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Thread: Weird But True

  1. #1441
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    October 7, 2005 -- Forget about burying your loved ones — now you can wear them . A Chicago company called LifeGem uses superhot ovens to turn cremated ashes into graphite, then presses the stone into blue and yellow diamonds that retail for anywhere from $2,700 to $20,000.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
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  2. #1442
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    Default Santa Claus gets code of conduct

    LONDON (Reuters) - It's the Santa Clause and its aim is to root out substandard Santas.

    Jolly, bearded Father Christmas has been ordered to clean up his act or be forced to hang up his trademark red suit.

    "We are trying to eradicate shoddy Santas," James Lovell of the Ministry of Fun agency told Reuters the day after a secret summit of Santas drew up guidelines for girth, beard length, attire, footwear and general demeanor.

    "Santa is a magical and cuddly man, not a fat, smelly slob," said Lovell, whose agency fills 500 Santa positions a year. "I even saw a Santa last year wearing trainers (sneakers)."

    From this December Santas -- who only substitute for the real thing when he is busy elsewhere -- must be neatly presented, have a bushy white beard no more than six inches long and a girth of no greater than 48 inches and no less than 46 inches.

    "He must not smell of drink or body odor and his 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' must resonate deeply," Lovell added.
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  3. #1443
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    Those willy Brits are at it again:

    Oct 7, 10:09 AM EDT

    London to Get Sexual 'Theme Park' LONDON (AP) -- Move over, Eros.

    Developers announced plans Friday to open a multimillion dollar sexual "theme park" near London's Piccadilly Circus, home to the much-photographed statue of the Greek god of love.

    Backers say the London Academy of Sex and Relationships, due to open next spring, will not be a sleazy sex museum, but an educational multimedia attraction that will teach visitors to become better lovers and provide valuable information about disease and sexual problems.

    Located within the Trocadero entertainment center - just around the corner from Soho, London's red-light district - the $8.3 million project will feature unspecified "high tech and interactive exhibits."

    Alex Rayner, a spokesman for the project, said it was "committed to avoiding the sleazy image that the sex industry usually conjures."

    "Titillation is not the goal," he said. "It's meant to be educational. It's meant to be informative."

    The privately funded project has support from sexual health organizations including the Sexual Dysfunction Association and AIDS charity The Terrence Higgins Trust.

    "It is long overdue that the U.K. faces up to its responsibilities in the sexual arena - we cannot simply avoid mankind's leading preoccupation and the issues that go with it," said the academy's director of exhibits, Dr. Sarah Brewer. "The academy is the perfect vehicle by which to address these important matters in an exciting, amusing and yet educational way."

    Several cities around the world - including New York, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Paris - are home to erotic museums. Typically, they exhibit everything from pornography to high-minded paintings exploring local sexual attitudes and culture.

    © 2005 The Associated Press.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

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  4. #1444
    Forum Member RspctFrmCalgary's Avatar
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    Default Can't believe I'm posting this ... ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *shudder*

    Eyes bigger than belly; Python bursts trying to swallow gator in Everglades
    05/10/2005 5:30:00 PM

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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    MIAMI (AP) - The alligator has some foreign competition at the top of the Everglades food chain, and the results of the struggle are horror-movie messy.


    A four-metre Burmese python recently burst after it apparently tried to swallow a live, two-metre alligator whole, authorities said. The incident has heightened biologists' fears that the nonnative snakes could threaten a host of other animal species in the Everglades.

    "It means nothing in the Everglades is safe from pythons, a top-down predator," said Frank Mazzotti, a University of Florida wildlife professor.

    Over the years, many pythons have been abandoned in the Everglades by pet owners.

    The gory evidence of the latest gator-python encounter - the fourth documented in the past three years - was discovered and photographed last week by a helicopter pilot and wildlife researcher.

    The snake was found with the gator's hindquarters protruding from its midsection. Mazzotti said the alligator may have clawed at the python's stomach as the snake tried to digest it.

    In previous incidents, the alligator won or the battle was an apparent draw.

    "There had been some hope that alligators can control Burmese pythons," Mazzotti said. "This indicates to me it's going to be an even draw. Sometimes alligators are going to win and sometimes the python will win."

    It is unknown how many pythons are competing with the thousands of alligators in the Everglades, but at least 150 have been captured in the past two years, said Joe Wasilewski, a wildlife biologist and crocodile tracker.

    Pythons could threaten many smaller species that conservationists are trying to protect, including other reptiles, otters, squirrels, woodstorks and sparrows, Mazzotti said.

    Wasilewski said a three-or six-metre python also could pose a risk to an unwary human, especially a child. He added, however, "I don't think this is an imminent threat. This is not a 'Be afraid, be very afraid' situation."
    September 11th - Never Forget

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  5. #1445
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    "Santa is a magical and cuddly man, not a fat, smelly slob," said Lovell, whose agency fills 500 Santa positions a year. "I even saw a Santa last year wearing trainers (sneakers)."
    Over here they normally wear a red singlet and thongs; they hold a beer in one hand and a sack of presents on the other. Most the time they are drunk by the end of the bbq. Its a tradition to have a drunken santa.
    "There are only two things that i know are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And im not so sure about the former."

