1. #26
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    Originally posted by JenniJ375
    ACK!! Accurate?? Sheesh....glad i live alone
    It's not so bad. It's one of those things I sit here laughing at thinking "Its funny cause its true"

  2. #27
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    Originally posted by WannabeintheFD
    http://www.unc.edu/~miller9/50response.html


    guys response to 50 questions,
    **there was no limit to question context**
    UNC?!? Blah!

    Teach a child the ABC's...Anybody But Carolina

    Remember...Friends Don't Let Friends Become Tarholes!


    After going to NC State, I can go on and on about that...

    but anywho...

    They stole the response to #3 from Clerks!!!!
    IACOJ Agitator
    Fightin' Da Man Since '78!

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    If it's so easy for men to put the seat down, why is it so difficult for women to do it?

    It may be uncomfortable to get your nether quarters damp but think of the trauma caused when you visit a house with a femanazi toilet seat cover and it falls down in mid stream and leaves you with visions of your extremeties getting a guilotine effect when the lid crashes down. Scares the livin begeebers out of me every time it happens.

    Anyways majority rules and in my house that means the males rule (we outnumber them 1-0) and those fuzzy seats are verboten and the seat stands at attention....unless I need to read.

  4. #29
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    Never ask a man to make a decision about something and expect us to make the same preconsieved notion that you have......it just will not happen.
    AKA: Mr. Whoo-Whoo

    IAFF Local 3900

    IACOJ-The Crusty Glow Worm

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  5. #30
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    OK ok ok ok I get it I live alone so I dont have to wory about it but still...i am the only female on my FD and well...the guys catch hell when they use MY bathroom and leave the seat up...they have their own flippin bathroom LOL LOL LOL
    ~~Jenni~~
    Canaan Fire Department-Canaan, NH
    "In the end we will conserve only what we love, we will love only what we understand,
    we will understand only what we are taught."
    Baba Dioum, Senegalese Conservationist

  6. #31
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    Originally posted by Adze39
    They stole the response to #3 from Clerks!!!!
    They stole the answer to #31 from Dogma!!!!
    Shawn M. Cecula
    Firefighter
    IACOJ Division of Fire and EMS

  7. #32
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    ok so i finally got a chance to check out that site that was posted...LOL ...too funny...some are true....LOL some I dont care
    ~~Jenni~~
    Canaan Fire Department-Canaan, NH
    "In the end we will conserve only what we love, we will love only what we understand,
    we will understand only what we are taught."
    Baba Dioum, Senegalese Conservationist

  8. #33
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    Originally posted by Lewiston2Capt


    They stole the answer to #31 from Dogma!!!!
    Typical UNC student...can't think of an original idea or response...



    Q: What does a UNC graduate call a Duke grad?

    A: Boss


    Q: What does a UNC grad say to a NC State grad?

    A: Would you like fries with that?
    IACOJ Agitator
    Fightin' Da Man Since '78!

  9. #34
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    Originally posted by Adze39


    Typical UNC student...can't think of an original idea or response...



    Q: What does a UNC graduate call a Duke grad?

    A: Boss


    Q: What does a UNC grad say to a NC State grad?

    A: Would you like fries with that?
    Sounds like the same thing that went on between Alfred University and Alfred State College.
    Shawn M. Cecula
    Firefighter
    IACOJ Division of Fire and EMS

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    Now to all the ladies out there. Anybody who cant bother to look before they squat deserves to get a wet ***. Besides look at it as a work thing. Its a lot easier for you to flick the lid down than it is for us to lift it up.
    After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one

    Official Minister of Philosophy of the IACOJ

    IACOJ Probie Crusty of the year 2003

  11. #36
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    where to start, huh '77 ?
    IACOJ both divisions and PROUD OF IT !
    Pardon me sir.. .....but I believe we are all over here !
    ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS: Will the dead horse please report to the forums.(thanks Motown)
    RAY WAS HERE 08/28/05
    LETHA' FOREVA' ! 010607
    I'm sorry, I haven't been paying much attention for the last 3 hours.....what were we discussing?
    "but I guarentee you I will FF your arse off" from>
    http://www.firehouse.com/forums/show...60#post1137060post 115

  12. #37
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    i see it this way, just get 2 bathrooms, that way no one has to deal with one another
    I havent failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.

    - Thomas Edison

  13. #38
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    You know why UT players wear orange? So they can go straight to litter/trash pick-up after the game.

  14. #39
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    The way I figure it is this .......... MAJORITY rules. In my house the females outnumber the males 3:1, so that means you'd better put the damn seat down when you're done, son. He does, the only time I ever had the pleasure of sitting on a cold, wet porcelain toilet rim at 0'dark thirty was when I was married. Since I rid myself of the excess baggage I've never had that displeasure again.
    To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.

    IACOJ-WOT proud

    GO WHITE SOX!!!!!

  15. #40
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    Originally posted by 12TruckIrons
    Now to all the ladies out there. Anybody who cant bother to look before they squat deserves to get a wet ***. Besides look at it as a work thing. Its a lot easier for you to flick the lid down than it is for us to lift it up.
    Exactly. It would seem to me that one would want to look before they put their bare, exposed @ss on anything.
    Look at dogs they look, sniff and do the whole circle thing before they finally get down to business.

