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  1. #1
    Forum Member RyanEMVFD's Avatar
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    Talking Things could always be worse, but not as bad as others have it....

    Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.
    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
    He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then
    sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft Wayne, Indiana, who
    was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
    Needless to say, she won.

    Hi Sue,
    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
    bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In ! agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
    grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
    I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
    totaling thirty five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
    my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
    about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
    shoved up your butt.

    Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
    job..."
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.


  2. #2
    Forum Member StayBack500FT's Avatar
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    Yeah...just think how the jellyfish feels!!!
    May we never forget our fallen, worldwide.

    I.A.C.O.J. Safety/Traffic Control Officer

    E6511

    "Who's Who Among American Teachers" - 2005, 2006 Honoree

  3. #3
    Forum Member martinm's Avatar
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    That beats the hell out of the Q-Tip testers job!!

    (Unless of course you know of somthing worse again? )
    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

  4. #4
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    I dunno Martin. Just over a year ago there was a story from somewhere in Canada where two homosexuals who were engaging in what they do, literally blew up one guys butt.

    Seems they stuck a paper towel tube up one, pushed a gerbil inside and then the accident happened. For abmiance, they had candles lit in the room, but when the "gentleman" expressed a gaseous cloud, which of course exploded in the candle light.

    The individual with the tube was later treated for 2nd and 3rd degree burns to his rear end, the "Loader" was also treated for 2nd and 3rd degree burns to his face. Of the gerbil, there has been no report.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  5. #5
    Forum Member safetyhappy's Avatar
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    Originally posted by MalahatTwo7
    I dunno Martin. Just over a year ago there was a story from somewhere in Canada where two homosexuals who were engaging in what they do, literally blew up one guys butt.

    Seems they stuck a paper towel tube up one, pushed a gerbil inside and then the accident happened. For abmiance, they had candles lit in the room, but when the "gentleman" expressed a gaseous cloud, which of course exploded in the candle light.

    The individual with the tube was later treated for 2nd and 3rd degree burns to his rear end, the "Loader" was also treated for 2nd and 3rd degree burns to his face. Of the gerbil, there has been no report.
    Lemmingwinks the gerbil? (My apologies to those of you that missed that South Park episode.)
    Why do I *always* have to be the calm one?
    Note to self: first spell check then post.

  6. #6
    Forum Member martinm's Avatar
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    There is a WHOLE different world going on out there...I will stick with the one I have already
    United Kingdom branch, IACOJ.

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