Weird But True

[E40FDNYL35]

March 21, 2005 -- Nothing like wearin' the green when you're stealin' it. A guy in a leprechaun get-up flashed a gun and stole $322 from a Butte, Mont., laundry — on St. Patrick's Day, of course.

[E40FDNYL35]

March 22, 2005 -- School coaches are supposed to hang out in gyms — not from the ceiling overlooking the girls locker room and showers. But Dan Madrill, a golf coach at Parrott Middle School in Spring Hill, Fla., was caught doing just that, officials said. Madrill, 39, was charged with voyeurism after he was spotted climbing down from his ceiling Peeping Tom post shortly after a 20-year-old teacher and two students finished changing in the locker room, police said.

[E40FDNYL35]

March 23, 2005 -- Moscow doctors helped a man increase the size of his penis by attaching it to his forearm. Once attached to his arm, the man's 2 1/2-inch penis used tissue to grow to 6 1/2 inches. Then it was sewn back on his groin. "Women will never suspect" once the pumped-up patient recovers from the surgery and is able to have sex, said a surgeon.

[RspctFrmCalgary]

OH ... MY ... GOD!!!!!!

[firenresq77]

Holy schnikes!!!! 2.5"??????????? Ouch!!

[E40FDNYL35]

March 23, 2005 -- A policeman spotted a quarter in the snow outside a burglarized convenience store in Appleton, Wis. He checked, saw another quarter, and then another and another — and followed the trail of coins until it ended on a house porch a few blocks away. More of the stolen loot was discovered inside the house, along with two men, who were arrested.

[skyraider]

Patient Steals His Ambulance
Written By Kari Pugh
Online Regional Reporter
Created:3/23/2005 1:16:40 PM

Police say a Fredericksburg, Va., man clad in only his underwear and one sock stole the same ambulance that gave him a ride to the hospital for a mental health evaluation Wednesday morning.

Rescuer workers were called to check out a man walking down the street in his underwear about 7:40 a.m., Fredericksburg police spokesman Jim Shelhorse said.

When they approached, the man agreed to get into the ambulance to go the hospital.

But at the registration desk, he jumped off the stretcher, ran back to the ambulance and drove off, Shelhorse said.

Officer Carlos Reyes, on patrol nearby, spotted the ambulance turning off hospital grounds and heading south on U.S. 1. He followed with lights and sirens as the driver raced toward the Spotsylvania County line, Shelhorse said.

"The officer said that all of the sudden, the ambulance lost control and rolled right in front of him," Shelhorse said. "He said it was strange because he saw someone running away as the ambulance rolled."

After a brief foot chase, Reyes captured the ambulance thief, he said.

Elijah Haith, 25, who has no fixed address, was charged with car theft, eluding police and reckless driving, Shelhorse said.

He was undergoing a mental health evaluation Wednesday afternoon at Mary Washington Hospital in Fredericksburg. The Fredericksburg Rescue Squad ambulance was totaled.

"We’re just very lucky he didn’t hit any other vehicles," Shelhorse said. "It could have been a disaster."

[NJFFSA16]

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island (AP) - A student who photographed his
principal smoking outside a school building was allowed to return
to class after initially being suspended for posting the photos on
the Internet.
School district officials Wednesday reversed the suspension of
sophomore Eliazar Velasquez and said principal Elaine Almagno was
wrong to violate a state law that prohibits smoking within 7 meters
(25 feet) of a school building.
"The school had no authority to punish him for the information
he had up (on the Web site) or to require him to take down the
site," said Superintendent Melody Johnson.
Johnson said school officials told her Velasquez was suspended
because he disrupted the learning environment at the school by
posting the photos on the Internet. She said she reinstated him
after reviewing the incident.
Steven Brown of the Rhode Island chapter of the American Civil
Liberties Union had spoken to school officials on Velasquez's
behalf.
Johnson said Almagno has apologized for the incident over the
school's public address system.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

[NJFFSA16]