    Now if you live in a house with say four males and 1 female, maybe investing in a urinal would be a good idea.
    Once an Eagle, always an Eagle.

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    There be no females in my house at all right now. HOWEVER, the "Standing Rule" here is (and has been since I moved away from home) is that the seat AND THE lid are placed and "locked" in the DOWN position. That way everyone is treated equally, and besides, it stops the dog from drinking out of the toilet bowl.
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  17. #42
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    Default jenny, you asked for it!

    Retrosexuals


    Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand any more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!

    Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement. "

    The Code :

    A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

    A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.

    A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

    A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

    A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.

    A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

    A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.

    A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

    A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

    A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.

    A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.

    A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

    A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.

    A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.

    A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.

    A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.


    A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".

    Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of major body part on your Ford truck.

    When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.

    A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner

    A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

    A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

    A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.

    A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land. Except on his truck--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.

    A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.

    A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

    A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !

  18. #43
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    Originally posted by manofire2
    ...think of the trauma caused when you visit a house with a femanazi toilet seat cover and it falls down in mid stream and leaves you with visions of your extremeties getting a guilotine effect when the lid crashes down.
    What are you doing that your extremeties would be in the way of the lid when it comes down? Are you kneeling in front of the toilet with your parts resting on the edge of the bowl or something? Even if you are equipted like Ron Jeremy you should not be in danger of getting hit by the seat or lid on an average sized toilet. They may fall and pass through the stream and get soaked but if they hit anything on the way down then you must be in some contorted squating/leaning position.
    Steve
    EMT/Security Officer

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    Default A wise man told me

    My grandaddy said that the best thing, if you can afford it, is to build your wife her own house on the same property. That way, one of you can retreat.

    Grandaddy "Wimmenz make better neighbors than wives"

  20. #45
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    Default PFD...LOL

    Thank you PFD that was ...ummmmmmmmm...enlightening to say the very least...LOL...oh and my name is spelled "JENNI"....nut whp's counting
    ~~Jenni~~
    Canaan Fire Department-Canaan, NH
    "In the end we will conserve only what we love, we will love only what we understand,
    we will understand only what we are taught."
    Baba Dioum, Senegalese Conservationist

  21. #46
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    Default Re: PFD...LOL

    Originally posted by JenniJ375
    Thank you PFD that was ...ummmmmmmmm...enlightening to say the very least...LOL...oh and my name is spelled "JENNI"....nut whp's counting
    Jenni with one "i"

    I once had a (blonde) secretary that introduced herself "Hi, I'm Sherri with one "i" "

    I put one of my hands over one of my eyes "Hello Sherri with one EYE, did you have an accident, or how did you end up one eye?"

    she didn't get it at first........

    she quickly became known as "One Eyed Sherri".......

    --------------------------------------



  22. #47
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    LOL pfd....but I didnt say "with one i" did I?? And did ya notice all the typos in my reply?? Sheesh...that will teach me not to edit after I type something
    ~~Jenni~~
    Canaan Fire Department-Canaan, NH
    "In the end we will conserve only what we love, we will love only what we understand,
    we will understand only what we are taught."
    Baba Dioum, Senegalese Conservationist

  23. #48
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    Default A friend sent me this

    A friend sent me this and I think maybe it is too cute NOT to post in here as a reply from some of the guys

    CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS



    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY March. 5th.

    NOTE:
    DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZE WILL BE
    LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.



    Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide
    Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00
    PM.


    Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


    Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and
    Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
    (Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street)


    Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


    Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
    beginning at 7:00 PM


    Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and
    Sunday 7:00PM.


    Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right
    places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
    Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


    Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at
    7:00PM for 2 hours.


    Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


    Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel
    parks?
    Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


    Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.


    Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00
    PM.


    Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
    and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.


    Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
    Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be
    determined.







    Upon completion of any of the above courses,
    diplomas will be issued to the survivors
    ~~Jenni~~
    Canaan Fire Department-Canaan, NH
    "In the end we will conserve only what we love, we will love only what we understand,
    we will understand only what we are taught."
    Baba Dioum, Senegalese Conservationist

  24. #49
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    Maybe there would be less hurt feelings if WOMEN WOULD LEARN TO PEE STANDING UP.
    http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html

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    I'll respond to each item separately.

    1. Why fill ice cube trays, go to your local convenience store and buy a bag of ice. The tray does not hold enough. Better yet drink beer, no ice required.

    2. Any and all things with respect to toilets is womens work (or in my politically incorrect world, rookies work). Please remember this for future reference, it is important.

    3. No it is not possible otherwise the woman and/or rookie would not feel needed. Also see #2.

    4. When floor disapears, laundry needs doing, it is a simple concept.

    5. Paper plates, need I say more.

    6. 2 things women are not genetically programed to operate are TV remotes and barbeques. This is natures doing, don't blame us.

    7. If women didn't put things away we would have no trouble finding anything, it would be there where I left it, like everything else.

    8. Flowers wilt and die and are of no use. Buy her a vacuum cleaner or lawn mower instead. She will feel appreciated and be able to do womens work better.

    9. yeah right, as if.

    10. Yes. Note to file, add driving to #6.

    11. Mother can cook.

    12. Real men don't shop. Period!

    13. Your right about this one, I need help.

    14. One word, microwave. Any other meals, pub food will suffice.


    Please take any and all the above seriously.....really.

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