1. #1
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    Default Hardened Criminals in Morris County, NJ

    You guys think there is no crime out here in rich people's country. Read this.
    Naked truth results in fraud charges
    Drug court program participant caught with fake urinating device
    By Peggy Wright, Daily Record

    John Gatanas might have passed a drug screening test in November if he had practiced zippering his pants.

    The 27-year-old, who was accepted into Morris County's Drug Court program in August 2002, tried to circumvent a routine drug monitoring test on Nov. 20 by wearing a prosthetic penis filled with clean human urine, Prosecutor Michael M. Rubbinaccio said Wednesday.

    Gatanas went to the bathroom on Nov. 20 in the presence of a county probation officer, who tests the urine for traces of drugs to ensure drug court participants stay sober and clean.

    The officer became suspicious when Gatanas appeared to snag his penis with his pants zipper but did not react, flinch or cry out.

    The officer demanded a second urine test, which revealed evidence of drug use, authorities said.

    A Morris County grand jury on Wednesday indicted Gatanas on charges of defrauding the administration of a drug test and possession of an instrument to defraud a drug test.

    After the second test, when Gatanas learned he would be brought before a judge and possibly sent to jail for violating drug court terms, he bolted from the courthouse in Morristown with sheriffs' officers in pursuit, Rubbinaccio said.

    Authorities said Gatanas jumped into his car, which was parked on a street near the courthouse, and allegedly tried to run over a pursuing officer. He was caught in his vehicle, where police found the prosthesis, which also is known as a "Whizzinator."

    For fleeing, the grand jury also charged Gatanas with escape, aggravated assault on Sheriff's Officer David Kenny, and obstructing the administration of law by preventing an officer from performing an official function.

    The Whizzinator, according to the distributor's Web site, is billed as "an easy-to-conceal, easy-to-use urinating device with a very realistic prosthetic penis."

    Buyers can purchase a complete kit for $150 that includes the prosthesis, heat packs, a syringe and dehydrated urine that is guaranteed to be untainted, along with a manual that advises users on how to attach the device and fill it prior to a drug test.

    "Remember, practice makes perfect. Using plain water, practice as much as possible," the instructions advise.

    Gatanas has lived in Dover and Parsippany and has a petty criminal history that includes supermarket shoplifting and car break-ins.

    He was deemed an amenable candidate for Drug Court, which seeks to keep non-violent offenders, whose crimes are motivated by substance abuse, out of prison.

    Participants are subject to strict supervision, treatment programs, routine drug testing and must meet with the drug court's team on a weekly basis.

    Gatanas has been held without bail in the Morris County jail since his Nov. 20 arrest and is due in court on Jan. 8 for a possible decision on whether he will stay in the drug court program.



    BTW, his dad burned down a restuarant about 10 years ago. Couldn't prove it criminally, but he got a big fat zero from the ins. co.

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    Maybe Dad was doing Beta testing with the original Whizzinator and used gasoline instead of warm water?

    Wonders never cease.

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    "Whizzinator."
    Invention of the year!
    Floral Park Fire Explorers
    Post 129
    Floral Park, New York
    www.explorers129.com

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    And this is why I could never be a LEO.

    I’m sorry but if I had to stand there and monitor someone peeing into a cup, and then caught them using the “Wizzinator” and then had to chase them down and then almost get run over (I know its not all the same person). Well, someone’s going to get thumped with a night stick. And then I’d be going to jail and getting thumped, so to speak.

    I guess you have to have a tremendous sense of humor to be a LEO.

    And how good is this guy's life going, $150 for a fake penis!

    Bill

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    Originally posted by whflhff
    And this is why I could never be a LEO.

    I’m sorry but if I had to stand there and monitor someone peeing into a cup, and then caught them using the “Wizzinator” and then had to chase them down and then almost get run over (I know its not all the same person). Well, someone’s going to get thumped with a night stick. And then I’d be going to jail and getting thumped, so to speak.

    I guess you have to have a tremendous sense of humor to be a LEO.

    And how good is this guy's life going, $150 for a fake penis!

    Bill
    Cops don't watch people "whiz" here either. It is monitored by a probation officer, a grossly overworked and grossly undperpaid civil servant. The cops got involved because he was going to be placed under arrest.

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    There was a kid in my old neighborhood who was on probation for drug possession offenses and had to submit to urine tests. He knew he wasn't clean, and he palmed a container of his mother's urine in the stall, peed in the cup, palmed his own sample and gave the probation officer his mom's micturation. After testing, we was arrested... it turns out Mom snorted a few lines of coke earlier... D'oh!
    ‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
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    We just recently had a kid that had to submit to random drug testing as a condition of probation on an arson conviction. He was called for a test, but had smoked a joint. So he brought someone else's urine to give in the test, and successfully submitted it. The problem was that the urine that he submitted was positive for cocaine.

    I guess he was still buzzed when he came up with this plan. The judge put him in Juvenile Corrections custody for an indefinite sentence. Bye bye, probation!
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    I particularly enjoy the employees who complain about their wages and then get burnt on a positive result for cocaine. According to Rolling Stone magazine, coke isn't cheap.
    We require post accident drug testing for injuries and I actually had a guy try to refuse medical treatment for an open fracture. When I said "no", he asked if he could file it on group health. When I said "no" again, he said "well, I'll tell you right now, I won't pass the drug test. I smoked a little pot for my birthday." I said "you never know, you might get lucky." So he went to the company doctor, took the drug test and tested positive for COCAINE!
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    Originally posted by CaptainGonzo
    There was a kid in my old neighborhood who was on probation for drug possession offenses and had to submit to urine tests. He knew he wasn't clean, and he palmed a container of his mother's urine in the stall, peed in the cup, palmed his own sample and gave the probation officer his mom's micturation. After testing, we was arrested... it turns out Mom snorted a few lines of coke earlier... D'oh!
    The only thing that would have been funnier would have been if Mom as pregnant!

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    HEY....if that's the lemonade container....what happened to my urine sample?

    Oh NO.........
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