Weird But True

Space station astronaut testifies from orbit
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The star witness before the U.S.
House Science Space Subcommittee was just getting warmed up on
Tuesday when one question made him float to the ceiling.
U.S. astronaut John Phillips, testifying live on video from
the International Space Station, slowly turned heels-over-head,
showing his sock-clad feet to the assembled lawmakers when Rep.
Charlie Melancon asked, "Are your feet strapped down so you're
not floating?"
"Yes, sir, we're not strapped down," Phillips said, though
he appeared to be standing at attention in the station's U.S.
Destiny laboratory module, even though the gravity probably
hovered somewhere around zero.
"Right now I'm not wearing any shoes, we only wear shoes
pretty much for exercise," Phillips said. "But I've got my
stocking-clad feet stuck under a railing on the floor because
if I didn't do that I'd kind of just float around."
Suiting the action to the word, Phillips freed his feet and
drifted up to the ceiling of the station, drawing a laugh from
the Louisiana Democrat and the rest of the panel. He then
drifted back down and tucked his feet under the rail again.

:cool: June 16, 2005 -- A bald eagle crashed through a window of a home in Alaska, dropped a salmon in the living room and flew back out. "There were feathers about eight feet into the room . . . [and] this huge fish carcass right where my dog usually sleeps," said homeowner Jean Stack of Ketchikan.

June 17, 2005 --These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
______________________________ _______
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
______________________________ _______
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
______________________________ _______
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one..
______________________________ __________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________ ________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Kinda makes you wonder why lawyers go to university for so long doesnt it?

I think I've seen that one before, but still funny as hell. :D

June 18, 2005 -- An elderly man in Glen Burnie, Md., was hospitalized with burns covering 20 percent of his body after he tried to siphon gas from his car with a vacuum cleaner — while the car engine was running. The vacuum's electric motor caused a spark and ignited the gas. :rolleyes:Why was he siphoning gas from the car? He said he locked his keys inside and figured it was the only way to halt the engine. :rolleyes:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by E40FDNYL35
June 18, 2005 -- An elderly man in Glen Burnie, Md., was hospitalized with burns covering 20 percent of his body after he tried to siphon gas from his car with a vacuum cleaner — while the car engine was running. The vacuum's electric motor caused a spark and ignited the gas. :rolleyes:Why was he siphoning gas from the car? He said he locked his keys inside and figured it was the only way to halt the engine. :rolleyes:

---

Shocking that he managed to get to be "elderly" :eek: :rolleyes: :D

June 19, 2005 --An Illinois man has been charged with stealing a beer he paid for — because his clock was slow. A store clerk refused to sell Sparta resident Vincent Boston a 24-ounce can of Budweiser because it was after 1 a.m., when local law said liquor sales must stop. So Boston placed $1.50 on the counter, went outside to his car, then came back and said it wasn't yet 1 a.m. by his clock. He then took the beer and left. The clerk recorded his license-plate number and cops seized him later. :rolleyes:

June 20, 2005 -- A California library has just gotten back a book — that was 78 years overdue. Jim Pavon said he discovered the copy of Rudyard Kipling's "Kim" in a box belonging to his late aunt, who had borrowed it from an Oakland library in 1927. "I just wanted a clean slate," he said, laughing. At the 1927 rate of 2 cents per day, the fine would have amounted to more than $550. The library waived the fine.

June 23, 2005 --Kindergartners at an Austrian school are having their toys taken away in the belief it will help them fight drug addiction and alcoholism later in life. "[It] encourages them to think more about how to entertain themselves — they become more social, and even those on the outside of the group find a positive role," said program head Renate Brauner.
Sounds just plain mean to me. :(

Quote:

---

Originally posted by E40FDNYL35
Sounds just plain mean to me. :(

---

YUP. How sad, hey :( :mad: I hope the parents raise a big stink about it.

June 24, 2005 -- Two women have spent 20 days sitting in a car — locked in an endurance contest to win it. Cathie Llewellyn, 57, and Dolores Milewsky, 74, are the final contestants in a competition for a 2005 PT Cruiser convertible that began earlier this month in Steubenville, Ohio. They get four five-minute breaks a day, or every six hours.

June 25, 2005 -- A bomb squad team was rushed by helicopter to a post office in Bluffton, S.C., to check out a suspicious package workers had found lying by itself in a loading area. The post office was evacuated, the area was cordoned off, and firefighters and emergency personnel were posted nearby on standby before the package was opened.

Inside were two sex toys. :eek:

June 27, 2005 -- A mysterious benefactor is sending packages stuffed with $1,000 in cash to people in Wisconsin. A note inside instructs the recipients to "use this on something extravagant." Cops have no idea who's behind it, but there's no law against someone giving cash to someone else," said Rock County Chief Deputy Sheriff Robert Spoden.

Attention, oh mighty philanthropic one: My address is . . . :cool:

June 28, 2005 -- An Ohio baseball team of 11- and 12-year-olds has been kicked out of its league — because it's too good. The Columbus Stars were given the boot after other teams complained that they always lost to the powerhouse players.

:rolleyes:

June 29, 2005 -- Birds prefer to do their business on white cars, a new study claims. Researchers at Bristol University in England counted the number of droppings on 2,000 vehicles, and found that birds were less likely to dirty navy-blue and black cars. Expert Derek Toomer said birds may "bomb" white vehicles because they associate the color with predators.
;)

Wed Jun 29, 6:27 PM ET (AP)



A 45-year-old man was arrested after a teenage girl found him staring at her from below an outhouse seat, police said. Police said they pulled Gary Moody, from Gardiner, Maine, from the waste tank under a log cabin outhouse on Monday.

"We had to decontaminate him," said Capt. Jon Hebert of the Carroll County Sheriff's Department, adding that firefighters hosed the man down before police handcuffed him. "We treated him as if he were hazardous material," Hebert said.

Moody was charged with criminal trespass. Hebert said he could face more charges.

Moody was freed on bail for a July 19 appearance in Northern Carroll County District Court in North Conway.

Quote:

---

A 45-year-old man was arrested after a teenage girl found him staring at her from below an outhouse seat, police said. Police said they pulled Gary Moody, from Gardiner, Maine, from the waste tank under a log cabin outhouse on Monday.

---

Man that guy stinks....;)


June 30, 2005 -- Women who play beach volleyball in their bikinis risk droopy boobs, while guys who play could get saggy testicles, a top German surgeon warns. "Vigorous movements and vibrations stretch the tissue around the breasts. The female breasts, even small ones, were not made for swinging up and down 300 times within a short period of time," said Dr George Khoury of Hamburg. "A similar thing can happen to male genitalia. Men should also wear tight pants to stop their testicles sagging too far.":eek: :eek:

It has been about 5 minutes or less since I dragged my *** outta bed -what a lovely way to wake up :rolleyes: LOL


ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that's just creepy


and



:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Isn't that why they made sports bras? :D

Quote:

---

Originally posted by E40FDNYL35
Men should also wear tight pants to stop their testicles sagging too far.":eek: :eek:

---

Great :rolleyes:

Now I'm picturing some nasty, middle aged guy dressed in spandex shorts with testicles hanging halfway down his thighs jumping up and down on sand while spiking the ball. :eek: :eek:

Yes, I needed that visual this morning ...................... NOT!!!!!