Japan's sumo world says "no thanks" to pants
TOKYO, March 24 (Reuters) - A tussle has broken out in
Japan's tradition-bound sumo world over the right to wear pants
in the ring.
Gargantuan sumo wrestlers generally compete naked but for a
"mawashi," an arrangement of wrapped cloth that preserves a
bare minimum of modesty.
Sumo's amateur association hit upon the idea of allowing
shy youngsters to wear "sumo pants," a more substantial garment
similar to cycling shorts, to try to boost the dwindling
numbers of children taking up the sport, the daily Yomiuri
Shimbun said on Thursday.
"Pubescent kids are not going to want to take part if they
don't look cool," Yomiuri quoted one local amateur sumo
official as saying.
The sport's professional body, the Nihon Sumo Kyokai,
however, has made clear that it will not allow wrestlers in
pants to take part in youth tournaments at the venerable
national stadium in Tokyo, the paper said.
"The national stadium has its rules and ways of doing
things," the paper quoted a Sumo Kyokai spokesman as saying.
"We have no intention of allowing children in pants into the
ring."

Reut04:02 03-24-05

[NJFFSA16]

Runway Scarecrow Machine Lost in Translation
BEIJING (Reuters) - China imported a U.S.-made scream
machine to scare away the birds at Beijing airport -- except
they didn't recognize the noises and refused to budge.
The bird-dispersing equipment had recorded the screams of
American birds or the sounds of the birds' natural enemies, the
Beijing Evening News said.
"Local birds did not understand the foreign language," the
newspaper said.
So Chinese experts "translated" the U.S. bird noises into
those of their Chinese counterparts.
"The workers have already recorded six or seven bird
screams which are common in Beijing," it said, adding that the
new scare tactics were undergoing tests.

[NJFFSA16]

Gym Scolded for Ads Resembling Parking Tickets
LONDON (Reuters) - UK gym operator LA Fitness was
reprimanded Wednesday for stressing out would-be customers with
leaflets that looked like parking tickets.
A woman complained to the UK's Advertising Standards
Authority after finding under the windshield wiper of her car a
yellow advert with black arrows at the top and bottom offering
a buy-one-get-one-free membership.
The self-regulatory agency acknowledged that upon reading
the leaflet it was clearly advertising material, but said at
first sight it could easily be mistaken for a parking ticket
and "was likely to cause distress to recipients."
The ASA asked LA Fitness not to repeat the tactic and also
said it was "concerned" that the company failed to respond to
the complaint, which it said is also a breach of its code.

[NJFFSA16]

Economist Forfeits Mirror for Skirt Peeking
TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese economist found guilty of
peeking up a schoolgirl's skirt with a mirror was ordered to
forfeit it and pay a fine of 500,000 yen ($4,740).
Kazuhide Uekusa, a former professor at Tokyo's Waseda
University, was arrested in April 2004 for using the mirror to
look up the skirt of the high school girl as they went up an
escalator at a train station.
Prosecutors had demanded that Uekusa be sentenced to four
months in jail as well as being ordered to surrender the
mirror, but the judge said he had been punished enough by
losing his status and reputation, Kyodo news agency said.
Uekusa, a well-known commentator who at one time appeared
frequently on television to talk about economic issues,
initially admitted to the charge but later said he was not
guilty.

[NJFFSA16]

Dutch driving instructor gives lesson in road rage
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (Reuters) - A Dutch driving
instructor hit a knife-wielding fellow motorist with a baseball
bat during a fight over his student's skills, police said
Wednesday.
"Words were exchanged between the instructor and the man
who pulled a knife and then the other hit him with a baseball
bat," a police spokeswoman said.
The 27-year-old driving instructor and a 51-year-old man
with a head injury and a mild concussion were arrested and must
appear in court.
REUTERS

[NJFFSA16]