    For all the life of me, i cant see a firefighter going to hell. At least not for very long. We would end up putting out all the fires and annoying the devil too much.

  6. #1446
    Forum Member Proby1711's Avatar
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    OMG.. I have cracked myself up laughing at a lot of these

    Some people...

  7. #1447
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    October 9, 2005 -- What's more rare than a hole-in-one? A pair of them, on the same hole, at the same time, by two elderly duffers in Australia. Keith Barnes, 72, and Michael Dowdell, 71, really beat the odds on the par-three 17th at a course on Queensland's Sunshine Coast when they both aced the 120-yard hole.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
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    343
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    Charleston 9
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    October 10, 2005 -- Adrienne Zisk opened her garage door in Florida to get her car — and was nearly frightened to death. Looking straight at her from inside the garage was a 200-pound, 9-foot-long crocodile. "It was just lying there and staring up at her . . . Needless to say, it scared the hell out of her," said her husband, Morton, who called a professional trapper to capture the beast in North Miami.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
    NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
    343
    CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
    LT. John Ginley Engine 40
    FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
    FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
    FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
    FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
    FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
    FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

    Charleston 9
    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

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    When I was in the Navy,you couldn't go wrong using Santa to determine if you were at the kids' Christmas party or the crew's party.If jolly old Saint Nick was drinking kool aid or egg nog sans the nog,you were at the kiddy party and decorum was expected.
    If Santa wasn't just drinking Jack and Coke but had forsaken the Coke for the bottle itself,then it was okay if you hit on the XO's wife while bringing your Division Officer's ex girlfriend to the base club.

    Quote Originally Posted by PattyV
    Over here they normally wear a red singlet and thongs; they hold a beer in one hand and a sack of presents on the other. Most the time they are drunk by the end of the bbq. Its a tradition to have a drunken santa.

  10. #1450
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    October 11, 2005 -- Cat lovers thinking of retiring to Florida had better read this first. Elidia Rodriguez spotted a 12-foot Burmese python with a bulge in its stomach in the back yard of her Miami Gardens home. Then she realized Frances, her year-old Siamese cat, was gone. You guessed it — the snake swallowed the kitty whole. "Poor baby. I know Siamese cats are supposed to be distant, but he slept in my bed and everything," a distraught Rodriguez said.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
    NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
    343
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    FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
    FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
    FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
    FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
    FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
    FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

    Charleston 9
    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

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    October 12, 2005 -- You've got to admire Dona Ramona. The spunky 97-year-old Colombian woman is alive and well — after wrongly being declared dead four times. Doctors believe that Ramona, from the town of Sampues, keeps slipping into a diabetic coma, which dramatically lowers her vital signs and makes her appear dead.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
    NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
    343
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    FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
    FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
    FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
    FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
    FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
    FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

    Charleston 9
    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

  12. #1452
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    U.S. gas station's mistake briefly allows drivers to fill up at 1955 prices

    Canadian Press Wednesday, October 12, 2005

    LINCOLN, Nebraska (AP) - One gas station manager's mistake paid off for drivers who were able to buy fuel for about a tenth of the current price.

    For 30 to 45 minutes Friday, three of the Kabredlo's Convenience Store's four pumps sold premium unleaded gas for $.08 US a litre - about a tenth of the current price. Gas hasn't been that cheap since 1955, according to AAA Nebraska.

    Until the mistake was caught, lines formed at the store as news of the cheap fuel spread, said Max Wolfe, who was doing landscaping for Kabredlo's.

    Wolfe and his co-workers took time out to fill up. "I was on E, and I filled my tank up for $4 (US)," Wolfe said. "It made my day."

    Nathan Olson said he usually pays $72 to fill his gas-guzzling 1998 Ford F-150. On Friday, he filled the tank three-quarters full for $3.50.

    On average, Lincoln gas stations are charging $.79 a litre for gas, according to AAA.

    © The Canadian Press 2005
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  13. #1453
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    Quote Originally Posted by MalahatTwo7
    U.S. gas station's mistake briefly allows drivers to fill up at 1955 prices

    Canadian Press Wednesday, October 12, 2005

    LINCOLN, Nebraska (AP) - One gas station manager's mistake paid off for drivers who were able to buy fuel for about a tenth of the current price.

    For 30 to 45 minutes Friday, three of the Kabredlo's Convenience Store's four pumps sold premium unleaded gas for $.08 US a litre - about a tenth of the current price. Gas hasn't been that cheap since 1955, according to AAA Nebraska.

