1. #1
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    Default JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

    KIDS TODAY THINK ON THEIR FEET
    TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
    JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

    *************

    TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
    SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

    *************

    TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
    WILLIE: Me!

    *************

    TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
    TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

    *************

    TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
    ELLEN: I is...
    TEACHER: No, Ellen.... Always say, "I am."
    ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

    *************

    TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

    *************

    TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
    JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."

    *************

    TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SAM: No sir, I don't have to,. . .my Mom is a good cook.

    *************

    TEACHER: Morris, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

    *************

    TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    PUPIL: A teacher
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

  2. #2
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    Default YOU'VE GOT MAIL

    THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR

    A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again.

    Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

    Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL'!!!"
    If you don't do it RIGHT today, when will you have time to do it over? (Hall of Fame basketball player/coach John Wooden)

    "I may be slow, but my work is poor." Chief Dave Balding, MVFD

    "Its not Rocket Science. Just use a LITTLE imagination." (Me)

    Get it up. Get it on. Get it done!

    impossible solved cotidie. miracles postulo viginti - quattuor hora animadverto

    IACOJ member: Cheers, Play safe y'all.

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