1. #51
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    Sher wanders over to the bar, sees there is mistletoe hanging from the bar over drk, gives him a big SMOOOOOOOCHHHHHHHH on the lips, sits down on the stool next to him and asks,"you watching the Flames and Colorado game?"
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  2. #52
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    I will guard the bottle of Port. For those who don't drink it, you have no idea what you're missing....Now on with the festivities..I will be the one with the Santa Claus lampshade on my head..

  3. #53
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    as the music dies down the attending members of the I.A.C.O.J. are sipping their drinks and sharing idol conversations and "battle stories." When all of a sudden....

    THE DOOR BUSTS OPEN

    FF26 comes in with a keg of Guinness on his shoulder and full case of the best rum Bacardi has to offer under his arm.

    MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!

    Just then, Respt plays the next song..... Let the Good Times Roll by the Cars....

    Guess what everyone, I cashed in the empties that where left behind at my bachelor party and there was enough to pay for this evenings beverages. So, the drinks are on the house.!

    << hooks up the foam inductor to the Barcardi and then to coke machine... cracks it WIDE OPEN and starts to pour pre-mixed drinks!!!!
    "No one ever called the Fire Department for doing something smart..."

  4. #54
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    WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO

    Lifts her glass in greeting to 26! *Gasps in surprize* looooooook there's mistletoe over Jason too *wicked evil grin* SMOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH on the lips Merry Christams back at ya!

    LMFAO 'bout time you got here I thought I was late! Did ya get lost on the way???? hehehehe
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  5. #55
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    Dear Robin,
    I will pick you up soon ..................promise a nice night out. I have hear nothing offical and respect it as such. I will be well dressed and leave you a private message tomorrow. Josh
    IACOJ both divisions and PROUD OF IT !
    Pardon me sir.. .....but I believe we are all over here !
    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS: Will the dead horse please report to the forums.(thanks Motown)
    RAY WAS HERE 08/28/05
    LETHA' FOREVA' ! 010607
    I'm sorry, I haven't been paying much attention for the last 3 hours.....what were we discussing?
    "but I guarentee you I will FF your arse off" from>
    http://www.firehouse.com/forums/show...60#post1137060post 115

  6. #56
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    Originally posted by CollegeBuff
    If anyone needs me, I'll be organzing an Explorer detail to fill and prepare the hottub.

    If, by some Christmas miracle Jiffy shows up, send her on in.

    Be carefull near the hottub there's ice around there, Our friend Collegebuff happend to slip on patch of ice and fall in, He's okay folks but we're getting him inside before he catches cold

  7. #57
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    Robin!!!, better late than never.

    Here's a little something I wrote for you, our "Poet Laureate" to sing
    To the tune of Jingle Bells:

    A month or two ago
    I thought we set the date
    We said by 8 oíclock
    But you just walked in late

    I think I understand
    The tinsel in your hair
    But why have you got mistletoe
    Inside your underwear?


    OHHH, Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls
    Jingle to and fro
    Watching all the Crustys outside
    Making yellow snow-oh
    Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls
    Jingle one, two, three
    Why donít you come over here
    And Jingle Balls with me

    We went into the snow
    Iím really glad you came
    I really am amazed
    The way you wrote your name

    You should have had more drinks
    Your nameís a little shy
    My bladder isn't full right now
    So Iíll just dot the ďiĒ


    OHHH, Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls
    Jingle to and fro
    Watching all the Crustys outside
    Making yellow snow-oh
    Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls
    Jingle one, two, three
    Why donít you come over here
    And Jingle Balls with me
    Last edited by E229Lt; 12-15-2002 at 08:23 AM.

  8. #58
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    2 matches and a s**t load of gasoline was all it took to get the fire lit!
    "Now THAT'S A FIRE!" (Eddie Murphy, from "Eddie Murphy Raw")

    So I guess a perfectly respectable kiss on the cheek under the mistletoe is out of the question?
    As long as we keep our eyes open and both feet on the floor!

    ,"you watching the Flames and Colorado game?"
    Oh man! We're watching minor league hockey?

  9. #59
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    OUCH! Nasty, George, nasty!

    Gives Robin a kiss on the cheek, Merry Christmas hon, nice dress hehehe but don't get too close to the fire!

    Here's a little something I DIDN'T write

    Adult night before christmas

    Twas the night before Christmas, and Geez it was neat,
    The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

    The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the
    hook,
    It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

    Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude,
    Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

    When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
    That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

    Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
    Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

    The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
    Showed a broom up his ***, clean up to the hilt.

    When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

    With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
    A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

    Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
    And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

    Whoa ****head, whoa *******, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
    Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

    Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
    Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

    They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
    Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

    And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
    As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

    I was donning my jacket to cover my ***,
    When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

    His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
    He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

    "That was some brothel," he said with a smile, "
    The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here
    awhile.

    He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
    Then whipped out his pecker and ****ed in the sink.

    I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
    The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

    Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
    But his toys were all gone, and some new things were
    packed.

    The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
    The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

    A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
    And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

    A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
    And several other things that I shouldn't even
    mention.

    A **** ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
    A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

    "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will ****,
    So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."