10-year-old wins 'stinky feet' contest
MONTPELIER, Vermont (AP) - Noah Nielsen's sneakers may reek
something awful, but that stench has earned him some cash.
Nielsen, 10, beat six other contestants from around the country
Tuesday in the 30th annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker
Contest. He won a $500 (euro385) government savings bond, a $100 (euro77)
check for new sneakers and a supply of Odor-Eaters products, which
are inserted into shoes to improve the smell.
The secret to his success? "No socks, ever."
"The stank was from rubbing my toes back and forth and making
them sweaty," said Nielsen, with his trophy in hand and two golden
sneakers hanging from his neck.
Nielsen said he also played soccer and baseball in the
three-year-old Adidas patched together with duct tape.
"Human feet shouldn't smell that bad," said judge Bill Fraser.
Nielsen is a veteran of the competition. Last year he was a
runner-up in the state event.
In the week leading up to this year's contest, he refused to
take a bath. When his parents insisted, they found him with his
feet hanging out of the tub, his father Peter Nielsen said.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

[cavecity114]

I was at a house fire. After the fire was out and started overhull
i hit a wall with a pikepole Roaches droped all over me--- the odd thing was thay was still alive and it was a hot fire--- Thank god a friend had a Fire Hose in his hand

[E40FDNYL35]

March 25, 2005 -- Chili isn't supposed to be finger food — but a finger is just what was served up to a woman at a Wendy's in San Jose, Calif. The customer bit into an 11/2-inch long fingertip while she was eating a bowl of chili. "She was a bit grossed out," said a health official.

[E40FDNYL35]

March 26, 2005 -- The Albion, N.Y., mom got into an argument with her son after he accused her of picking him up in a sloshed state. So she drove to the local police station and asked for a breath test. She flunked, and cops charged her with DWI.

[E40FDNYL35]

March 27, 2005 -- A series of ugly run-ins between girls' soccer teams in San Francisco high schools has prompted a ban on postgame handshakes. In fact, players now can't say a single word to their opponents, opposing coaches or officials. Seems the end-of-game handshakes have been anything but good or friendly this season. There's been a rash of name-calling and even hitting.

[NJFFSA16]

PORT-OF-SPAIN, Trinidad (AP) - A man ran amok, spitting on a
Roman Catholic priest and calling him Satan during a Good Friday
procession re-enacting Jesus' crucifixion in southern Trinidad, a
television station reported.
The man spit on, bit and struck out at several people who tried
to subdue him, but Rev. Clyde Harvey called on the gathering to
pray for the man instead of handing him over to authorities, TV6
news footage showed.
The incident happened on a hillside in the town of San Fernando,
some 25 miles (40 kilometers) south of the capital, Port-of-Spain.
At first the congregation of Our Lady of Perpetual Help thought
the man was part of a skit when the man began running and shouting
at people, telling the priest "Do you feel you are holier than
thou?"
The man's mother and Harvey tried approaching him to try to calm
him down but he shouted: "Get away, Satan, do not use my mother
against me. Get your hands off my mother. You is the devil."
A group of men grabbed the man and lifted him away. He kicked
and screamed, punching and biting them.
The man's mother began shouting to the congregation: "Please
pray for me, pray for him."
The congregants extended their hands toward the man - now pinned
to the ground by seven men - and began praying: "Please Jesus,
your blood can drive this away. It can heal."
Harvey said the man was not "possessed" but mentally
disturbed.
In addressing the congregation, Harvey said: "This has not
happened by accident. This young man is a symbol of what is
happening in this country."
It was the priest's words and hymns sung by the parishioners
that calmed the man, who at the end hugged Harvey. The priest then
invited the young man to visit with him at church.
Good Friday is the Friday before Easter, observed by Christians
in commemoration of Jesus' crucifixion.
(lb-fg)

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

[NJFFSA16]

