ALL!!!

    I thought of using my "foot-wedge", but the bull was kinda get'n too close to the ball, so that option fell through.

    Then I considered just goiong the cowards way out and taking my Mulligan... NAAAAAAAAA I just can't do that.

    Then I found my answer..... it was time to bring out my "Extra Special Heavy Duty Golfers Delight". It was time to call on my best Friend, Mr Colt45. (Now I know what yo'all are think'n and that ain't nice! I did not shoot the bull! I might have hit the cow patty, but I DID NOT SHOOT THE BULL!!)

    Well wasn't it the darndest thing. I lined up on that there li'l white ball and I blasted at for at least 5 rounds before I sent it off at a great rate of knots ------- in the WRONG FRIGG'N DIRECTION!! Up up up it went.... over the fence into the air it went............
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

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  4. #29
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    My dog "sheepishly" heading back to the house. I, on the otherhand, continued across the street. The crazy old lady was still face down and I noticed the golfball 'tween her cheeks. A TITLEST! This was my ball as was the ball my dog had passed.

    I stood over her, her skin glistened in the moonlight. Her thighs were like cottage cheese and her cheeks like a St. Andrews poc bunker. "Helllloooo Ball" I said, and picked the ball clean with my sand wedge.

    She jumped to her feet and said...

  5. #30
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    ...hi handsome, you are the man of my dreams, let me slip out of these bloomers, and we can...
    My posts reflect my views and opinions, not the organization I work for or my IAFF local. Some of which they may not agree. I.A.C.O.J. member
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    Elevator Rescue Information

  6. #31
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    get down to business. "how would you like to be my pimp?", she asked me. i stood there fabergasted and yelled, "you can't have my pudding, it's mine. i ate my serving of meat, now i can have pudding!" i ran off towards a flock of pidgeons and watched them take flight. i was rained on a few times by the birds but otherwise came out the better. suddenly standing to my left was....
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    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

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    ....Boy George and Nipsy Russell.......
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

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    Cedevoe, handing me a beer. "No, thanks," I said, "I'm on call tonight." He was incredulous. I was in stitches. He turned to walk away when suddenly....
    Omnis Cedo Domus

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  9. #34
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    ...he fell flat on his face. I teed up another ball and...

  10. #35
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    ...realized i was playing on a frisbee golf course.
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
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    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  11. #36
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    I suddenly heard a quartet of female voices....It was the Women of the Tundra...Tempie, Cheffie Pfire and Respect from Calgary...they were all wearing shortshorts and Hooters t-shirts one size too small to show their "attributes"...they asked if they could play through..the sight of them made my putter flutter.....
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
    Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

  12. #37
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    ...and the thought of yelling "FOUR" never inspired me more.
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  13. #38
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    Suddenly the 'Women of the Tundra' reappeared wearing wetsuits.

    "Oh look" I thought to myself, "Four skin divers."
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  14. #39
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    So Boy George, Nipsey Russell and The Women of the Tundra begin to.....
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    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

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  15. #40
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    ...sing "Karma Chameleon" in Swahili...
    "We shouldn't be opening firehouses in Baghdad and closing them in New York City."

    IACOJ

  16. #41
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    ... wrestle in the mud. The fountain nearby provided plentiful amounts of water. I realized that the mud was coming from all the divets I was creating trying to hit the dog with the 7 iron. I admit watching the six of them in the wet, dirty, brown mud just made me want to...
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  17. #42
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    ...clean these thoughts up a little. I got a 5 gallon can of High-Ex foam and...

  18. #43
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    ....dumped it in the booster tank. I then let fly with the 1000gpm fog tip and washed the whole gutter-minded lot down. The we all went to Pour Jim's and....




    (P.S. where does a guy come up with a portrait of Nipsey Russel that fast!! StayBack, you amaze me! )
    Omnis Cedo Domus

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  19. #44
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    ...waited for cdevoe to buy us all a round as we were off duty....
    Chris Minick, P.E., Firefighter II
    Structures Specialist, MD-TF 1

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  20. #45
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    ......keeping our palms across the top of our glasses of course since that monkey was still around........

  21. #46
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    suddenly I heard a piano playing in the background it all
    started to make sense it was...
    IAFF

  22. #47
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    de jevu all over again, but wait, we have been there before.

    The monkey came around the bar again offering everyone nuts, claiming he could not go outside as it was cold enough...
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  23. #48
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    freeze the balls off a brass monkey on this dark and stormy night. I noticed that the monkey was wearing a...
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  24. #49
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    "Tin Cup". I was shocked to say the least, when I realized that the "brass" colour was really....
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  25. #50
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    ...a nasty rash. Not wanting anything to do with those monkey viruses, out the door I went. And the wind howled and in the distance I could see...could it be??? IT WAS! A tumble weed and it was in flames...

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