1. #1
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    Default New York fire department's 'dirty little secret' exposed

    Sorry to my FDNY friends, but this was all over the front page of the paper today in Calgary - the respected one not the rag mag!! I just don't get these women who expect their husband's bosses to ORDER the firefighters to go back to their wives (there was another story on FH awhile ago about another scorned woman who wanted her husband's fire chief to tell him to get back together with her). Yes its very sad for the women whose husbands left them for other 911 widows, but I don't think anyone's bosses should be able to dictate or order someone to return to their spouse, no matter what the circumstances. Who are we to say that these men and women didn't fall in love. Of course the wives would feel betrayed, but how can you put this on the fire department??? Even if these folk aren't in love and its just a fling it has NOTHING to do with the fire department, it has to do with the character and morality of the two people involved in the relationship.

    9/11 heroes leave wives for comfort of widows
    New York fire department's 'dirty little secret' exposed

    Steven Edwards
    CanWest News Service


    Tuesday, December 02, 2003

    Gerry Koenig left his wife.


    John Bergin died in attack.


    Mary Koenig, left, lost her husband Gerry to 9/11 widow Madeline Bergin, a former friend.

    CREDIT: New York Post

    Flames of passion have overcome at least a dozen New York City firefighters assigned to console the widows of their fallen 9/11 comrades.

    They have dumped their own wives to start new relationships with the women they were comforting, and several of the spurned wives are furious with the fire department, accusing it of doing nothing to intervene.

    But appointing a liaison to the family of a fallen fellow firefighter has been New York fire department practice for 100 years, though not officially condoned. The liaison is supposed to act as a surrogate "head of family" who offers a shoulder to cry on.

    The story of the broken marriages came to light Monday as Mary Koenig told of her breakup with her firefighter husband, Gerry, in an interview with the New York Post. "It's disgusting, heartbreaking, what they've done," she said.

    "Not only have these men dishonoured their own families, they've dishonoured the memories of men who are heroes, who were their brothers," said Koenig, a mother of two.

    The Post says its investigation has uncovered at least 12 cases where a firefighter has left his own family for that of a 9/11 widow.

    Psychologists say it is only to be expected that firefighters, whose job it is to save people, risk falling in love in such situations. Mental health experts noted a similar pattern in the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.

    The firefighters see the widows as "damsels in distress" at a time when they too are overcome by emotion, explained Gilda Carle, a psychotherapist. Most vulnerable, she said, are firefighters who have been in a marriage for a long time, where both partners take one another for granted.

    Koenig has launched a one-woman campaign to have legislation or department rules written that would mandate senior officers to supervise the liaison program.

    She said Gerry walked out on her for the widow of his friend John Bergin, who was one of the department's 343 firefighters who died in the collapse of the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001.

    At Mary Koenig's request, Gerry Koenig's captain ordered him to return to his wife. But he ignored the order.

    Any legislation, she said, should be called the John Bergin Act as a reminder of one family it affected.

    The fire department was eager Monday to downplay what Koenig called its "dirty little secret."

    While refusing to comment on specific cases, spokesman David Billig said the department had been "very proactive" in seeking ways to help bereaved families get over their losses. It hired more than 300 counsellors, he explained.

    Copyright 2003 Calgary Herald
    September 11th - Never Forget

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    Wink see post

    ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL
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    ooooooooopssssssssssss sorry! LMFAO @ me

    I really did go through "new topics & today's topics" last night and this morning so guess I must be blind, I didn't see your thread!
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
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    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

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    nice job rookie !
    IACOJ both divisions and PROUD OF IT !
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    http://www.firehouse.com/forums/show...60#post1137060post 115

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    Hey now! Like you never F'd up! HAHAHA Joshie just you wait I'm not that far behind you. Call me a rookie hmmmmmmmmpfffffffffff! Just a matter of time until I fly past your measly 1400 post count, seeing as how you've been a member since 1999 and I've been a member since 2002! hehehe Mind you, you've posted about 40 freaking times since yesterday *snicker* But I have a few little Christmas specials coming up in honour of your Santa position and the holiday season.
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

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    Originally posted by RspctFrmCalgary
    Just a matter of time until I fly past your measly 1400 post count, seeing as how you've been a member since 1999 and I've been a member since 2002!
    Sounds like someone needs to get away from the computer a little bit more
    IACOJ Agitator
    Fightin' Da Man Since '78!

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    omg no S**T LOL

    Now that I've started my home travel business I'm at the freaking computer 18-20 hrs a day!



    *Sher looks guiltily at the clock*
    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

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    No prob at all on that one DRK, LOL!!

    When ya going back to sea? hehehehe

    Different thread I know I know, but too busy/lazy to go to the Hockey thread .... I called Station #1 and #2 tonight and asked them to write on the board that I have an extra ticket for Friday night's game. Decided if my friends are going to be dickwads and not go to the hockey game with me then I'll give the fricking ticket to a firefighter! So we'll see if anyone calls. I know if you lived closer Stephen, you'd come to the game with me and we'd have a BLAST too! GO FLAMES GO! GO FLAMES GO!

    September 11th - Never Forget

    I respect firefighters and emergency workers worldwide. Thank you for what you do.

    Sheri
    IACOJ CRUSTY CONVENTION CHAIR
    Honorary Flatlander

    RAY WAS HERE FIRST

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