KEY WEST, Fla. (AP) - The little furry creature that appeared
out of nowhere had Keys naturalists puzzled. They had never seen
anything like it, so they put out an alert for bat experts to help
out.
Researchers had a surprising answer: The tiny animal, weighing
in at just over half an ounce, is a Cuban Fig-Eating Bat, a rare
species never seen in the United States.
What was even more surprising is the experts' theory of how the
bat - dubbed Stinky Phil for his pungent smell - may have arrived
in Key West: blown over the Florida Straits by one of last summer's
hurricanes.
"It's a pretty big deal," said Cyndi Marks, director of the
St. Petersburg-based Florida Bat Center and one of the state's
chief flying-mammal experts. "I was surprised because it was not
one of the bats we had been expecting to find down there."
That's because the critter, also known as a white-shouldered
bat, is native only to Cuba, Hispaniola, and the Cayman Islands -
and, until recently, hasn't even been spotted in the Caymans in
close to a century.
Flying in on storm winds is not as crazy as it sounds, experts
say. Bats themselves sometimes roam and are known to fly as fast as
30 mph.
"Flying in from Cuba would probably not be the most athletic
performance of that bat's life," said Stuart Pimm, a professor at
the Nicholas School at Duke University, whose visiting students
first eyeballed Phil a few months ago, touching off a scramble to
figure out his identity. "If it did fly in from Cuba, it's
probably an indication it is a bit stupid and got lost."
Phil, who is small enough to curl into the palm of a hand, was
kicking back this week in an almond tree on the grounds of his
adopted home, the 7.5 acre Key West Tropical Forest & Botanical
Garden.
"As a bat goes, it's cute. Only a mother could love a bat,"
Pimm said.
Phillip Hughes, a Keys-based biologist for the U.S. Fish and
Wildlife Service, said the bat - considered an "accidental
species" because he was found alone - probably won't be joining a
list of local endangered species that includes the Silver Rice Rat
and the Key Deer.
"Something that doesn't constitute a viable population in the
first place is not going to be considered for listing in the
U.S.," Hughes said. "What we see here is a living example of a
rare event in nature. Basically, it's just something to
appreciate."
Kendall native Wes Brooks, one of Pimm's undergraduate students,
stumbled upon the critter one evening in December when he and
another colleague embarked on a search for moths.
"We didn't find any moths, oddly enough, it was chilly, but we
heard some small clicks and all sorts of noises up in the trees,"
Brooks recalls. "For 45 minutes we were looking up in the trees.
Then we heard one little short, high-pitched peep and it was
sitting upside down looking straight down at us."
Phil's life on the lam was over.
The students took photos of Phil but couldn't identify him. So
they enlisted the help of Monroe County Extension Service agents,
who forwarded Phil's picture to Florida bat experts. One of the
shots made its way to Marks, who spends most of her time conducting
'"bat talks" designed to disabuse people of the notion that a
dead bat is the best bat.
Marks came to the Keys with a special bat detector - a
contraption that resembles a transistor radio and is used to record
high-frequency, ultrasonic bat sounds, rendering them audible to
humans. Another device plugs into a laptop to produce a visual
representation of the sounds so researchers can match them.
Unfortunately, Phil "was one of those quiet bats," Marks said.
"We call them whispering bats," she said, "because they just
don't echo-locate loudly." Preferring fruit and pollen, Cuban
Fig-Eating Bats don't usually have to use strong sounds to find a
meal.
The species differs from some others because they have a "leaf
nose," a funny-looking triangular projection on the tip of their
face that they use to project their squeaky peeps. Many other bats
just scream.
Once Phil was positively identified, Marks trapped him gently
with a net and drove him in her white minivan to St. Petersburg in
a cloth-covered cage for a few weeks of testing and observation. He
ate mango, banana and cantaloupe. Tissue samples were taken for
genetic testing. A few hairs were plucked.
Shy Phil didn't seem to relish the spotlight very much.
"We haven't taken a lot of photos of him, that seems to stress
him," Marks said.
On Sunday, Marks returned Phil to the moist Key West sanctuary
where butterflies, tropical plants, more than 60 species of trees
and abundant bird life are lovingly tended.
He will likely remain a bachelor, Marks said.
"He might have to fly back to Cuba to get a girlfriend."

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)