    He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
    With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

    He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
    Thus he fell on his *** and broke wind instead.

    In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
    Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a
    bitch!"

    The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
    "The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

  10. #60
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    i submit this as my white elephant gift. it's a half keg refrigerator. hope some one enjoys it.
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    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  11. #61
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    Kiwi is in da house. I will get behind the bar and help E229Lt to serve up the brews.

    Apologies for my lateness I was teaching an old penguin new tricks.
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    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  12. #62
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    Thanks Ryan,
    Consider it claimed. PFFFFSSSSST

    Bass anyone?

  13. #63
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    merry christmas kiwi. use it if you like it.
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    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  14. #64
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    ROTF Ryan.

    Inside my head is a scary place I don't visit very often.

    Heres one for you
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    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

  15. #65
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    Hi gang!

    Sorry I'm a little late, had to stop at the store to get some snacks. They go over there in the corner? Ok.

    By the way, there's a little fuzzy bird out front setting up a shoe-shine stand...
    Be safe y'all!
    IACOJ Animal Control
    Ladder 8
    "Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati"

  16. #66
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    Talking

    that's alright, there's a cook around back setting up a BBQ pit for the little fuzzy bird.
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

  17. #67
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    Kiwi-I love those penguin pictures! Between you and Artie can you guys whip me up something good and strong and fruity? (besides the two of you, you're both married)

    Ryan- That fuzzy little bird is fuzzy no longer. The grill is going, the bar-b-que spit is turning him nice and crispy and golden brown.

  18. #68
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    Talking

    Oh my God, you are ALL WHACKED!!!!!

    But I am glad to be apart of the IACOJ

    Merry Christmas everyone.

    "We paused for a moment
    To remember our Brothers
    Who laid down their lives
    in the service to others"
    --thank you E229Lt.

    Brin. Peace!
    www.hatfieldfire.org
    www.cornerstonecafe.net e soup

  19. #69
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    Talking I hope I am FASHIONABLY late!!!!!

    WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!! Here comes the BMI!!!! We all just got off of gaurd duty, having thrown beer boy out on his patoot three times, and BOY are we THIRSTY!!!!!

    Tempie!!!! I am shocked that you couldn't wait for me!!!! And with WERUJ?????????????? Terrible. I'll just have to..........SWAT!!!!! There!!

    Hey!!! Where is the Guiness?? It's a crusties tradition!! Over there? Cool!!!!!! Gangway!! I'm goin' in for the keg stand!!!

    Why yes ladies, that IS mistletoe suspended from my hat!! C'mere!!!!!!! SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!! NEXT!!!!!!!!

    Now ladies.....on to the hot tub!!!
    I.A.C.O.J. Charter Member
    "Chet, get an inch and a half on that!"

    "Not for fame or reward,Not for place or rank. Not lured by ambition or goaded by necessity. But in simple obedience to duty as they understood it. These men suffered,sacrificed,dared all, and died. Let us never forget our fallen friends."

  20. #70
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    Kiwi, I don't think Wayne needs our services tonight.

  21. #71
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    Talking

    Hey I know I'm late but Merry Christmas to all. Looks like the BMI head is already gay and full of spirit before finding the guinness.
    Mike

  22. #72
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    Default Let's sing some carls!

    DECK THE HALLS WITH BUDDY HOLLY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA, LA, LA!

    Hey, LT; who's Ed Knob? You said and I quote "How about some, Ed Knob?" Well, how about giving me some?

    And Cheffie; don't be spitting on the bird. Lay a little of that spit on me.

    Anyone getting a buzz yet? George; move away from the snacks slowly.
    Kiwi; you selling shine?
    Anyone heard from MOTOWN? How about Mongo?

    Seriously, Lt; that was a great poem and tribute. Simply awesome.

    Now, back to the singing:

    TIS THE SEASON JUMPIN' JOLLY, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA, LA, LA. DON, HE HAS ON GAY APPAREL, FA LA LA, FA LA LA, LA LA, LA, LA. HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA, LA, LA.
    I take requests. Will sing for tips.
    CR

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    MERRY CHRISTMAS CRUSTIES!

    I brought several kegs of Guinness tapped.

    W.O.T. I've got gift certificates for Frederick's of Hollywood for all of ya'll. Gotta replace all those lacey things ya'll been shedding. I'll gladly come along to help ya'll with getting the fit right.

  24. #74
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    Could someone point me in the direction of the fireplace? I need to heat these buns.....OH! Cheffie...I didn't see you there...would you like to give me a hand with these?

    Be careful....they're very tender buns...handle with care.

    Hockey anyone?
    Proudly serving as the IACOJ Minister of Information & Propoganda!
    Be Safe! Lookouts-Awareness-Communications-Escape Routes-Safety Zones

    *Gathering Crust Since 1968*
    On the web at www.section2wildfire.com

  25. #75
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    Angry I am freezing my *** off!!!

    Where is HFD?? I need a large Bushmills very quickly on account of having had no electrictity for 48 hours. Certain parts are like icicles! (Anyone volunteering to thaw me out?
    )

    Ahhh, found the Irish nectar.

    My I wish you and yours a safe & very Merry Christmas. Cheers.
    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

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