1. #1
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    Default Anniversary of the First Flight!

    Today marks the 100th Anniversary of the Wright Brothers flight from Kitty Hawk N.C.

    Let's give these guys some props. If it weren't for them, we may not have Medevac Flights or the Capability to extinguish Wildland Inferno's from the Air.

    Also, the National Air and Space Museum opened it's annex today. It is near Dulles Airport in Chantilly Va. and contains the "Enola Gay." This plane, as most probably know carried the First Atomic Bomb to Hiroshima Japan in 1945 to force Japanese Surrender and end WWII.

    This event wouldn't be right without a protest however. Several Hiroshima Survivors and their Advocates showed up to protest the display of this Great Aircraft. They were appaled because the Display did not indicate the Suffering and Anguish it caused by dropping that bomb.

    Tillerman25 Responds:

    Well, when we open a Museum about the bomb, we will consider it! Until then, go back home and wallow in your own misery. Even better, Wallow in the Misery of the 30,000,000 People that were Slaughtered by your Regime during WWII. Why is it that everytime this Great Nation wants to honor something from it's past, these LOSERS come out from under thier Rocks and try to spit on it?

    Well, when I see a Memorial to the American Soldiers of the Bataan Death March in Central Tokyo or The families of the American POW's used for Slave Labor by the Mitsubishi Corp. during WWII get their REPARATIONS, I will agree to the NASM inidicating suffering from the A-Bomb.

    Be safe all! Happy Holidays!

    A Member of the Vast Right-Wing conspiracy.

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    Not to mention the Allies in Hong Kong when the Japanese overran it. The list is long and distinguished. May they be honoured with dignity and grace.

    May we have another 100 years of aviation inovation!

    Per Ardua ad Astra!!!!
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Just to add a little levity to the day....

    FLYING FACTS YOU MAY NEVER EXPERIENCE.......

    You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.Crickmore -test pilot)

    From an old carrier sailor - Blue water Navy truism; There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

    If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

    Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.

    When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

    Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

    What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

    Never trade luck for skill.

    The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh S#!+!"

    Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

    Progress in airline flying; now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

    Airspeed, altitude, and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.

    A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.

    I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

    Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

    Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.

    Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a> person> on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.

    When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

    Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

    Advice given to RAF pilots during W. W. II. When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

    The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

    A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)

    If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

    If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author &aviator)

    Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

    There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

    The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. (Author> > > > > unknown, but someone who's been there)

    "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).

    If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

    Basic Flying Rules Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

    You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal
    ______

    I thought the air guys might get a chuckle out of this.

    Here are some conversations that airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.

    Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
    Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
    =============================
    "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
    "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
    "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
    =============================
    From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
    Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
    Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
    ============================
    O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
    United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
    ===========================
    A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.
    While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
    Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
    ===========================
    A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
    ===========================
    There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."
    Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
    "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."
    ===========================
    Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"
    "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant. "It took us a while to find a new pilot."
    ==========================
    A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
    Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
    Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
    Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in
    Germany. Why must I speak English?"
    Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
    "Because you lost the bloody war."
    ============================
    Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
    Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

    Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

    Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
    ===========================
    One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
    Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
    "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
    The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
    ===========================
    The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following
    exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
    Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
    Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
    The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
    Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
    Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
    Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- and I didn't land."
    =============================
    While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
    An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

    Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
    "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

    Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
    Last edited by MalahatTwo7; 12-17-2003 at 02:01 PM.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    Thumbs up

    Those were Excellent!

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    I wonder what would have happened to the aero industry if this had happened on this day 100yrs ago?

    Wright brothers' 1903 flight re-enactment fails; plane slips into puddle

    MARGARET LILLARD Canadian Press Wednesday, December 17, 2003

    The 1903 Wright Flyer reproduction, piloted by Kevin Kochersberger, fails to take off Wednesday, Dec. 17, in Kill Devil Hills, N.C., during the First Flight centennial event. (AP/Grant Halverson)

    CREDIT: (AP/Grant Halverson)

    KILL DEVIL HILLS, N.C. (AP) - An attempt Wednesday to re-create the Wright brothers' first flight exactly a century later didn't go off as planned.

    The propellers spun and the plane rolled along a track, but then it sputtered into a puddle. The attempt had already been delayed by about three hours after a heavy downpour.

    The re-enactment was originally scheduled for 10:35 a.m., exactly 100 years after the brothers from Dayton, Ohio, made their first tentative hops through the air with a delicate contraption fashioned in their bicycle shop.

    President George W. Bush was on hand earlier Wednesday and remarked on the inclement conditions for the re-enactment.

    "On the day they did fly, just like today, the conditions were not ideal," Bush told a crowd of about 30,000 at the Wright Brothers National Memorial.

    "The Wright brothers hit some disappointments along the way. There must have been times when they had to fight their own doubts," he said.

    "They pressed on, believing in the great work they had begun and in their own capacity to see it though. We would not know their names today if these men had been pessimists."

    Copyright 2003 The Canadian Press
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    The local newspaper did an article about the anniversy that was coming up. Apparently the first unoffical flight occured here where I live in Elm Mott, Texas in 1897. There were no official witnesses to prove it just some people that saw something odd flying around in the sky.
    NREMT-P\ Reserve Volunteer Firefighter\Reserve Police Officer
    IACOJ Attack

    Experts built the Titanic, amateurs built the Ark.

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    All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight"safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

    On landing the hostess said, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
    __________

    "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to leave the aircraft."
    __________

    "Thank you for flying Qantas. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
    __________

    As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Canberra, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
    __________

    After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Adelaide, a flight attendant on a Qantas flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as f#&% everything has shifted."
    __________

    "Welcome aboard Qantas Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
    __________

    "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
    __________

    "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
    __________

    And from the pilot during his welcome message:
    "Qantas airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
    __________

    Overheard on a Qantas flight into Perth, on a particularly windy and bumpyday: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it.
    After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Perth. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
    __________

    Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
    __________

    An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying Qantas."
    He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
    __________

    After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tyre smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
    __________

    Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Qantas."
    __________

    A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number xyz, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY GOD!"
    Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap.
    You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Economy said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

    Luke

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    After every Qantas Airlines flight, pilots complete a complaints sheet which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

    The form used is a piece of paper on which the pilot completes the top part listing the problem, which the mechanics read and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, so the pilot on the plane's next flight can review the form before taking off.

    Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and responses with
    P = the problem logged by the pilot,
    S = the solution and action taken by engineers.

    Qantas, by the way, is the only major airline that has never had an accident.....

    P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude -hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    Luke

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    Richard Pierce a New Zealander first flew in 1901. uo until 1914 the Smithsonian Institute had credited him with the first powered flight.

    When the US Military approached the Wright brothers and wanted their planes for observation duties, the Wrights agreed on one condition.

    And the Smithsonian chenged the history books.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    Lutan, that couple of posts absolutely made my day. I got to the bottom of the story of the Qantas pilot attempting to make his inflight announcement and almost fell off the chair laughing. My Air Force counterparts are reading it as I post this...
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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    I would like thank the Wright Brothers for my birthday present from the Loverly Mrs. Gonzo possible...

    [size=large]
    flying lessons!
    [/size]
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
    Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

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