Thread: Friction

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    Default Friction

    In my fire house, there is a fellow firefighter who refuses to talk to me or say anything to me. I try talking to this individual but doesn't say much to me. When he does, it is an order or negative comments, mind you he is not a officer of the department, just a firefighter. I dont know why he is like this. It seems there is natural friction, never done anything to him. I think since I am accomplishing alot at my department [i.e. training], he may see me as a threat to him. Any suggestions on how to deal with someone like this? should i Confront him? Any similar situations?

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    Be civil, but don't lose any sleep over it.

    You might want to have an informal chat with your CO though, just in case he/she might want to keep an eye on things and intervene if it ever effects the job performance of your team.
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    Is this a volunteer house or paid and on your shift??
    Even the burger-flippers at McDonald's probably have some McWackers.

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    Well if you a go getter and love training and youíve accomplished a lot in the department and the officers like you then maybe heís feeling a little bit inadequate. Most people feel that way when someone comes into their environment where they were once top dog and now thereís a new kid on the block that everyone seems to like.

    I would talk to him one on one and show him that youíre just doing your job, trying to learn something new every day and by no means are you trying to show him up or make him look bad. Work with him, include him in any projects or ideaís for department improvement concepts, this will make him feel useful and not so much inadequate.

    Then again maybe heís just someone that stays mad all the time and hates coming to work and dealing with people that enjoy there way of life. Sometimes outside problems such as family life greatly affects our outlook on work and our peers. Itís all in the personís perception.

    B.T.W Don't let him play the card of "I'm senior to you" there for I'm better and dont havta listen to you". We all learn from each others experiences in life (Fire Dept)and its up to each of us to put those pieces together and make something out of it.
    Last edited by captjab; 02-26-2004 at 10:41 AM.

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    If he's sulkin because your accomplishing more than him in the dept with training and that stuff.. The words Cry me a river..S**t a bridge and get over it come to mind..If he won't talk to you and pretty much ingnores you..Let em.....As ullrichk said don't loose and sleep over it

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    It's not friction, and it probobly isn't even personal. Just a little cold shoulder, right?

    I know this may be a little hard for you to understand right now, as you're very early on in your career. Hopefully it will make sense to you a few years from now.

    The way some people operate is that as a probie, johnny, FNG, etc. you need to 'earn' the senior man's attention and friendship. Some people may not talk to you (other than giving orders or instruction) until after you've fought a pretty serious fire with them.

    Having said that, I can guarantee that if you ask him a direct question about how to do something, there is no way he wouldn't teach you. Just remember, he's the teacher, you're the student. He's done it and you haven't.

    The idea behind this rationale is that by being forced to be humble, you won't get too big for your britches, a know-it-all, cocky, or any number of undesireable traits.

    You say he may be "threatened by you" and that you have been "accomplishing a lot in your department." Without trying to sound like a *****, may I suggest that perhaps you might already be exhibiting some of those undesireable traits? Remember, all the training in the world doesn't equal real world experience. You need to put your time as a junior man before you get to be top dog. Sometimes it takes a long time (like 20 years or more.)

    It may seem petty, childish or even cruel when you're on the receiving end of it, but I can tell you firsthand from experience that it (the silent treatment) works. If you understand that you know very little, have experienced very little, and strive to be as good as those who have come before you, you will be a better fireman for it.

    I promise you that if you do the right thing, (not just for a week or a month) but for a couple of years, that guy will warm up to you. Then you will know that you earned his friendship and it will mean all that much more. When guys come in behind you, and you see from being there already how they should act, it will all make sense to you.

    Hang in there.

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    Then there is the wee fact that not everyone will like you, and vice versa. That is a fact of life, get used to it.

    You are not a FF for a popularity contest, get on with your life and job and don't sweat the small stuff.

    As long as he does nothing negative or dangerous if you have to work together then there is really no problem.

    Time sorts a lot of things naturaly.
    Psychiatrists state 1 in 4 people has a mental illness.
    Look at three of your friends, if they are ok, your it.

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    maybe its from all the CO2 ?>
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    Thanks for everyones opinion. I am in a volunteer company and the member who is like this as only 2 years more than me in the company. I liked everyones opinions.

    I think that my best bet is to just do what I have to do as I have been trained, avoid this guy and go on with what I do there. I agree with te fact that we all learn from eachother and thats what I have learned with my time there. It seems as if, though, he is willing to comment but not pass his knowledge to me/others. But now that I read your comments, I should just understand my accomplishments and 'not sweat the small stuff'.

    Thanks!

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