    Until the mistake was caught, lines formed at the store as news of the cheap fuel spread, said Max Wolfe, who was doing landscaping for Kabredlo's.

    Wolfe and his co-workers took time out to fill up. "I was on E, and I filled my tank up for $4 (US)," Wolfe said. "It made my day."

    Nathan Olson said he usually pays $72 to fill his gas-guzzling 1998 Ford F-150. On Friday, he filled the tank three-quarters full for $3.50.

    On average, Lincoln gas stations are charging $.79 a litre for gas, according to AAA.

    © The Canadian Press 2005
    that's a good story....
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    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
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    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

  14. #1454
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by E40FDNYL35
    that's a good story....
    It came out of the Victoria Times Columnist earlier today.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  15. #1455
    Forum Member firehick's Avatar
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    A guy I go to school with learned why porn is illegal for minors....

    He attempted to burn his porn to destroy it so his parents wouldnt catch him with it. WELL...he had to leave to come to a summer math class, ironicoly with me and a jr. ff who is a friend of mine. He thought the smoldering ashes were out and threw them into the garbage can along the side of his house. What he didnt know was his mom had tossed turpinetine soaked rags into the can earlier that day before he was up. As you can guess the garbage can caught on fire and did $100,000 in damage to his house, all over a litttle porn....he confessed to his parents and the fire marshall who ironicly enough was an alum from our high school and his brother is one of our teachers. The whole school knows and we frequently laugh our @sses off. Just wait till his birthday

  16. #1456
    MembersZone Subscriber MalahatTwo7's Avatar
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    Default I SAID: "PARDON?"

    Police catch burglar having sex in basement of building he had broken into

    Canadian Press October 13, 2005

    PITTSBURGH (AP) - Pittsburgh police say they caught a serial burglar in the act - a sex act.

    Officers found Robert Calloway, 40, in the basement of a Squirrel Hill apartment building he had broken into, police said. Authorities said Calloway was having sex with a woman who was not identified. He was charged with Monday's break-in, as well as in three others in recent weeks. Calloway matches the description of a man caught on surveillance tape breaking into the basements of other apartment buildings, police said.

    In all the cases, Calloway is accused of prying the locks from storage area doors. Sometimes nothing was reported missing; in other cases, a leaf blower, gas can, and tool box were taken, police said.

    Storage bins had been broken into in the basement where Calloway was found having sex with the woman, police said.

    It was not immediately clear whether he had an attorney.

    © The Canadian Press 2005
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    October 13, 2005 -- A man sentenced to nine months of house arrest made a tearful plea for the judge to jail him instead — arguing that having to listen to his wife's constant nagging was cruel and inhuman punishment. "I need some peace!" pleaded Ahmed Salhi, a 24-year-old Algerian convicted of violating immigration laws in Ferrera, Italy. The judge took pity on Salhi and commuted the rest of his sentence to a proper prison.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
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    Charleston 9
    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

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    October 14, 2005 -- It's the thought that counts in a marriage proposal.
    Chris Mueller, 25, was etching the big question into a soybean field in North Dakota when he noticed the "m" in "marry" took up too much room. He decided to cut corners, spelling "KATIE WILL YOU MARY ME?" Then he took Katie Goltz for an airplane ride. "I said, 'Yes' and cried, like all girls do," said Katie of Hillsboro. "I thought it was so sweet that he spelled it wrong. I thought it made it more cute and more special."
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
    NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
    343
    CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
    LT. John Ginley Engine 40
    FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
    FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
    FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
    FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
    FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
    FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

    Charleston 9
    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

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    No happy returns on this deposit.
    October 15, 2005 -- A Swedish man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple in the early 1990s has been ordered to pay child support for their three kids. The man told his nation's highest court that the women had agreed that he would not be involved in raising the children in any way. But after the two women separated, the biological mother of the three kids demanded child support from him — and the court ruled in her favor.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
    NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
    343
    CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
    LT. John Ginley Engine 40
    FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
    FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
    FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
    FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
    FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
    FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

    Charleston 9
    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

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    Down Under twist on putting all your eggs in one basket.

    October 16, 2005 -- An Aussie was busted and jailed for two years after he tried to smuggle 23 bird eggs out of the country in his underwear. And the puns just keep on coming — most were cockatoo eggs, a protected native Australian species.
    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
    NEVER FORGET 9-11-01
    343
    CAPT. Frank Callahan Ladder 35 *
    LT. John Ginley Engine 40
    FF. Bruce Gary Engine 40
    FF. Jimmy Giberson Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Otten Ladder 35 *
    FF. Steve Mercado Engine 40 *
    FF. Kevin Bracken Engine 40 *
    FF. Vincent Morello Ladder 35
    FF. Michael Roberts Ladder 35 *
    FF. Michael Lynch Engine 40
    FF. Michael Dauria Engine 40

    Charleston 9
    "If my job was easy a cop would be doing it."
    *******************CLICK HERE*****************

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